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The We Turned Out Okay Podcast

What kind of hijinks did you get up to as a kid? Did you climb trees? Did you run around outside barefoot? Did you eat raw cookie dough? Maybe you wanted to do these and other crazy things, but you weren't allowed… Let me ask you this: what if your children wanted to? Would you let them? If you hesitate there, well, you're in the right place. The We Turned Out Okay podcast is where we learn the hows and whys of hovering less and enjoying our young children more. You get to learn from host Karen Lock Kolp's mistakes, but especially from the successes of her guests. Each helpful, lively conversation illustrates why this show really is "The Modern Guide to Old-School Parenting."
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Now displaying: Page 3
Mar 16, 2017

A few weeks ago, in episode 140, guest KJ Dell'Antonia dropped so many knowledge bombs that I knew we'd need more than one Your Child Explained to really comprehend them all.

Here's part 2 of 3 – all about homework and how to intervene when your child can't take anymore!

Click weturnedoutokay.com/144 for show notes, links to last fall's homework episode and conversation with the president of the American Academy of Pediatrics – and to sign up for the free, live NPC FAQ Q&A I'm hosting Thursday night, March 30 at 8 PM EST (where you can grab your free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, the book that helps you handle every challenge your kids throw at you!)

Mar 14, 2017

"How do I keep my kids safe online? How do I keep my devices safe from hackers?"

If you've ever asked yourself either of these questions, you are going to love today's episode.

Today's guest, Rich Stearman, president of the web design company Ashdown Technologies, addresses these issues and lots more on the show!

Ben, our boys, and I have been really close with Rich, his wife Kathy, and their boys for decades – since before either of us couples had any kids, in fact.

Rich is our go-to guy for technology questions; I asked him onto the show so that he can be your go-to guy as well! (At least for the length of this episode : )

True to form, our conversation ranges far and wide, and there's a lot more great parenting information in here than merely about technology.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/143 for key links and to listen!

Mar 7, 2017

You don't want your kids to have any more screen time – and your spouse plops them in front of the tube. You know that giving in to a temper tantrum is the fastest route to more, and longer, temper tantrums; yet your spouse gives in again and again.

Sound familiar?

Today we talk all about how to handle when your spouse isn't on the same page (and your page is the right page).

Recently while talking with a mom of 2 young girls, some pretty major - and common - parenting issues came up. I knew that, if this mom is struggling with these issues, that you probably are as well!
Hence our series: Common Parenting Challenges. Join us during the March and April Just You and Me episodes as we address these parenting challenges one by one!

Read the show notes, get the How to Handle Every Temper Tantrum guide, and listen to the show by going to https://weturnedoutokay.com/142!

Mar 2, 2017

During Tuesday's guest conversation, mom and author KJ Dell'Antonia shared the results of a pretty big (1000-person) survey of parents she commissioned as research for her upcoming book.

The thing that parents worry about most?
"Discipline," KJ shares.

Discipline enters into many aspects of our parenting lives.

It's firmness in enforcing rules; consistency in keeping routines established; being good models for our children.

During our conversation, I share a lesson taught to me long ago, in my first years of teaching, about "not moving our kids' walls."

KJ was so taken with this idea that she quotes me in her blog this week!

Click weturnedoutokay.com/141 to listen, and to read about how moving our children's walls creates the bad behavior we really don't want to see.

Feb 28, 2017

Today's guest didn't set out to be a writer. But after getting her law degree and being a practicing attorney for six years, she made a discovery: law just wasn't her thing; instead, she found, she was a writer.

In the spirit of finding stuff out through writing, KJ Dell'Antonia began freelancing about motherhood; she's written for Slate magazine, Parenting magazine, Parents magazine, and many others. She is now a contributing editor and columnist on the Well Family page at the New York Times, and currently on book leave to write – what else? – a book that's going to help us be happier in our parenting.

KJ shares where her research for this as-yet-unnamed parenting book is taking her, and you're going to be thrilled because she's investigating all the problems that you are most likely currently living with!

To find out how to handle getting your kids to do more around the house, how to help with homework, and how to be a part of KJ's chores project (i.e.: getting your kids to do more chores) click weturnedoutokay.com/140!

Feb 21, 2017

When listener Marcy wrote recently, asking for help with her son, whom "counselors and therapists believe may be suffering from depression and anxiety," and the decision to either keep him in school or pull him out to homeschool, I initially thought I'd answer her question in a Your Child Explained episode, and address the school-homeschool decision.

