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Practical Intuition with Kay

Supporting the inner lives of us grown-ups… I help people "knock the bricks off their wings and truly fly," as one client beautifully put it... I'm Kay, an artist, author, and coach. I live in Massachusetts, USA, with my husband, sons, and our 12-1/2-year-old pet chicken. Connect with me at kaylockkolp.com. PS This show used to be called We Turned Out Okay… You're in the right place! The first 375-ish episodes were created with that name. Much has changed around here, but much has stayed the same. I'm glad you are here!
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All Episodes
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Now displaying: 2016
Sep 13, 2016

What if your child, while perfectly capable of speech, simply can't speak in certain situations, like at preschool, school or daycare?

That's the situation that Sabrina Rizk and her husband, Anthony, found themselves with their now-nine-year-old daughter Hannah was entering preschool.

My conversation with Sabrina starts off in another really cool direction: we get to talk about the round-the-world trip Sabrina, her husband, and their two daughters took during the 2015 academic year!

Sabrina shares about the trip, how Hannah and younger sister Amy adapted to the traveling, and how Anthony got a six-month leave of absence from his software development job for the trip.

Sabrina kept a blog – and is writing a book series for children – about their trip; visit weturnedoutokay.com/104 for podcast notes about selective mutism and traveling around the world, links to the book series and Sabrina's blog, and to listen!

Sep 6, 2016

When our oldest, Max, started kindergarten, he morphed from the enthusiastic, curious, good-natured boy we had known since the day he was born, and into a truly anxious child with frequent night terrors; in first grade he even sustained the loss of 20% of his body weight and was diagnosed with migraine at age 6.

Do you have an anxious kid, who's worried about starting preschool or kindergarten, or a higher grade?

Have you been told all about the dangers of "summer slide," the idea that it's more important for kids to store facts from last year than to have a relaxed and enjoyable summer break?

Today, with the learning year just getting underway, we dig into why autumn anxiety beats out summer slide – at least, in these earlier grades when our kids are very young – as what to concern ourselves with as parents.

I share two ways to alleviate your child's autumn anxiety; click weturnedoutokay.com/103 to listen and read more about those two ways!

Aug 30, 2016

In today's last Summer Camp episode, we talk about how to get kids the musical and sensory experiences they need – and why they need these experiences so much.

My first job out of college, I worked in the infant room of a day care center with kids age about 6 months old to about 1-year-old. Each week, the center brought in a guitarist to sing and play to the babies, and I was absolutely amazed at how they responded: no matter where they were in our room, they crawled over to the guitarist, dancing in that bouncing-up-and-down way that babies have, grinning and laughing and trying to touch the guitarist in the guitar. It was amazing!

That experience was my first taste of how very badly children need music in their lives.

Then, as a preschool teacher and earning my master's degree in early childhood education I learned how important other sensory experiences are to help regulate the kid's mood, workout aggressions, and learn kinesthetically.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/102 to listen and for notes about how to get music and other sensory experiences into your child's life!

Aug 25, 2016

Maybe you've heard of studies showing that, the more facts you place in front of someone who disagrees with your position, the less likely they are to agree with you?

Science Versus, a new podcast from the juggernaut Gimlet Media, takes an unusual approach to looking at the many things we humans can disagree on, and I love it. Host Wendy Zuckerman, with her delightful Australian accent and ability to be neutral on some pretty charged issues, investigates every aspect of each episode's subject.

Today, our podcast field trip looks at a divisive issue among us parents: Attachment Parenting. Click weturnedoutokay.com/101 for key links to see how attachment parenting stacks up against science!

Aug 23, 2016

How lucky that episode 100 landed during Summer Camp, creating the perfect moment for a conversation with the man behind the great sound of this podcast, my husband and Max and Jay's dad, Benjamin Kolp. We geek out over sound technology, the origins of We Turned Out Okay, and best of all Ben shares many awesome tips on fishing with kids for you guys!

