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The We Turned Out Okay Podcast

What kind of hijinks did you get up to as a kid? Did you climb trees? Did you run around outside barefoot? Did you eat raw cookie dough? Maybe you wanted to do these and other crazy things, but you weren't allowed… Let me ask you this: what if your children wanted to? Would you let them? If you hesitate there, well, you're in the right place. The We Turned Out Okay podcast is where we learn the hows and whys of hovering less and enjoying our young children more. You get to learn from host Karen Lock Kolp's mistakes, but especially from the successes of her guests. Each helpful, lively conversation illustrates why this show really is "The Modern Guide to Old-School Parenting."
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May 2, 2017

What if there was one question you could ask – and the result would be a more harmonious home? (I know, I don't love the word harmonious either, but it really fits here, so I'm sticking with it.)

A harmonious home is one in which the people who live there enjoy each other's company, at least more often than not. Differences are worked out peacefully, everybody's needs are met, and it just feels like a good place to be.

We're looking at how to make that home a reality in the first of a series I'm creating to help you have:
– Less strife at home
– Better relationships, including smoother experiences out in the world with your young child
– Nobody living in your basement when they're thirty

Today is all about the at-home part, digging into how you can have a more harmonious home.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/154 for the show notes and key links – including the sign-up button for our upcoming NPC FAQ Q&A on Wednesday, May 10th, 2017 at 1 PM EST!

Apr 27, 2017

Today, a listener question about kids and bad language:

"My four-year-old has picked up some bad language from other kids in her class. How should I deal with being called "dog face"!!

This can seem like a puzzle to which we parents just don't have the answer. If you're feeling like that, listen in! In today's episode I share how to prepare for when your child throws something like this that you – and how to handle it in the moment.

For full show notes, including an easy-to-remember plan in answer to listener Nicola's full question, and the button to download my How to Handle Every Temper Tantrum guide, go to weturnedoutokay.com/153!

Apr 25, 2017

Rarely am I speechless – in life or podcasting – but today's guests took my breath away with their observations of real young adults who grew up without open-ended play in their lives.

Lisa Daly and Miriam Beloglovsky, authors and professors, know a lot about how easy it is for a child growing up today to have zero practical knowledge. It's because their lives were spent preparing for, and taking, tests.

Now as adults, these young people score really well on tests… But cannot accomplish simple tasks such as using screwdriver. Imagine not having the mechanical knowledge to use a screwdriver!

Thankfully, Daly and Beloglovsky spend their days teaching tomorrow's teachers, and have a wonderful go-around for this burgeoning problem. And, it is burgeoning – more and more young people leave high school without any practical knowledge, move out into the world looking really well-prepared on paper, but lacking competence and confidence in many key areas of their lives.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/152 for show notes and key links to this mind-blowing conversation with two thoughtful, engaged people!

Apr 18, 2017

Recently I spoke with a mom to 2- and 4-year-old girls. Her youngest is just starting to push back (as all 2-year-olds do) – and she's pushing back some times really disrespectfully!

Shouting "no!"

Sometimes lashing out.

Refusing, disrespectfully, to do what her mom needs her to do.

Sound familiar? That's why we're including this subject in the Common Parenting Challenges series!

Find out how to handle it when your child is disrespectful by clicking weturnedoutokay.com/151, where you'll find show notes and key links – including the sign up to the free, live wrap-up to the Common Parenting Challenges series, happening Thursday, April 20, 2017 at 8 PM EST!

Apr 13, 2017

We're going big-picture today, talking about Einstein's idea that "the most important question facing humanity is, "is the universe a friendly place?"

Our answer to this question shapes how our children will answer this question; if we feel surrounded by enemies, so will our sons and daughters. Is that what we really want for them?

Or, do we want our children to feel themselves surrounded by friends?

For full show notes – and to sign up for next week's free, online, interactive class, Common Parenting Challenges and How to Handle Each, go to weturnedoutokay.com/150!

Apr 11, 2017

Today's episode – which has some swears, please listen away from your kids or with headphones – is one I've been working on putting together for a really long time: in it, a corporate lawyer, a midwife, and I sit down in a roundtable and discuss 3 topics really relevant to you, one chosen by each of us.

Corporate lawyer and mom-of-2 Angela Gregory lived down the street from us until just a few years ago, and has been a great role model for me about how to follow your passion as the family breadwinner and support your loved ones as the kids grow up.

Midwife and mom in a blended family of five children Dina Fraize has also been a great role model, showing how to embrace the chaos in a large family and raise thoughtful, engaged young men.