On reflection, however, I saw something bigger in Marcy's question and decided to focus this Just You and Me episode on the bigger issue: how to help when a child is anxious or depressed.

Kids can be anxious and/or depressed for any number of reasons.

As parents, even if we are not completely sure what's causing the worries and anxiety, it's our job to do everything we can to help.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/139 to read Marcy's full question and the three ways I identify to help, as well as links to other helpful resources!

Feb 16, 2017

I've been really wanting to do a show on potty training, but I've held back for a few reasons: one biggie is that I just haven't found a great book on the subject, and another is that my experience potty training my oldest was really tough!

But recently I heard from listener Erika, who had this to say:
"I have to have the most stubborn child on the planet and have tried everything I can think of. Rewards, candy, bribes, consequences, charts, toys, reverse psychology. I am out of ideas and at my wits end."

Erika goes on to say that her son has twice been completely potty trained – and has regressed. She's very worried because he will start kindergarten in the fall and she's concerned about the social aspects of that, harassment by other kids, etc.…

Very similar, in fact, to how I was feeling when my oldest was totally not into potty training!

And so today we take on possibly one of the biggest, scariest subjects in all of parenting young children…

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/138 for show notes and to listen to this episode!

Feb 14, 2017

Lots of things can happen over the course of a day to make us all feel anxious…How does your child handle anxiety? 

Today licensed mental health counselor, play expert, and mom-to-2 Janine Halloran gives us some wonderful – and very specific – tools to help our kids handle stress.

True to the nature of We Turned Out Okay, my hour-long conversation with Janine covers lots more than this! Janine and her family are spending the year in California, clear across the country from their home in Massachusetts; we talk about how and why the Hallorans took on this move. We also dig into the concept of fidgets, devices to help people concentrate better – and this podcaster realizes that fidgets are more of a thing – in her own life – then she realized.

To read about Janine's stress-busting advice, get links to some great books about play and her websites on encouraging play and teaching children coping skills, and to listen to the show click weturnedoutokay.com/137!

Feb 9, 2017

As a podcaster who helps you advocate better for your young children, I meet and hear from an awful lot of you who are… Unhappy. Stuck. Sinking under all your worries and fears for your children – and awfully hard on yourselves.

In January I did two episodes about goal-setting and affirmations, and I shared about one particular life-changing exercise I've done every night for more than a year: speaking to myself in the mirror.

That idea resonated with a lot of you – but you had a hard time imagining how to begin, or even believing you could really speak to yourself in your own mirror.

So I've created a free, 10-Day challenge… I called it The Friendly Mirror because I do hope that, by the end of the challenge, you'll be doing this exercise too.

Maybe you think that self-acceptance and self-forgiveness are fine for other people, but not for you (I know I used to feel this way.)

I work with a lot of moms and dads who struggle with this – and the struggle 100% affects their parenting, and thus their kids.

If you need a kick in the pants – or a guide into the world of not scowling in the mirror – then sign up for my free Friendly Mirror 10-day challenge!

The Challenge will be conducted via video modules and a live interactive training session; specifically, each day for 10 days you'll get the latest video module, sometimes with a mini-assignment to complete if you choose. We'll wrap up with a live training session to answer your questions and work on keeping our great momentum going...

Click here to sign up!

Or – click here to go to the private Facebook group I've set up for our challenge.

Or, click here to sign up for the challenge on the post for this special announcement.

I really hope you'll join the challenge!

Feb 7, 2017

Maybe you think that self-acceptance and self-forgiveness are fine for other people, but not for you (I know I used to feel this way.)

I work with a lot of moms and dads who struggle with this – and the struggle 100% affects their parenting, and thus their kids.

If you need a kick in the pants – or a guide into the world of not scowling in the mirror – then sign up for my free Friendly Mirror 10-day challenge!

The Challenge will be conducted via video modules and a live interactive training session; specifically, each day for 10 days you'll get the latest video module, sometimes with a mini-assignment to complete if you choose. We'll wrap up with a live training session to answer your questions and work on keeping our great momentum going...

Click here to sign up!

The idea of goals is really resonating with y'all right now, judging from my inbox, Facebook page, and podcast download statistics…
Today we spend a little bit more time on this track, when I extend on listener Eri's question about how the ability to accept and forgive ourselves impacts our children.

Each night for a little over a year, I have had a very specific conversation.

In the mirror, with myself.

Today I teach you exactly how to have that conversation – and why it's so important.

For key links including to the books I reference in today's episode, for written directions to the nightly mirror conversation, and to listen go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/136!