This is a man who really, really loves fishing. Ben shares two scenarios regarding your children, you, and fishing:

1) you love to fish, and want to give your young kids that same love; or
2) the thought of worms and fishhooks makes you are really squeamish, but your young child desperately wants to learn how to fish.

Which heading do you come under?

Read detailed notes about Ben's tips and listen to this episode at weturnedoutokay.com/100!

Aug 18, 2016

On today's podcast field trip, we head for a new favorite of mine: Gimlet's Sampler, hosted by Britanny Luse!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/099 for links to this new favorite (along with another great Gimlet show, Surprisingly Awesome) and to listen!

Aug 16, 2016

Childhood friendships are something that a lot of us adults kind of don't get.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/098 to hear the best way to help your child make friends!

Aug 11, 2016

Today we visit a podcast that will stimulate your creativity and help you learn about some really great and cool things – Innovation Hub with host Kara Miller!

I share two recent episodes, plus one from a year or so ago, that really stand out in my mind and will be relevant for you.
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/097 for links to Innovation Hub, and to listen!

Aug 9, 2016

Today's show is all about puppets – good fun, and an often-unrecognized key tool to getting to know your child on a whole new level.

Kids talk to puppets.
They see puppets as people, as their own individual entities, not cloth or paper stuck on the end of somebody's arm… As I think about it, even though I'm a grown woman myself, I still see puppets in this way! Maybe you do too.
If you want to really get to know your child, and have a few laughs as well, grab a puppet, or stuffed animal, sit down somewhere and just wait for your son or daughter to catch that puppet's eye.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/096 for key links, including to the wonderful documentary I Am Big Bird, about legendary puppeteer Caroll Spinney, to listen to this week's Summer Camp episode, and to read about why puppets are such a great learning tool!

Aug 4, 2016

Today, our podcast field trip takes us to one of the first podcasts I ever listened to: Freakonomics Radio with host Stephen J. Dubner.

Freakonomics is such a great podcast because, like the book series of the same name which Dubner wrote with Steve Levitt, a frequent contributor to Freakonomics Radio, each episode digs into the field of behavioral economics, showing us humans stuff we never would have thought about ourselves.

For links to today's field trip, go to weturnedoutokay.com/095.

Aug 2, 2016

It's probably not an essential skill, but sandcastle-building really appeals to our imaginations. Plus, it's fun!

Today I share a fantastic and fun book which, in addition to giving the secret to building truly epic sandcastles, also gives strategies to win many of your favorite games, like Risk, Jenga, Connect Four, and pillow fighting.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/094 to read about the sandcastle secret, for key links, and to listen!

Jul 28, 2016

Have you ever found a podcast that resonates with you really deeply? If so, maybe it's Good Life Project by Jonathan Fields! (If not, get in touch with me at weturnedoutokay.com/contact, and share – I'd love to hear what yours is, and why.)

Before we head out on our podcast field trip, I want to update you all on the Ninja Parenting Community… as i record this episode, I'm still working to fix the tiny technical issue that has held up the community's opening – but by the time this airs, the glitch may be worked out… Hopefully… Fingers crossed!

But whether it's open yet or not, it will be open soon, and it's a really great community to belong to if you're worrying about any aspect of parenting your young kids:

If they're having trouble in daycare or you're worried about that looming first day of school;
If you need help balancing work, family, and taking care of you;
If you're finding yourself in need of more support than We Turned Out Okay alone can give;

I hope you'll check it out – go to weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login to learn more!

And now, it's time to board the big yellow field trip bus that has pulled into our summer camp parking lot, heading out to one of my very favorite podcasts. Go to weturnedoutokay.com/093 to grab the links and come on the field trip!

Jul 26, 2016

Today, summer camp is all about the joys of bike riding! Have you tried to teach your child how to ride a bike, only to abandon the effort after she expresses fear and has many falls? Are you unable to get him off the training wheels?

We screwed up in trying to teach our first born how to ride a bike; by the second kid, we had figured it out.

