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The We Turned Out Okay Podcast

What kind of hijinks did you get up to as a kid? Did you climb trees? Did you run around outside barefoot? Did you eat raw cookie dough? Maybe you wanted to do these and other crazy things, but you weren't allowed… Let me ask you this: what if your children wanted to? Would you let them? If you hesitate there, well, you're in the right place. The We Turned Out Okay podcast is where we learn the hows and whys of hovering less and enjoying our young children more. You get to learn from host Karen Lock Kolp's mistakes, but especially from the successes of her guests. Each helpful, lively conversation illustrates why this show really is "The Modern Guide to Old-School Parenting."
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Jul 17, 2018

Welcome to Part 3 of our Taming the Weeknight Chaos series!

Click here for the FREE Tame the Weeknight Chaos Guide, including Video & Checklist

Today we are talking about how to start weeknights off right.

I've got 3 easy steps that you can use to get a peaceful and enjoyable start to this very evening!

Want my complete, free Guide to Taming Weeknight chaos, which includes a 6-point checklist and a video?
Get the guide – and also watch the video module I made to accompany this episode – at:
weturnedoutokay.com/234

Thanks and happy listening!

Jul 10, 2018

Welcome to Part 2 of our Taming the Weeknight Chaos series!

Today we address a huge challenge in every parent's efforts to create enjoyable, smooth family weeknights: there's just not enough time to get everything done.

In fact today is a troubleshooting episode, because we tackle that problem – and also the "I'm always the bad cop" problem that comes up for tons of parents!

You'll find this episode really helpful if weeknight chaos is a problem for you.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/233 for:

A video covering these two common problems with weeknights;

And: A free 6-Point Checklist and Video Guide to help you truly enjoy weeknights with your kids

Happy listening : )

Jul 3, 2018

Today is the start of a new series

here at We Turned Out okay!

It's all about taming the chaotic and crazy weeknights that so many of us experience in raising kids.

We start by investigating: WHY are weeknights so tough?

For us parents, evenings – especially weeknights – are a constant slog.

I want to make this series tailored exactly to your needs, and in order to do that I need you to respond to the poll I've got going on this very topic!

Go to the We Turned Out Okay Facebook page to take the poll (the link is just below)…

Or if you are in the We Turned Out Okay email group, the poll has already landed in your inbox, and hopefully you've already written me back.

Thank you so much for helping me make this series into exactly what will help you most!

 

All The Links

I'm making it easy on you to access all the links I talk about in today's episode:

Click here for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook page, where you can take the poll (and also catch the Magic Words for Parents video I do live each Monday at 10 AM EST : )

Click here for the Karen Lock Kolp YouTube channel, featuring a playlist of Magic Words for Parents, including this week's which shares a phrase for when your child loses a special comfort object, like a blanky or stuffed animal.

Click here for EXTRA Magic Words for Parents, exclusive access to my patron-only feed, advanced chapters of my forthcoming book, Your Child Explained Volume 1, and other great stuff which goes way beyond what regular listeners get… Find all these awesome and exclusive extras at Patreon.com/weturnedoutokay!

I teach these great things called Parent-Ninja Tactics, which are THE key to happy parenting, and they're only available in the Ninja Parenting Community.
I would love to teach you these and help you truly enjoy the time you spend with your kids!
Join the Ninja Parenting Community by going to weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC.

Click here to sign up for my FREE checklist and video on How to Handle Every Temper Tantrum so that you can calmly, confidently handle your child's very next one!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/232 for every back episode of the podcast, and to read more about the top three reasons why weeknights are so challenging…

And thank you so much for listening!

Jun 26, 2018

Today we're talking about safety – just simple safety.

I've got three unconventional ways to help you ensure that your child is safe, in a variety of situations and from the time that they are very small…

For notes on the three ways I share this episode to keep your child safe, and also for every podcast back episode,

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/231

And for podcast extras you will LOVE go to patreon.com/weturnedoutokay...

Thank you so much for listening!

 How to share about today's show

As always, thank you for sharing about We Turned Out Okay!

Today's is the kind of show where somebody might get upset when you say "oh – YOU will get so much benefit," because nobody wants to think that they wouldn't keep their kids safe.

So if you know someone who is notorious for letting their kids run around unattended, or for yelling all the time, here's how to share it:

Post it on a public page, like your Facebook page, and say something like "I got such benefit from this episode of We Turned Out Okay," instead of singling somebody else out.

And thank you so much for sharing! That is how our show has grown and grown : )

Jun 19, 2018

I'm so happy to share

this wonderful conversation with Charlie Hoehn, dad, podcaster, person who helps people publish books, and (most important for our conversation today) author.