We've been friends now for years, since our kids were pretty small, and I know you're going to get so much out of our conversation! Or should I say, conversations… this is part two of 2 roundtables because we just had so much to talk about.

Today's topics: stay-at-home dads, the benefits of unconventional (read: "weird") parenting, and raising kids to do what they love – even if you can't see how that might be useful later.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/149 for show notes and key links, including the sign-up for my upcoming free, live online class in how to alleviate Common Parenting Challenges!

Apr 4, 2017

"When [my young daughter] is being impatient or persistent about doing something: at this age, how would I teach her to be patient?"

When listener Sherif asked this question recently, I knew it had to be part of the Common Parenting Challenges series!

Sherif asks some really pertinent follow-up questions:
– Is that possible at this age?
– Should I just distract her with something else?
– Should I stand my ground which will make her upset?
– If I give in to what she wants, is this teaching her how to always get her way?

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/148 to learn how to teach patience to your young child – and to sign up for the upcoming free, live Common Parenting Challenges online class, coming up Thursday, April 20!

Mar 30, 2017

Back in episode 140, parenting author KJ Dell'Antonia gave us many more great ideas than could be digested in one conversation… So for the first time in We Turned Out Okay history she's got 3 Your Child Explained episodes all to herself!

In our conversation KJ commented: "after a month we get tired of nagging, "… it's easier just to load this dishwasher myself…" and then we do - and then we're back to square one."

Today: the one thing you can do in your parenting that makes everything else either easier or unnecessary! (Can you tell I've been reading The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan?)

Click weturnedoutokay.com/147 to to listen, to sign up for tonight's (Thursday, March 30, 2017, 8 PM EST) live, free NPC FAQ Q&A (at which you can grab a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, my e-book that helps you handle everything your little kids can throw at you) AND to sign up for the free, live Common Parenting Challenges class coming up in April!

Mar 28, 2017

Today's episode – which has some swears, please listen away from your kids or with headphones – is one I've been working on putting together for a really long time: in it, a corporate lawyer, a midwife, and I sit down in a roundtable and discuss 3 topics really relevant to you, one chosen by each of us.

Corporate lawyer and mom-of-2 Angela Gregory lived down the street from us until just a few years ago, and has been a great role model for me about how to follow your passion as the family breadwinner and support your loved ones as the kids grow up.

Midwife and mom in a blended family of five children Dina Fraize has also been a great role model, showing how to embrace the chaos in a large family and raise thoughtful, engaged young men.

We've been friends now for years, since our kids were pretty small, and I know you're going to get so much out of our conversation! Or should I say, conversations… this is part one of 2 roundtables because we just had so much to talk about.

Up for discussion today: how to not raise a-holes, The French Toast Alert System and how the culture of fear really messes with parents of young children, and making sure sure that we don't put the wrong kinds of pressure on our young kids!

Click weturnedoutokay.com/146 for show notes and key links, including sign-up links to two upcoming free, live online classes I'm teaching: 1) the FAQ Q&A about the Ninja Parenting Community coming up THIS Thursday, March 30 and where you can get a free copy of my parenting book, Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics and 2) the Common Parenting Challenges class coming up April 20!

Mar 21, 2017

"My four-year-old daughter is fine with our schedule a lot of the time. But sometimes she rejects it altogether! How can I make it so she's going along?"

Recently I spoke with a mom who shared 3 key parenting struggles; I knew that you'd be struggling (most likely, anyway) with the same stuff, so I've put together a series of Common Parenting Challenges based on our conversation.

Today, we dig into scheduling!

Sometimes kids really rail against a schedule of any kind. How to help? Listen to today's episode : )

Click weturnedoutokay.com/145 for complete show notes and key links – including "Helping Marla Streamline Busy Mornings" episode 82, and to sign up for two things: the upcoming free, live NPC FAQ Q&A on March 30, 8 PM EST (where you can get a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics); and the free, live Common Parenting Challenges class on Thursday night April 20, 8 PM EST!

Mar 16, 2017

A few weeks ago, in episode 140, guest KJ Dell'Antonia dropped so many knowledge bombs that I knew we'd need more than one Your Child Explained to really comprehend them all.

Here's part 2 of 3 – all about homework and how to intervene when your child can't take anymore!

Click weturnedoutokay.com/144 for show notes, links to last fall's homework episode and conversation with the president of the American Academy of Pediatrics – and to sign up for the free, live NPC FAQ Q&A I'm hosting Thursday night, March 30 at 8 PM EST (where you can grab your free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, the book that helps you handle every challenge your kids throw at you!)