Learn from our family experience – go to weturnedoutokay.com/092 to read about the two things you absolutely should never do when teaching your child how to ride a bike!

Jul 21, 2016

Today we get kinda serious on our podcast field trip, but in the best way, as we visit The Broad Experience! It's "the show about women and the workplace," as host Ashley Milne-Tyte often says, and is relevant not just to every woman, but to every man who has a mother, a significant other, a female coworker, or a daughter in his life.

First, a quick note about the Ninja Parenting Community: I've had a technical glitch hold up the opening for a few weeks, which is a bummer. However, it can work out really well for you because, as compensation, I'm offering more one-to-one support to those who become part of my email group and join the community in its very first week! (Hopefully in late July.) Becoming part of the email group now means:
– a weekly email about what's happening on We Turned Out Okay
– the chance to join the Ninja Parenting Community at the best pricing that there will ever be, period.
– a one-to-one parent coaching call every three months for all the time you're continuously in the community!
– I'm offering this as compensation for the time we are all stuck waiting as I figure out the technical glitch,
so you definitely want to jump into my email group!
Become part of the email group by clicking this link or going to weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login and signing up to get notified about when the Ninja Parenting Community opens.

Last summer I had the pleasure of interviewing Ashley, and I loved our conversation so much that I featured it again this spring! To hear our conversation, go to weturnedoutokay.com/069.
For links to the specific Broad Experience episodes I talk about in today's We Turned Out Okay – and also for the link to my friend Geoff Woods's podcast, called The Mentee (and whom I speak about today because he and his wife gave me a lovely endorsement for my book, Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics) – go to weturnedoutokay.com/091.

Key Links:

Get on the bus and come to this week's Podcast Field Trip!
– For Ashley's conversation about work and intimacy with guest Evelyn Resh, click:
here – thebroadexperience.com/listen/2016/6/17/episode-86-work-and-intimacy-part-1 – for part one;
here – thebroadexperience.com/listen/2016/6/24/episode-87-work-and-intimacy-part-2 – for part two;
and here – thebroadexperience.com/listen/2013/5/24/episode-19-women-work-and-sex.html – for Ashley and Evelyn's first conversation back in 2013

Find out more about Geoff and his journey from employee to entrepreneur by going to menteepodcast.com.

Jul 19, 2016

Do you, like me, worry about your son or daughter drowning during a day at the pool or the beach?

When my two boys were small, I was given some great advice about keeping them safe while swimming, and that's what today's Summer Camp Episode is all about.

First, a quick note about the Ninja Parenting Community: I've had a technical glitch hold up the opening for a few weeks, which is a bummer. However, it can work out really well for you because, as compensation, I'm offering more one-to-one support to those who become part of my email group and join the community in its very first week! (Hopefully in late July.) Becoming part of the email group now means:
– a weekly email about what's happening on We Turned Out Okay
– the chance to join the Ninja Parenting Community at the best pricing that there will ever be, period.
– a one-to-one parent coaching call every three months for all the time you're continuously in the community!
– I'm offering this as compensation for the time we are all stuck waiting as I figure out the technical glitch,
so you definitely want to jump into my email group!
Become part of the email group by clicking this link or going to weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login and signing up to get notified about when the Ninja Parenting Community opens.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/090 to read all about the key steps to helping your kid learn to swim, and to listen to the episode!

Jul 14, 2016

t's completely silly, the expletives fly superfast, it's raunchy, and it's about an imaginary world: it's The Adventure Zone, and if you haven't heard this podcast yet, you need to listen!

Three comedian-brothers, Griffin, Travis, and Justin McElroy, along with their dad Clint have created an amazing world in these eighteen months or so that they've recorded as the four of them sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. I think I love it so much because the characters that the McElroys have created are awesome and lovable. Also because, as they play, the story unfolds; main characters Magnus, Taako, and Merle have no more idea of what's coming than we do. The way the way these characters react to the world and circumstances that dungeon master Griffin is creating makes the show amazing and hilarious.