Charlie's book, Play It Away, shares his experience with soul-sucking anxiety, and the simple cure he found.

The thing about this cure is, it's something humans all do naturally, and it's as important to us as sleep.

But yet we often grow up and forget how important it is; the lack of this crucial element in Charlie's life is what caused his terrible anxiety.

If you're feeling anxious, you are going to love our conversation.

And if you're not feeling anxious, you'll still love it because it will help you see the importance of this element in your child's life.

Shout out this week to new patrons of We Turned Out Okay: Steve, and Sue, who are supporting WTOO in Patreon and getting access to exclusive content, like EXTRA Magic Words for Parents, and Behind-the-Scenes videos!

You can get these great extras too, just by going to Patreon.com/weturnedoutokay!

This week's Magic Words for Parents video shares a quick phrase you can use to help when your child is feeling overwhelmed by too many choices. Watch by clicking here to join the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group, or by clicking here to watch in YouTube, where there's a whole playlist of Magic Words!

Thank you for listening to today's episode!
Key links and show notes – and THE CUTEST picture of Charlie with his little girl! – at weturnedoutokay.com/230.

Cheers!

Jun 12, 2018

I'm so excited to bring you this week's show, all about timeouts!

  • Also:
    I announce the name of the parenting book I'm working on right now! And I share some exciting news: the introduction to this book is available for you to read, for free, at Patreon.com/weturnedoutokay!
  • This week's Magic Words for Parents video shares a quick phrase you can use to stop your child's begging and whining in stores like Target or food shopping. Watch by clicking here to join the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group, or by clicking here to watch in YouTube, where there's a whole playlist of Magic Words!
  • Thanks to all the We Turned Out Okay Patreon patrons, and shout out to Tiffany, our latest patron! Tiffany's getting some awesome rewards, which you can get too, listen to today's show and go to Patreon.com/weturnedoutokay for more information : )

Do you find that giving a time out

to your young child is an effective way to change that child's behavior?

Maybe you find, as one coaching client of mine does, that timeouts become "a battle of wills" and aren't effective at all.

Maybe your young child runs away from the timeout chair, giggling and leaving you super frustrated…

If so, this is the show for you because today I'm teaching how to effectively discipline your young child!

For notes on today's episode including my 4-step formula for disciplining effectively, as well as to sign up for my 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting live, online class, go to weturnedoutokay.com/229.

Thanks for listening!

Jun 5, 2018

Special thanks to: Nancy, Diane, Ben, and Max, each of whom became patrons of the show in Patreon this week!

They're getting helpful stuff like access to my Patron-only feed, Extra Magic Words for Parents videos, and early access to chapters of parenting books I'm working on right now - plus I'm saying thanks to them in today's episode!

Get GREAT extras and a shout-out in next week's We Turned Out Okay episode! Go to:

Patreon.com/weturnedoutokay 

Speaking of books! This week I'm sharing about four helpful ones for you as you raise your kids.

Next week I'm announcing what my next book will be, so stay tuned :)

 Four must-reads for anyone raising children…

But only one of them is considered a "parenting" book.

These books are game-changers, helping you power through the tough parts of life, frame your day-to-day living differently, and feel happy inside!

For links to each book as well as to sign up for my upcoming 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting free, live, online class, go to weturnedoutokay.com/228.

Thank you so much for listening, I know you'll get a lot from these Fabulous Four!

Jun 2, 2018

For a long time, the podcast was the tool.
Then I wrote Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics – and we had 2 tools.
And now, a little more than three years in, we've got a multitude of tools for parenting and happy family time...

Today's episode is a discussion of some of the best tools, a description of how parents are changing their families' lives by utilizing these tools, and a roadmap so that you know where to find the exact We Turned Out Okay tools you need!

This episode came up because, at the beginning of 2018, a new listener to We Turned Out Okay got in touch with me, and she shared that she had a bad experience listening to the show: to her, listening felt as if I'd taken her to a party where I knew everyone - and she knew no one.

I really took that critique to heart. I've been working ever since to be sure that everything I do makes you, the listener, feel welcomed and included, and that's how we ended up where we are.

The tools I talk about in this episode:

Click here for the podcast page of weturnedoutokay.com

Click here for the We Turned out Okay Facebook group… And click here for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook page

Click here for my YouTube channel, where you'll find the Magic Words for Parents playlist

Click here for the We Turned Out Okay Patreon page where you'll find Extra Magic Words for Parents, access to my patron-only feed, and where you'll be able to read my parenting books long before they are published! Lots of great tools in Patreon : )

Click here for the Ninja Parenting Community, where you'll have access to all of my best parenting tools

Thank you for listening!

