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The We Turned Out Okay Podcast

What kind of hijinks did you get up to as a kid? Did you climb trees? Did you run around outside barefoot? Did you eat raw cookie dough? Maybe you wanted to do these and other crazy things, but you weren't allowed… Let me ask you this: what if your children wanted to? Would you let them? If you hesitate there, well, you're in the right place. The We Turned Out Okay podcast is where we learn the hows and whys of hovering less and enjoying our young children more. You get to learn from host Karen Lock Kolp's mistakes, but especially from the successes of her guests. Each helpful, lively conversation illustrates why this show really is "The Modern Guide to Old-School Parenting."
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Feb 6, 2018

Today we've got help for you, if you're feeling extremely cooped up in these dark months of the year (for the northern hemisphere, anyway)!

I went to the members of the Ninja Parenting Community and the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group to find out how they beat the winter blahs…

This episode is a compendium of their best ideas!
Thank you everyone who contributed, there were some new ones in here that even I didn't know about : )

Key links – including the sign-up for the upcoming FREE Friendly Mirror Challenge – at weturnedoutokay.com/211 – thank you for listening!

Jan 30, 2018

Do you sometimes feel that you will drown in a sea of bad news, bad weather, bad everything?

I know I do… and right here at the beginning of the year I am sharing the ways that I have found to stay positive, even while floating on this sea.

Listen to today's episode so that we can stay positive together!

Key links – and there are a TON today – at weturnedoutokay.com/210. Thank you for listening : )

Jan 23, 2018

Today's guest has a new book out, The Toddler Survival Guide, that I know you'll love because it is practical, funny, and endearing.

And, as soon as I heard author Heather Spohr's voice on the day of our interview, I knew that it would also be those three things… But it turned out to be a lot more.

We talk about Princess Leia, potty training – and grief. Heather and her husband Mike lost a child to illness, when their daughter was just three years old, and what I love about Heather is her ability to share about the tough stuff while staying extremely positive.

So, listen for the laughs, listen for the connection, and read Heather's new book to remember that you are not alone, if you are (or have ever been) the parents of toddlers.

But also listen for Heather's description of the support that a strong community brings, whether real-world or virtual.

Key links at weturnedoutokay.com/209 – and thank you for listening!

Jan 16, 2018

In my recent conversation with Mental Health Counselor and Play Specialist Janine Halloran, we talked about the outrageously high rates of suspensions and expulsions in preschools nationwide.

And one listener wrote soon after to share her child's experience in preschool:

"Such an interesting podcast and alarming pre-K statistics. I can say we saw an opposite thing happening… Several kids were overly aggressive with minimal consequences… My child was being bullied by these aggressive children to the point of not wanting to go to school."

Listener Jessica was kind enough to let me share her thoughts with you, and address her concerns, which might be your concerns as well, in today's episode.

What comes out of it is the realization that many preschool policies on discipline are way out of whack with what kids really need to learn – both the bullies, and the bullied  - to get along in this world.

Key links at weturnedoutokay.com/208, and thanks for listening!

Jan 9, 2018

Every January since We Turned Out Okay began, I've shared my goals for the coming year. Not resolutions… which feel to me a little more arbitrary and easier to pull out of… but Goals.

And this year is no exception!

Somehow the idea of glass balls and rubber balls (one of which breaks when dropped, and the other of which bounces) felt really important to share with you, probably because I'm returning from major burnout and got it because I dropped a glass ball, my "health" ball.

So listen in to find out more about glass/rubber balls, the goals I've set and why I set them, and what this year's One Word is!

Notes and links at weturnedoutokay.com/207!

Jan 2, 2018

Happy new year!! Next week we'll work on making 2018 be the best year yet – but part of that is looking back at 2017.

Today I'm sharing the three most valuable lessons I learned from 2017, a year that many listeners characterized as pretty awful, but one that held many valuable lessons for me – and in many ways was a good and fun year too.

I also share some changes I've made to the podcast schedule, based largely on the horrific burnout I experienced in December… It's tough to be helpful to you as you work to have a happy family life when I am so frazzled, when I'm attempting to pour from an empty cup.

To keep being able to help you, I've made some changes, and I'm sharing about them today. Click weturnedoutokay.com/206 to read about them!

Dec 26, 2017

In which we discuss favorite episodes, Karen's, and Listeners'…

The family dynamics of introverts versus extroverts; the joy and learning that comes with Loose Parts; falling down and getting back up again; a profound and hilarious potty training story.