First, a quick note about the Ninja Parenting Community: I've had a technical glitch hold up the opening for a few weeks, which is a bummer. However, it can work out really well for you because, as compensation, I'm offering more one-to-one support to those who become part of my email group and join the community in its very first week! (Hopefully in late July.) Becoming part of the email group now means:
– a weekly email about what's happening on We Turned Out Okay
– the chance to join the Ninja Parenting Community at the best pricing that there will ever be, period.
– a one-to-one parent coaching call every three months for all the time you're continuously in the community!
– I'm offering this as compensation for the time we are all stuck waiting as I figure out the technical glitch,
so you definitely want to jump into my email group!
Become part of the email group by clicking this link or going to weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login and signing up to get notified about when the Ninja Parenting Community opens.

Now, go to weturnedoutokay.com/089 for links to my three favorite episodes of The Adventure Zone!

Jul 12, 2016

Did you love arts & crafts at camp, or hate it? I was a mixture of both – some projects I loved, and some I loathed, and as I think about those projects, I realize that I disliked the micromanaged, do-it-the-instructor's-way-or-else projects the most.

I always loved the open-ended stuff best. Also, big projects were really fun, as were those that got you super-messy.

For today's summer camp arts & crafts show, I'm sharing my all-time favorite project to do with little kids: painting a giant mural just as Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel ceiling!

First, a quick note about the Ninja Parenting Community: I've had a technical glitch hold up the opening for a few weeks, which is a bummer. However, it can work out really well for you because, as compensation, I'm offering more one-to-one support to those who become part of my email group and join the community in its very first week! (Hopefully in late July.) Becoming part of the email group now means:
– a weekly email about what's happening on We Turned Out Okay
– the chance to join the Ninja Parenting Community at the best pricing that there will ever be, period.
– a one-to-one parent coaching call every three months for all the time you're continuously in the community!
– I'm offering this as compensation for the time we are all stuck waiting as I figure out the technical glitch,
so you definitely want to jump into my email group!
Become part of the email group by clicking this link or going to weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login and signing up to get notified about when the Ninja Parenting Community opens.

To listen and to learn how to do today's unusual and very fun arts & crafts project, go to weturnedoutokay.com/088.

Jul 7, 2016

Welcome to the first Thursday summer camp episode of We Turned Out Okay, where every Tuesday will be about fun stuff to do with our kids, and every Thursday will be about fun stuff to do for ourselves!

Today, the big yellow bus has pulled into the parking lot of our summer camp, and the doors are open, ready to take us to check out the stars with Neil DeGrasse Tyson of Star Talk Radio.

Click here  or go to weturnedoutokay.com/087 for the links to today's field trip!

Jul 5, 2016

Happy summer!
Here at We Turned Out Okay, we're changing the format up, making each Tuesday about something fun to do with your kids – and each Thursday something fun to do for yourself.

Today, for our very first Summer Camp episode, we are taking some bugs on a field trip!

If your child is frightened of creepy-crawlies, today's summer camp activity could really help him or her get past that.

And for everybody else, it is just plain fun :-)

Also, I'm excited to announce that the Ninja Parenting Community is open in beta!
If you're feeling overwhelmed by the many tough aspects of raising a young child, I hope you'll check it out –
Click here to read more about it.

Enjoy the show!

Jun 30, 2016

Today, I answer the second of two questions asked a few weeks ago by listener Suzanna; I answered Suzanna's first question in a special bonus episode last Thursday about road-and-parking-lot safety with small children, which you can hear by clicking here.

Suzanna's second question seems somewhat thornier, and will be familiar to anyone with more than one child (or who was more than one child growing up). She writes that she is concerned about "how to deal with the acting out the comes with the new baby in the family: hitting, potty training regression etc. So much is on how to physically intervene with hitting, but with an infant in arms this is often impossible."

Click this link or go to weturnedoutokay.com/085 to read my response to Suzanna, and also for key links from today's episode!