Please share this episode if you know a parent who needs some good tools!

May 29, 2018

Picture this: you're in the car, in a parking lot, with your screaming three-year-old and six-month-old.

You're on a call with work, and you've got the call muted so that you can hear what's going on – but your coworkers can't hear the car chaos.

Until one of your coworkers says "Shannon, what do you think?" – and you know that as soon as you unmute the call everyone on it will hear the screaming.

What do you do?

If you are today's guest, you learn from this situation… and you take that learning and make a life with a proper balance between family, and work.

Join me in a great conversation with Shannon Miles, author of The Third Option, all about handling the tough choices that we parents face every day.

Shannon shares a wonderful 3-step process if you're feeling stuck, with a big decision to make.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/227 for notes on this process, and also for the key links that come up during our conversation –

and thank you so much for listening!

PS Shannon asked me to share that the company she and her husband Bryan started is hiring! Click belaysolutions.com if you, or someone you know, might be interested in working for the Mileses : )

May 22, 2018

This episode, we focus on a serious issue.
It's one you may have been wondering about, but not known what to do about – or even if it was a big deal at all:

Does tablet or smartphone use contribute to a child's behavior problems?

We live in this world, which is absolutely filled with tech. The tech doesn't appear to be going anywhere fast… So what's the answer?

Does tablet use contribute to behavior problems?

Listen to today's episode to find out!

For notes on this episode including:

- Three ways to safely use technology with your littles
- The sign-up for the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting FREE online class, which distills everything I've learned into 3 simple lessons for true enjoyment of this parenting life
– Key Links and every back episode of We Turned Out Okay

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/226.

And thank you so much for listening!

May 15, 2018

Maybe you have said to yourself,
when you're watching a parent fail miserably to bring a recalcitrant child under control, "that will NEVER be me. I pride myself on order and discipline in my house!"

Or, maybe you've heard snide comments from teachers or relatives about your child "ruling the roost," and it's frustrating because you don't want to be a disciplinarian. That's not why you had kids, to order them around!

So, which is it? Do you need to be firm? Or do you need to be flexible?

Listen to today's episode to find out!

For notes on this episode including:

- The answer to this dilemma of flexibility vs. firmness
- The sign-up for the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting FREE online class, which distills everything I've learned into 3 simple lessons for true enjoyment of this parenting life
– Key Links and every back episode of We Turned Out Okay

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/225.

Thank you so much for listening!

May 8, 2018

To us grown-ups, summer can mean

headaches caused by heat and humidity, too much time spent in air-conditioning, and unwelcome changes in routine.

Also, the endless application of sunscreen on our littles.

But to kids, just being outside can be a revelation. There's birdsong, and water, and dirt…

Summer is a great time for reconnecting with your child, for truly listening to him or her - for deep, true bonding with this little person you are bringing up.

Does that seem daunting? If you're not sure how to begin, listen to this episode of We Turned Out Okay!

Today, I am excited to interview Sunshine Parenting podcast host Audrey Monke, who has directed a summer camp for more than 30 years.

In that time Audrey has seen it all: extreme homesickness, parental worries, and, again and again, the life-changing magic of summertime.

We tap into her knowledge of how to make summer great, as Audrey shares THE 3 most important things you can do this summer to capture that magic, to truly enjoy the time you spend with your young child.

For TONS of amazing links that come up in today's conversation, as well as to join our We Turned Out Okay private Facebook group (I've got a big announcement in today's episode about something new happening in the group!)…

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/224.
Thanks for listening!

May 1, 2018

As you probably did, I got spanked as a kid.
But, probably unlike you, I became an early childhood educator and lesson one was "we never, EVER spank a child."

Still, it's tempting, especially if it means stopping a behavior that you cannot stand for one more minute.

So, is it ever okay to spank your child? Do you ever do it?

Today – on We Turned Out Okay's THIRD birthday! – we dig into why parents spank kids, the lessons a child learns from being spanked, and what other options we parents have.

WHY Parents Spank Kids
Not surprisingly, spanking doesn't happen when your child's behavior is smooth and easy.

It's when they balk at what you are telling them to do.

When they drag their feet, whine, nag at a sibling until that sibling retaliates.

Spankings happen when we feel that we have been pushed to the absolute brink – when we feel like we have got no other choice.

Take a listen to this episode if you've ever felt like that, especially if you're not quite sure that spanking is what you should be doing, but you don't see any other option.