Mar 14, 2017

"How do I keep my kids safe online? How do I keep my devices safe from hackers?"

If you've ever asked yourself either of these questions, you are going to love today's episode.

Today's guest, Rich Stearman, president of the web design company Ashdown Technologies, addresses these issues and lots more on the show!

Ben, our boys, and I have been really close with Rich, his wife Kathy, and their boys for decades – since before either of us couples had any kids, in fact.

Rich is our go-to guy for technology questions; I asked him onto the show so that he can be your go-to guy as well! (At least for the length of this episode : )

True to form, our conversation ranges far and wide, and there's a lot more great parenting information in here than merely about technology.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/143 for key links and to listen!

Mar 7, 2017

You don't want your kids to have any more screen time – and your spouse plops them in front of the tube. You know that giving in to a temper tantrum is the fastest route to more, and longer, temper tantrums; yet your spouse gives in again and again.

Sound familiar?

Today we talk all about how to handle when your spouse isn't on the same page (and your page is the right page).

Recently while talking with a mom of 2 young girls, some pretty major - and common - parenting issues came up. I knew that, if this mom is struggling with these issues, that you probably are as well!
Hence our series: Common Parenting Challenges. Join us during the March and April Just You and Me episodes as we address these parenting challenges one by one!

Read the show notes, get the How to Handle Every Temper Tantrum guide, and listen to the show by going to https://weturnedoutokay.com/142!

Mar 2, 2017

During Tuesday's guest conversation, mom and author KJ Dell'Antonia shared the results of a pretty big (1000-person) survey of parents she commissioned as research for her upcoming book.

The thing that parents worry about most?
"Discipline," KJ shares.

Discipline enters into many aspects of our parenting lives.

It's firmness in enforcing rules; consistency in keeping routines established; being good models for our children.

During our conversation, I share a lesson taught to me long ago, in my first years of teaching, about "not moving our kids' walls."

KJ was so taken with this idea that she quotes me in her blog this week!

Click weturnedoutokay.com/141 to listen, and to read about how moving our children's walls creates the bad behavior we really don't want to see.

Feb 28, 2017

Today's guest didn't set out to be a writer. But after getting her law degree and being a practicing attorney for six years, she made a discovery: law just wasn't her thing; instead, she found, she was a writer.

In the spirit of finding stuff out through writing, KJ Dell'Antonia began freelancing about motherhood; she's written for Slate magazine, Parenting magazine, Parents magazine, and many others. She is now a contributing editor and columnist on the Well Family page at the New York Times, and currently on book leave to write – what else? – a book that's going to help us be happier in our parenting.

KJ shares where her research for this as-yet-unnamed parenting book is taking her, and you're going to be thrilled because she's investigating all the problems that you are most likely currently living with!

To find out how to handle getting your kids to do more around the house, how to help with homework, and how to be a part of KJ's chores project (i.e.: getting your kids to do more chores) click weturnedoutokay.com/140!

Feb 21, 2017

When listener Marcy wrote recently, asking for help with her son, whom "counselors and therapists believe may be suffering from depression and anxiety," and the decision to either keep him in school or pull him out to homeschool, I initially thought I'd answer her question in a Your Child Explained episode, and address the school-homeschool decision.

On reflection, however, I saw something bigger in Marcy's question and decided to focus this Just You and Me episode on the bigger issue: how to help when a child is anxious or depressed.

Kids can be anxious and/or depressed for any number of reasons.

As parents, even if we are not completely sure what's causing the worries and anxiety, it's our job to do everything we can to help.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/139 to read Marcy's full question and the three ways I identify to help, as well as links to other helpful resources!

Feb 16, 2017

I've been really wanting to do a show on potty training, but I've held back for a few reasons: one biggie is that I just haven't found a great book on the subject, and another is that my experience potty training my oldest was really tough!

But recently I heard from listener Erika, who had this to say:
"I have to have the most stubborn child on the planet and have tried everything I can think of. Rewards, candy, bribes, consequences, charts, toys, reverse psychology. I am out of ideas and at my wits end."

Erika goes on to say that her son has twice been completely potty trained – and has regressed. She's very worried because he will start kindergarten in the fall and she's concerned about the social aspects of that, harassment by other kids, etc.…

Very similar, in fact, to how I was feeling when my oldest was totally not into potty training!