All links at weturnedoutokay.com/205

Happy listening and Happy New Year!!

Dec 21, 2017

On the day I recorded this episode, late last week in real time, I had a moment, at about 10 AM, where I realized I ought to be in about three different places… All at exactly 10 AM.

That's when my heart started racing.

Then, when I looked around my home and realized all that still wasn't quite done, or not even started yet… and then I realized I was still in my pajamas… The complete and total futility of the season slammed into my brain.

As I've often said on the show, that was "Mom Karen" – Time to go and get some advice from Podcast Karen!

So, I dropped everything and recorded this show about dealing with burnout.

And I just want to give a special thanks in here for thirteen-year-old Jason Kolp (who shares great advice about how to help children with their fears, back in episode 193). He's the one who really helped me figure out what to focus on first.

He told me to go and help you, which is exactly what I did.

I hope this episode helps you, as much as it helped Mom Karen : )

For a quickie breakdown of the three steps to alleviating burnout, plus key links and to watch the video I made about handling holiday kid craziness, go to weturnedoutokay.com/204. Happy listening!

Dec 19, 2017

Today's guest, returning champion KJ Dell'Antonia of the #AmWriting with Jess and KJ Podcast, brings her best ideas for how you can really enjoy this time of year, no matter what craziness you've got going on in your life.

The WTOO annual Parent Holiday Survival Guide goes Beyond Audio in 2017

Each year I bring you resources I know you'll love as you figure out how to enjoy the holidays. This year I'm psyched because not only do I have audio resources for you, to listen while you drive on endless errands, bake endless cookies, or wrap endless gifts… I've got video and Facebook live offerings to help you handle the holidays as well!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/203 for key links, including:
– KJ's Happier Parent Holiday Survival Guide PDF
– The We Turned Out Okay Facebook group
– The Latest how-to video ("How to handle holiday kid craziness")
– Lots more resources to help you handle the holidays!

Dec 17, 2017

Are you, like lots of your fellow listeners, noticing a certain unhappiness creeping in to your daily life? A sense of insanity that you cannot escape from? Overwhelm at all the stuff you've got to do in pretty short amount of time, and getting shorter every day?

Then you should join the free 5-Day Handle the Holidays Challenge.

It starts tomorrow if you're listening in real time – Monday, December 18 – and in today's quickie bonus episode I share some reasons why listeners are joining…

I also share a little story about burnout, right here in my own life.

Thanks for listening!

Sign-ups for the Handle the Holidays challenge end TONIGHT. Don't miss out!
Click the link below to join
weturnedoutokay.com/funDecember

Dec 12, 2017
In today's episode I tell a story about a woman who once sat at a table full of loved ones, watched some of these loved ones manipulate her child, and feel completely powerless to help.
 
Maybe you've found yourself in a similar situation:
 – You understand that holiday gatherings include some degree of etiquette and civil niceties

 – But sometimes these people – these dear relatives, friends, loved ones – can push our buttons and set off our children.They can really wake the Mama/Papa Bear in each of us.

Sometimes we can feel truly helpless in handling complex social situations, and this time of year, we see A LOT of loved ones, magnifying the problem.

 
Today's episode is all about how to handle that type of situation!
 
Listen to learn the ninja tactic of getting control of a situation, especially involving your child, and especially in the public setting of a family/friend gathering, where everything can feel so contentious.
 
It's the first in this year's Holiday Parenting Survival Guide...
Key links at weturnedoutokay.com/202. Happy listening!
Dec 7, 2017

In today's episode with 3-time returning champion Janine Halloran, the conversation goes in all kinds of useful directions, many of which I did not see coming!

Listen to learn more about:
– Big Feelings, the ones Janine says "feel like you can't contain them in your body"
– How to stop engaging in the all-too-common and dangerous parenting ploy, "positively invalidating" our kids' feelings
– Whether your young child is lucky, or unlucky, in the expression of feelings (and the HUGE difference this can make in a child's life)

The Handle the Holidays FREE 5-Day Challenge, designed to help you cut through the BS and really enjoy this time of year, starts in just over a week!
With daily emails that will give you a series of quick wins beamed into your inbox each day of the challenge, and a Facebook live in our private We Turned Out Okay Facebook group on the last day (Friday, December 22, 2017), you'll have a whole new outlook on how to really enjoy these last days of 2017!
Click here to participate in one of WTOO's favorite listener rituals – the challenge – and feel better about the holidays at the same time!