For notes to today's episode, including:

- A 3-step method you can follow to discipline without spanking
- The sign-up for the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting FREE online class, which distills everything I've learned into 3 simple lessons for true enjoyment of this parenting life
– Key Links and every back episode of We Turned Out Okay

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/223.

Thank you so much for listening!

Apr 22, 2018

Lots of us parents are pretty freaked out by the thought of money,

finances, and all the stuff we don't understand about it.

Ben (my husband and the producer of our show) and I have spent the last year or so confronting our concerns about money, really looking our finances squarely in the face and conquering our fears…

Through this process, we have become more of a team than we were before! Our goals are aligned, each understands the other's priorities better than ever, and we work closely together now to make our dreams come true.

That's why I wanted to go in depth on the subject for you.

I want you to have those same good feelings, and understand that it's possible to conceive of a great future for your child – and to actually start BUILDING that future.

 

What are the 5 most important things for you to remember, when you're thinking about finances and raising kids? Listen to today's episode to find out!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/222 for notes on today's 5 key takeaways, and links to every WTOO episode about parenting and money, so you can really go in depth on this topic!

At the website you'll also find:
– Every back episode of We Turned Out Okay
– The sign-up for our 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting FREE online class
– Links so you can subscribe to the podcast in Apple/iTunes, Spotify, and more

Happy Listening!

Apr 17, 2018

Today's conversation is super special,

because it's with our personal financial planner, Steven Taylor – the man who has helped Ben and I align our goals and begin truly working together to achieve our dreams.

Like many of the best conversations, ours doesn't stick strictly to the subject at hand. It starts off with sports and quickly develops into a meaningful conversation about parenting (Steven is Dad to 3-and 2-year-old boys).…

And soon, it's a full-blown exploration of the best money mindset that parents can have.

Whatever your fears about money, or your approach to financial planning, this conversation will make you feel better.

Thanks so much to Steven for coming on the show, and to you for listening!

Show notes, including lots of great links that came up during our conversation, at weturnedoutokay.com/221

Also there, you'll find the link to sign up for two cool things happening at our local library:

My workshop on how to handle weeknight chaos with little kids (this coming Monday evening, April 23), and Steven's workshop on budgeting, though he prefers the term "spending plan," on Tuesday evening, May 29!

If you can be in Bellingham, Massachusetts for either of these, that would be awesome!

Apr 10, 2018

If we're being honest, who among us has NOT bribed a kid? (Listen to this episode to hear about how we potty trained our youngest… using entire donuts as bribes.)

But is there a better way?

Something we could do to change our child's behavior from bad to good?

Something that would stop us feeling like we're being emotionally blackmailed by our kids?

Listen to today's episode to understand exactly WHY we parents resort to bribery – when it's most likely to happen – and for 3 things we can do instead!

Read more about bribery…
Find every back episode of the We Turned Out Okay podcast…
Sign up for the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting Class…

All at weturnedoutokay.com/220.

Happy listening!

Apr 3, 2018

Working with parents of young children,

one phrase comes up again and again – one really dangerous phrase.

It's dangerous because it perpetuates bad behavior from our kids, which none of us want… Yet, it is really hard not to use it.

You probably use this phrase yourself; I know I have.

Today I share:
– Exactly what the two most dangerous words in a parent's vocabulary are
– Why these words get used so often
What you can say instead for good behavior from your child

Today's episode helps you get past the bad behavior so you can fulfill your ultimate goal of truly enjoying family time!

Read more about these two dangerous words and what to say instead…
Find every back episode of the We Turned Out Okay podcast…
Sign up for the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting Class…
All at weturnedoutokay.com/219.

Happy listening!

Mar 27, 2018

Did you ever wish that you could find just the right book to help your child understand some large issue that you're just not sure how to talk about?

Then today's episode is for you – my guest Ashia Ray runs booksforlittles.com, a website dedicated to helping parents find great books, on every subject.

Listen to find out:
– How to use books to make your parenting life easier and better
– When a book is "age-appropriate"
– Why boring books are dangerous

Read about Ashia's two most important takeaways, and find links to lots of books and other resources at weturnedoutokay.com/218!

Mar 20, 2018

We live in a complicated world, financially speaking, which can seem completely shrouded in mystery to us parents – never mind the kids! What with credit cards, bitcoin, Apple pay, swiping, tapping, and sliding, the value of an actual dollar can get com

Mar 13, 2018

I'm sure you've heard that it costs tons of money to raise a child to the age of eighteen – $233,610 in 2015, according to the Money/CNN report I read in preparing for this episode.

If that number has you freaked out, you are not alone!