And so today we take on possibly one of the biggest, scariest subjects in all of parenting young children…

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/138 for show notes and to listen to this episode!

Feb 14, 2017

Lots of things can happen over the course of a day to make us all feel anxious…How does your child handle anxiety? 

Today licensed mental health counselor, play expert, and mom-to-2 Janine Halloran gives us some wonderful – and very specific – tools to help our kids handle stress.

True to the nature of We Turned Out Okay, my hour-long conversation with Janine covers lots more than this! Janine and her family are spending the year in California, clear across the country from their home in Massachusetts; we talk about how and why the Hallorans took on this move. We also dig into the concept of fidgets, devices to help people concentrate better – and this podcaster realizes that fidgets are more of a thing – in her own life – then she realized.

To read about Janine's stress-busting advice, get links to some great books about play and her websites on encouraging play and teaching children coping skills, and to listen to the show click weturnedoutokay.com/137!

Feb 9, 2017

As a podcaster who helps you advocate better for your young children, I meet and hear from an awful lot of you who are… Unhappy. Stuck. Sinking under all your worries and fears for your children – and awfully hard on yourselves.

In January I did two episodes about goal-setting and affirmations, and I shared about one particular life-changing exercise I've done every night for more than a year: speaking to myself in the mirror.

That idea resonated with a lot of you – but you had a hard time imagining how to begin, or even believing you could really speak to yourself in your own mirror.

So I've created a free, 10-Day challenge… I called it The Friendly Mirror because I do hope that, by the end of the challenge, you'll be doing this exercise too.

Maybe you think that self-acceptance and self-forgiveness are fine for other people, but not for you (I know I used to feel this way.)

I work with a lot of moms and dads who struggle with this – and the struggle 100% affects their parenting, and thus their kids.

If you need a kick in the pants – or a guide into the world of not scowling in the mirror – then sign up for my free Friendly Mirror 10-day challenge!

The Challenge will be conducted via video modules and a live interactive training session; specifically, each day for 10 days you'll get the latest video module, sometimes with a mini-assignment to complete if you choose. We'll wrap up with a live training session to answer your questions and work on keeping our great momentum going...

Click here to sign up!

Or – click here to go to the private Facebook group I've set up for our challenge.

Or, click here to sign up for the challenge on the post for this special announcement.

I really hope you'll join the challenge!

Feb 7, 2017

Maybe you think that self-acceptance and self-forgiveness are fine for other people, but not for you (I know I used to feel this way.)

I work with a lot of moms and dads who struggle with this – and the struggle 100% affects their parenting, and thus their kids.

If you need a kick in the pants – or a guide into the world of not scowling in the mirror – then sign up for my free Friendly Mirror 10-day challenge!

The Challenge will be conducted via video modules and a live interactive training session; specifically, each day for 10 days you'll get the latest video module, sometimes with a mini-assignment to complete if you choose. We'll wrap up with a live training session to answer your questions and work on keeping our great momentum going...

Click here to sign up!

The idea of goals is really resonating with y'all right now, judging from my inbox, Facebook page, and podcast download statistics…
Today we spend a little bit more time on this track, when I extend on listener Eri's question about how the ability to accept and forgive ourselves impacts our children.

Each night for a little over a year, I have had a very specific conversation.

In the mirror, with myself.

Today I teach you exactly how to have that conversation – and why it's so important.

For key links including to the books I reference in today's episode, for written directions to the nightly mirror conversation, and to listen go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/136!

Feb 2, 2017
Remember a few weeks ago, when I got emotional about talking to myself in the mirror every night? (Listen to that episode, We Turned Out Okay's second annual goal-setting episode, by clicking here.)
 
If you struggle with self-acceptance and self-forgiveness – and if you also want to be a better example for your child – click this link to listen to today's episode! You can read the full text of listener Eri's question about how her struggle with self-acceptance could negatively impact her 14-month-old daughter – as well as watch my new favorite YouTube video in which a preschool-age girl stands on her bathroom vanity and cheerfully shouts affirmations for herself in the mirror – and sign up for tonight's live FAQ about the Ninja Parenting Community by clicking this link:
Jan 31, 2017

Diving into the archives of We Turned Out Okay, and finding wonderful shows like this one which you may not have heard before (and will get something out of even if you have heard it already), seems like a fitting start to a new year.

My guest today, Gift of Failure author Jessica Lahey, has helped me in so many ways: to be a better mom, to forgive myself when I screw up, to take the long view on mistakes, thinking not so much about epic fails but instead asking myself "how do I learn from this?" (Jess is also 1/2 of the #amwriting with Jess and KJ duo; click here to check out one of my favorite podcasts, and great if you have any interest in writing or creating!)