Key links at weturnedoutokay.com/201 – happy listening!

Dec 5, 2017

Ermagerrrd, Episode 200!!

It is fitting that this particular episode is with a guest who specializes in helping families tell stories – really, in helping people preserve their family legacies.

Nicola Davison, mom

, biographer, and journalist, has hit upon an idea that really resonated with me, so I know it will resonate with you: engaging our parents and grandparents to tell their stories, and to get your kids involved for a multigenerational understanding of where we come from, and how we got here.

Speaking of "how we got here," I couldn't let episode 200 go by without talking about how WE got HERE.

And in talking about THAT, we can't help but discuss how to get where we want to go, and how to help our kids do the same.

Thank you for sticking with me for 200 episodes! It's an honor to be in your ears, and even more so when you tell a friend about the show, or go to my contact page to share a story or question.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/200 to sign up for the upcoming FREE 5-Day Handle the Holidays Challenge and for the key links Nicola and I talk about this episode. Happy listening!

Nov 28, 2017

I'm kicking off the holiday season insanity with an episode that is counter-intuitively meta-level… And I promise, there will be time for more practical ideas before the end of the year.

But this one is special, something I've wanted to talk about on the show for a while now, regarding how easy it is for us to step all over our children's dreams, both their short-term, heart's-desire hopes, and the long-term big, passionate ideas.

Recently I read something that helped me realize: there are three really good reasons to support our kids in their dreams.

One of these reasons is for their own safety.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/199 for key links, and happy listening!

Last Day to Join the Streamline Your Whole Life 21-Day Challenge!

If you want to:
– Handle afterschool activities, bedtime routines, and homework like a ninja parent
– Work better with everyone who looks after your child
– Deal with the time crunches and scheduling issues that come with the parenting job
– Feel better within yourself

This challenge will help you SO much.

Streamline your whole life during these 21 days (which begin as soon as you join, no need to wait at all), work closely with me on your toughest parenting conundrums, and feel like a new person at the end!

I'm running a holiday season special, so you get the benefit of the challenge at half off the normal cost… But the special ends TODAY Tuesday, November 28.

Click here for details and to sign up for the Streamline Your Whole Life 21-Day Challenge!

Questions? Get answers on my contact page : )

Nov 26, 2017

If you want to:
– Handle afterschool activities, bedtime routines, and homework like a ninja parent
– Work better with everyone who looks after your child
– Deal with the time crunches and scheduling issues that come with the parenting job
– Feel better within yourself

I've got a 21-day challenge to help you!

Streamline your whole life during these 21 days (which begin as soon as you join, no need to wait at all), work closely with me on your toughest parenting conundrums, and feel like a new person at the end!

I'm running a holiday season special, so you get the benefit of the challenge at half off the normal cost… But only for a few more days, the special ends Tuesday, November 28.

Click here for details and to sign up for the Streamline Your Whole Life 21-Day Challenge!

Questions? Get answers on my contact page : )

Nov 23, 2017

Happy Thanksgiving!

At first glance this may seem a peculiar episode for Thanksgiving Day… parenting through tough times? While for many people holidays are a wonderful time, for some they're difficult.

Dealing with family members who disagree with your politics; protecting your kids from cheek-pinching, insult-comic-style aged relatives; feeling like you have to justify your life choices – these and more can make it pretty tough.

Today's parent ninja tactics are going to be awesome for your Thanksgiving table if any of the above is coming into play for you… But they're even better, even more important to keep in mind, if you are going through some kind of a crisis.

Like a friend of mine, who is going through a tough time – and who asked me to do an episode on how best to handle parenting through crisis.

So whether you are dealing with something momentous in your life, or you are just concerned about how to make it through the day without smacking somebody, this one is for you!

Need more help than I can offer with the podcast?
I'm opening up the Streamline Your Whole Life 21-Day Challenge, which gives you a quick win every day for three whole weeks!

Make your evenings less chaotic, build better relationships with your child's caregivers, and feel happier within yourself – and work closely with me for a whole month – when you join.
Click here for details and to sign up for the Streamline Your Whole Life 21-Day Challenge!

Key links at weturnedoutokay.com/198. Happy listening!

Nov 21, 2017

This is one conversation I have been SUPER excited to bring you for a really long time!