Jun 28, 2016

Do You you sometimes feel caught between competing demands in your life: work is pulling you one way, kids another, taking care of yourself a distant third?

My guest today, Elizabeth Miller of happyhealthycaregiver.com, knows your pain. In fact, a few years ago she added another demand on top of these when her father passed away and her chronically ill mother moved close to Elizabeth so she and her siblings could care for their Mom.

Elizabeth writes about that time in her life: "I was stressed, overwhelmed and often felt like I was suffocating by my never-ending to-do lists."

After looking for a support network for others like her, caught in the middle as the so-called sandwich generation, Elizabeth created the support she needed by founding Happy Healthy Caregiver; now, she helps many others transcend the overwhelm she was feeling, while simultaneously caring for parents, children, and themselves.

Today, Elizabeth joins me to talk about how parents of young children – with all the work-life balance issues this stage of life brings – can enjoy family life and a great relationship with their children!

Click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/084 to listen, and for key links, including to a fantastic meditation app and a book which has helped Elizabeth understand her loved ones better.

Jun 23, 2016

Recently listener Suzanna got in touch with two great questions – so I decided to split the answers into today's bonus Your Child Explained and next week's regularly scheduled one.

Today I answer Suzanna's first question: how can we keep our kids safe on roadways and in parking lots and other public places, while also giving them some independence?

My answer is twofold – click here to listen, read the show notes, and for key links talked about in today's episode!

Jun 21, 2016

Understanding our own feelings is the work of childhood – but sometimes this important work is not completed when it should be, and that's bad for so many reasons. Today we look at what can go wrong, and talk about 3 ways to help kids understand their own feelings!
This Just You and Me episode functions as the second of two chapter studies of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics: Key Tools to Handle Every Temper Tantrum, Keep Your Cool, and Enjoy Life With Your Young Child.
Click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/083 to listen and get access to key links, including to your FREE guide outlining the bonus fourth way to help our kids understand their own feelings!

Jun 16, 2016

Do you wish your mornings could be a little bit less stressful? It can be really hard to get out the door with young kids, and that was Marla's situation with her kindergartner, Gracie.

Recently Marla wrote with the following questions: "how can I pull her out of the "I will not and you can't make me!" mindset and nudge her back into "if I do this we can all have a good time" mindset? When she has her battle armor on, she will argue with me about everything… she will sometimes yell and sometimes I yell. I try to get to her level and talk about it, but sometimes I'm not sure what to say. We just need to get ready to go. You know?"

For Marla, the situation is a little bit more complicated as Gracie has Down Syndrome. But I was so happy that we could record our coaching call – EVERY young child gets that battle armor sometimes!

Today I'm thrilled to bring you my parent coaching call with Marla. Like you, she is a parent who loves her child fiercely and and yet also struggles with the day-to-day issues that every child can bring up. When I checked in with Marla recently she had really great news about streamlining their busy mornings, and you'll hear about that towards the end of this episode.

Click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/082 to check out Marla's beautiful schedule board, created for Gracie based on the advice I was able to share, and also for key links to today's episode!

Jun 14, 2016

About three weeks ago, my father required brain surgery to fix a subdural hematoma that he sustained while skiing two months previously. My husband Ben held the fort here at home while I flew out to be with my folks; today I'm sharing what I learned during the ten days I spent with them. (Dad is doing very well and on the mend.)
This episode comes in three parts: first, I share about what I learned during the ten days I spent with Mom and Dad surrounding Dad's surgery.
Next, we are rebroadcasting the father's day bonus episode from June 2015, my conversation with my Dad; finally, we are rebroadcasting the mother's day bonus episode from May 2015, my conversation with my Mom (my favorite part: when she describes her Stuffed Zucchini Theory of parenting young children :-)
Today's episode is unusual, and not what I was planning at all – sometimes life intervenes, and that's just, well, life. I bring it to you in hopes you can learn something from my experience. I hope it resonates with you, dear listener, and helps you remember how important family bonds are.

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