I know you'll learn a lot from our conversation today, thanks for tuning in!

Today's show is brought to you by the Ninja Parenting Community:

If you like what you hear on We Turned Out Okay, but you feel like it's not quite enough…
If you want more personal help and advice from me…
The Ninja Parenting Community is the place for you to get that help!

– We've got classes, like Sanity With Kids, to help you simultaneously raise your children and retain your sanity
– Parent-Coaching calls: one "starter" call for monthly members and one each quarter for annual members
– Forums where I personally help and advise members – and where we all support each other

Now is the perfect time to join, because you get beta pricing and it's really built out to help you most.
This coming Friday the cost will double when we leave beta, so click this link to see what it's all about!

Want a closer look PLUS a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, the book I wrote to help you handle everything your child can throw at you?

Come to the live NPC FAQ Q&A!
This coming Thursday night, February 2, at 8 PM EST you can:
look inside the community
listen as I address lots of frequently asked questions
ask your questions!

And just for showing up at the Q&A you'll receive a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics! Up until now the book has only been available in Amazon – get it for free at the Q&A : )

To sign up for the NPC FAQ Q&A – and for notes to today's show, go to weturnedoutokay.com/134!

Jan 24, 2017

Just about a year ago, on the Flipped Lifestyle podcast, co-host Shane Sams asked me if what I do here at We Turned Out Okay is to teach people how to combat their kids' "evil Jedi mind tricks" – which I thought was such a great definition!

In the last few weeks my family and I saw and loved Rogue 1, and also mourned the loss of Carrie Fisher; it seems fitting to talk about all that with you today, sharing two great ways to combat your child's Jedi mind tricks.

Want a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, the book I wrote to help you handle everything your child can throw at you?

Come to the live NPC FAQ Q&A!
This coming Thursday night, February 2, at 8 PM EST you can:
look inside the Ninja Parenting Community
listen as I address lots of frequently asked questions
ask your questions!

And just for showing up at the Q&A you'll receive a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics! Up until now the book has only been available in Amazon – get it for free at the Q&A : )

To sign up for the NPC FAQ Q&A – and for notes to today's show, go to weturnedoutokay.com/133!

Jan 19, 2017

Today's show asks the question: how can I help you go to bat for your child?

It's easier to think about standing up for our children that it is, oftentimes, for us to stand up for ourselves.

But sometimes – especially when an authority figure like a doctor or a teacher is doing the pushing – it can be hard to know how to stand up for our children.

Today's show is brought to you by the Ninja Parenting Community:

Are you raising little kids and feeling overwhelmed?

Could you use some accountability and support?

Join us inside our membership community to get access to:
– courses, like the one I just finished up, called Sanity With Kids, helping you stay sane while simultaneously raising children
– live, members-only calls
– direct feedback on how to get through your toughest challenges
– the support of a community where were all working to worry less and enjoy more while raising kids!

We leave beta very soon, because the community is really built out now with course offerings and great forums, so get in before the price goes up!

Click this link or go to weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login to get all the details –

Click weturnedoutokay.com/132 for lots of links, and enjoy today's show!

Jan 17, 2017

Diving into the archives of We Turned Out Okay, and finding wonderful shows like this one which you may not have heard before (and will get something out of even if you have heard it already), seems like a fitting start to a new year.

Today's guest, along with his wife and children, have been special people in my family's life ever since we had the excellent luck of moving in across the street from them more than a decade ago.

We've watched Steve Mirando and his wife Sue support each other through a lot – having children, figuring out work-life challenges, Steve's going to full-time school for acupuncture and then hanging out his shingle as a practicing acupuncturist… many of these all happening at the same time!

I know you'll learn a lot from our conversation today, thanks for tuning in!

Today's show is brought to you by the Ninja Parenting Community:

Are you raising little kids and feeling overwhelmed?

Could you use some accountability and support?

Join us inside our membership community to get access to:
– courses, like the one I just finished up, called Sanity With Kids, helping you stay sane while simultaneously raising children
– live, members-only calls
– direct feedback on how to get through your toughest challenges
– the support of a community where were all working to worry less and enjoy more while raising kids!

We leave beta very soon, because the community is really built out now with course offerings and great forums, so get in before the price goes up!

Click this link or go to weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login to get all the details –

And for notes to today's show, go to weturnedoutokay.com/131!

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