During my talk with Ignore It! author Dr. Catherine Pearlman, a.k.a. The Family Coach, she answers listener questions, talks about what works to stop bullying, and most importantly comes up with tons of ways that you can curb your child's bad behavior and REALLY enjoy life with your kids to the fullest.

Key links at weturnedoutokay.com/197 – happy listening!

Nov 14, 2017

A podcast listener wrote to me recently with a a really good and important question:

"We see all kinds of ways for girls to deal with being assaulted, how to prevent it, how to heal, support groups and the like… How do we teach boys to keep their hands to themselves or what not to say?" She's got a two-year-old boy and she does not want him to grow up into harasser or an abuser.

I based this episode on the awesome and wonderful responses I got when I asked this listener's question on my Facebook page.

In today's episode identify 4 key steps we as parents need to take in order to raise children who both do not grow up to be harassers or abusers, and who successfully resist being harassed or abused.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/196 to see these steps written down, and for key links!

Nov 9, 2017

Today is one of my very favorite kinds of shows, a Parent-Coaching Call with an NPC member!

– – A HUGE tree fell in our yard during a buck wild nor'easter last week, and we lost power for days! (Click here to check out the video I made of the tree!) All back now and everything is okay… But I had to delay the start of our epic "How to Help Your Child Navigate the Choppy Social Waters of Life Without Getting Pulled Under Yourself or Losing Your Mind" mastercourse.
The first live module now goes up on Tuesday, November 14, giving you until Monday, November 13 to enroll!
If you can't make it to the modules live, you'll always be able to catch them in our password-protected online classroom - plus ask questions over the whole 6 weeks of the mastercourse in our private Survive the Social Stuff Facebook group, exclusively for those enrolled in the course.…
To learn more and sign up go to weturnedoutokay.com/socialstuff! – –

In each parent-coaching call, NPC members disclose their struggles and I put my years of experience with young children and degrees in early childhood education and human development/family relations to work, figuring out exactly what steps will help most (and fastest).
It's an exclusive benefit for members of my private coaching community, and the great thing is that even if you're not a member, you get answers to mind-bending parenting conundrums as well!

Here are the issues that Jen is seeing with her 5-and 3-year-old daughters:
1) What to do about endless whining, when all the tools in the toolbox have been tried – redirection is not working, making no sound like yes is not working, and her head is about ready to explode?

2) What to do when the girls take one or two bites out of an apple and then want to throw the rest of the apple away, or similar food conundrums, usually having to do with snacks, especially those that "don't portion out well"

If either of these seems familiar, you are going to LOVE this episode.

NPC members: view the expanded notes and action steps – and read about how Jen did with these issues – by clicking here (just remember you must be logged in to view).
Not a member of the Ninja Parenting Community? Click here.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/195 key links : )

Nov 7, 2017

– – A HUGE tree fell in our yard during a buck wild nor'easter last week, and we lost power for days! (Click here to check out the video I made of the tree!) All back now and everything is okay… But I had to delay the start of our epic "How to Help Your Child Navigate the Choppy Social Waters of Life Without Getting Pulled Under Yourself or Losing Your Mind" mastercourse.
The first live module now goes up on Tuesday, November 14, giving you until Monday, November 13 to enroll!
If you can't make it to the modules live, you'll always be able to catch them in our password-protected online classroom - plus ask questions over the whole 6 weeks of the mastercourse in our private Survive the Social Stuff Facebook group, exclusively for those enrolled in the course.…
To learn more and sign up go to weturnedoutokay.com/socialstuff! – –

Today's conversation is one of those awesome ones that went in a completely different direction than I had thought it would.
I knew we were going to talk about racism, and parenting, and how New York Times best-selling author Joshilyn Jackson teaches creative writing to prisoners – but when, early on in our conversation, Joshilyn shared "I didn't have any empathy until I became a mom," my heart just stopped.

How could that possibly be, I wondered?

And so we raced off into a discussion that will help you understand empathy as a crucial parenting skill, perhaps the most important ninja tactic of all.

You are going to LOVE it.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/194 for key links : )

Nov 2, 2017

It's agonizing to watch your child go through the social stuff of life.

You know what I'm talking about:
When you spend your days stopping angry sibling fights, as if you were a boxing referee.
When one of them gets made fun of at school – or worse, bullied.
When they get broken up with by a friend.
When they have a crush on a fellow eight-year-old and say to you "who could love a face like this?"