But is it really accurate? That's the question we are looking into today.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/216 for key links and the most adorable picture of one of my children; the outfit he's wearing in the photo comes up today. Thanks for listening!

Mar 6, 2018

BOOK GIVEAWAY: today's guest, Raeshal Solomon of mylittlebanker.com, has graciously offered to give one lucky listener a set of her books that teach financial literacy to little kids!
Listen to today's episode to find out how to enter the giveaway : )

Raeshal Solomon comes by her knowledge of how to get out of debt honestly – she's worked hard to rid herself of nearly all her $400,000 debt, while raising two young boys AND living with sickle-cell anemia.

She tells us exactly how she accomplished this incredible feat during today's episode!

Raeshal also shares great ideas for you, if you're trying to work your way out of financial debt, and talks about why she got started writing books on financial literacy for young children.

I know you're going to get so much out of today's episode. Please share with a friend who needs a boost of inspiration today!

Watch a quick, wonderful YouTube video on Raeshal and grab the key links for today's episode at weturnedoutokay.com/215. Thank you for listening!

Feb 27, 2018

"I HATE to yell at you… But you make me do it. It's your fault."
Recently, I spoke with a mom who said that she tells her kids this all the time.

Do you ever feel like this, when your child is giving you crazy attitude ?

Or when your child is whining, or picks a fight with a sibling over absolutely nothing at all?

In short, do you ever feel like you cannot take your child's bad, embarrassing behavior for one more second?

If so, today's episode gives you a ninja tactic that will completely change this dynamic!

If you really care about stopping your children's annoying behavior before it starts, and you really care about not flying off the handle with them… Today's episode shows you how to do it.

Listen in to find out how to do it right!

 

3 Secrets of Happy Parenting:

You know that fear and dread that you feel can about spending time with your young child?

Those hours that drag on, when paradoxically it feels like there is so much to do but also the minutes just creep by, super slowly, moment by agonizing moment?

I am excited to share the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting, which give you the power to overcome that fear and dread and truly enjoy the time you spend with your kids.

Learn these 3 Secrets in my Live, Online Class

So, I know in this episode I say "the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting Minicourse is all ready for you!"
Life interfered this time: I got bronchitis and I'm still recovering…

But what IS ready: the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting Live, Online Class!

The Minicourse is still in production, but in the meantime learn these three secrets while connecting with me live!

By the end of this live, online 40-minute class, you'll know how to make the time you spend with your kids really enjoyable time.

Click the link below for details and to register:
weturnedoutokay.com/secrets

Other key links over at weturnedoutokay.com/214
Thank you so much for listening : )

Feb 20, 2018

Are the frightening and persistent questions of life weighing on you right now?

Today I share the story of my own frightening and persistent question, a real biggie which brought with it a lot of parental guilt – but yet this question simply wouldn't leave me alone…

Today I share how I successfully addressed it, and I introduce a minicourse that can help you address it, too.

This minicourse is all ready for you over at weturnedoutokay.com!

It's called The Three Secrets of Happy Parenting, and today's episode is also the intro to the course.

Sign up by going to weturnedoutokay.com/213!

And thank you so much for listening : )

Feb 13, 2018

So, I got totally sick with bronchitis! I am thankfully on the mend, but I haven't had a voice suitable for radio at all… Which means I'm extra-happy to bring you this great conversation, a listener favorite from 2017.

Early childhood education professors Lisa Daly and Miriam Beloglovsky are in the midst of writing a series of books called Loose Parts, extremely practical books about structuring a kid's environment to eliminate lots of problems, including temper tantrums!

But, I bet that's not how they would describe it… Because while we are eliminating the problems, we are fostering really cool stuff in our children – and THAT is what Loose Parts is really about.

Key links at weturnedoutokay.com/212 – and thank you so much for listening : )

Feb 8, 2018

"I am terrified to stop doing mostly everything and accept help for fear that if I do, my family will resent me." – 2017 Free Friendly Mirror Challenge Participant

Hello my friend, how are you today?

If you're feeling at all like this long-time listener, today's quickie bonus episode shares all about something that will help!

It's my FREE, 5-Day Friendly Mirror Challenge, in which we are working to smile (instead of cringe) when we look in the mirror.

There's a quick little win for you each day of the challenge…

Each day gives you a new opportunity to feel better when you look in the mirror, because you're feeling a new sense of self-acceptance and self-forgiveness.

Sound good

Click here for details and to sign up - the challenge starts this coming Monday with an email into your inbox each day Monday, February 12 through Friday, February 16…

Cheers! And thanks for listening!

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