If your heart breaks or you feel shellshocked when something like this happens, you are not alone.

I'm offering a new approach that gives you the power to support your child, set aside your inner demons, and be happier in your parenting.
It's a new 6-week mastercourse, and it changes everything:

How to Help Your Child Navigate the Choppy Social Waters of Life Without Losing Your Mind or Getting Pulled Under Yourself
Click the course title or go to weturnedoutokay.com/socialstuff to learn more…

Space is Limited!! Sign up now to save your spot – LOTS of listeners struggle with the social stuff and spots will go fast!

The course starts this coming Tuesday, November 7…
And you can go to the course's secret Facebook group immediately upon registering and paying!

You'll learn:
– How to help your child navigate the social landscape
– Strategies for helping your child stand up to a bully, deal with sibling rivalry, and gain social confidence and competence
– Why your agony and heartbreak over your child's struggles may be hurting him or her socially
– How to feel better within yourself while helping your child feel better

Come get started on this new approach right away –
Sign up now!

Oct 31, 2017

Today, I answer a listener question about how to buckle in a squirming child who doesn't want to be in a car seat. And then I tackle something that makes us all squirm…

The unhappy social stuff in our kids' lives.

You know what I'm talking about:
When you spend your days stopping angry sibling fights, as if you were a boxing referee.
When one of them gets made fun of at school – or worse, bullied.
When they get broken up with by a friend.
When they have a crush on a fellow eight-year-old and say to you "who could love a face like this?"

If your heart breaks – or you feel shellshocked – when something like this happens, you are not alone.

You need to learn about the new approach that gives you the power to support your child, set aside your inner demons, and be happier in your parenting.
This new 6-week mastercourse changes everything:

How to Help Your Child Navigate the Choppy Social Waters of Life Without Losing Your Mind or Getting Pulled Under Yourself
Click the course title or go to weturnedoutokay.com/socialstuff to learn more…

Space is Limited!! Sign up now to save your spot – LOTS of listeners struggle with the social stuff and spots will go fast!

The course starts this coming Tuesday, November 7…
And you can go to the course's secret Facebook group immediately upon registering and paying!

Come get started on this new approach right away –
Sign up now!

Find out how to handle squirmy social stuff in today's episode and go to weturnedoutokay.com/193 for key links.

Oct 26, 2017

Listen to today's episode for a quick and easy way to cut down on your child's bad behavior : )

– – – New Course Offering: It's agonizing to watch your child go through the social stuff of life; getting called a mean name or crybaby; getting "broken up with" by a friend, encountering sibling strife. It upsets us parents because 1) our heart breaks for our beautiful child, and 2) we don't know what to do to help..
I'm offering something new and different that will create a new opportunity for you:
The Surviving the Social Stuff course. It's tailored to participants' needs, so whatever social stuff is going on in your child's life – THAT'S what you'll learn how to handle.
It's super helpful as we get into the high-emotion holidays, with weekly class meetings starting Tuesday, November 7 and running right through into January.
Space is limited!!
So, if you're struggling with anything social in your child's life, Click Here to sign up..
Then you'll be feeling less alone and learning new ways to Survive the Social Stuff! – – –

For key links, go to weturnedoutokay.com/192!

Oct 24, 2017

Each fall as the nights get longer and Halloween gets close, spooky feelings crop up. They can be fun, but for kids these feelings also be downright frightening.

Today I'm excited to bring you my conversation with my youngest, Jason, who remembers well the feeling of being afraid of the dark and shares really great advice for helping your kids cope with their fears.

We talk about all kinds of Halloweeny stuff, and also:
– Einstein's view of the world
– Why validating a kid's fears is the gateway to helping them feel less afraid
– Jay's all-important question:
"How does pretending an avocado is alive show a mastery of empathy?"

… Just to give you an idea of the kind of conversations we have around here : )

Key links, including the one about Surviving the Social Stuff, the course that will help you feel less alone AND help your child navigate scary social waters, at weturnedoutokay.com/191!

Oct 21, 2017

Sexually abused at age 7, I consider myself not a victim, but a survivor.
In today's bonus episode, brought on by the #MeToo movement, I share the most important tool in my healing – and the conviction that, if you or a loved one has been sexually abused or harassed, there is help and hope for a good life (even a great one).

Click here for key links, and please consider sharing this episode if you feel like it will help somebody in your life feel better. Thanks, and thanks for listening!

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