Feb 2, 2017
Remember a few weeks ago, when I got emotional about talking to myself in the mirror every night? (Listen to that episode, We Turned Out Okay's second annual goal-setting episode, by clicking here.)
 
If you struggle with self-acceptance and self-forgiveness – and if you also want to be a better example for your child – click this link to listen to today's episode! You can read the full text of listener Eri's question about how her struggle with self-acceptance could negatively impact her 14-month-old daughter – as well as watch my new favorite YouTube video in which a preschool-age girl stands on her bathroom vanity and cheerfully shouts affirmations for herself in the mirror – and sign up for tonight's live FAQ about the Ninja Parenting Community by clicking this link:
Jan 31, 2017

Diving into the archives of We Turned Out Okay, and finding wonderful shows like this one which you may not have heard before (and will get something out of even if you have heard it already), seems like a fitting start to a new year.

My guest today, Gift of Failure author Jessica Lahey, has helped me in so many ways: to be a better mom, to forgive myself when I screw up, to take the long view on mistakes, thinking not so much about epic fails but instead asking myself "how do I learn from this?" (Jess is also 1/2 of the #amwriting with Jess and KJ duo; click here to check out one of my favorite podcasts, and great if you have any interest in writing or creating!)

I know you'll learn a lot from our conversation today, thanks for tuning in!

Today's show is brought to you by the Ninja Parenting Community:

If you like what you hear on We Turned Out Okay, but you feel like it's not quite enough…
If you want more personal help and advice from me…
The Ninja Parenting Community is the place for you to get that help!

– We've got classes, like Sanity With Kids, to help you simultaneously raise your children and retain your sanity
– Parent-Coaching calls: one "starter" call for monthly members and one each quarter for annual members
– Forums where I personally help and advise members – and where we all support each other

Now is the perfect time to join, because you get beta pricing and it's really built out to help you most.
This coming Friday the cost will double when we leave beta, so click this link to see what it's all about!

Want a closer look PLUS a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, the book I wrote to help you handle everything your child can throw at you?

Come to the live NPC FAQ Q&A!
This coming Thursday night, February 2, at 8 PM EST you can:
look inside the community
listen as I address lots of frequently asked questions
ask your questions!

And just for showing up at the Q&A you'll receive a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics! Up until now the book has only been available in Amazon – get it for free at the Q&A : )

To sign up for the NPC FAQ Q&A – and for notes to today's show, go to weturnedoutokay.com/134!

Jan 24, 2017

Just about a year ago, on the Flipped Lifestyle podcast, co-host Shane Sams asked me if what I do here at We Turned Out Okay is to teach people how to combat their kids' "evil Jedi mind tricks" – which I thought was such a great definition!

In the last few weeks my family and I saw and loved Rogue 1, and also mourned the loss of Carrie Fisher; it seems fitting to talk about all that with you today, sharing two great ways to combat your child's Jedi mind tricks.

Want a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, the book I wrote to help you handle everything your child can throw at you?

Come to the live NPC FAQ Q&A!
This coming Thursday night, February 2, at 8 PM EST you can:
look inside the Ninja Parenting Community
listen as I address lots of frequently asked questions
ask your questions!

And just for showing up at the Q&A you'll receive a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics! Up until now the book has only been available in Amazon – get it for free at the Q&A : )

To sign up for the NPC FAQ Q&A – and for notes to today's show, go to weturnedoutokay.com/133!

Jan 19, 2017

Today's show asks the question: how can I help you go to bat for your child?

It's easier to think about standing up for our children that it is, oftentimes, for us to stand up for ourselves.

But sometimes – especially when an authority figure like a doctor or a teacher is doing the pushing – it can be hard to know how to stand up for our children.

Today's show is brought to you by the Ninja Parenting Community:

Are you raising little kids and feeling overwhelmed?

Could you use some accountability and support?

Join us inside our membership community to get access to:
– courses, like the one I just finished up, called Sanity With Kids, helping you stay sane while simultaneously raising children
– live, members-only calls
– direct feedback on how to get through your toughest challenges
– the support of a community where were all working to worry less and enjoy more while raising kids!

We leave beta very soon, because the community is really built out now with course offerings and great forums, so get in before the price goes up!

Click this link or go to weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login to get all the details –

Click weturnedoutokay.com/132 for lots of links, and enjoy today's show!

Jan 17, 2017

Diving into the archives of We Turned Out Okay, and finding wonderful shows like this one which you may not have heard before (and will get something out of even if you have heard it already), seems like a fitting start to a new year.

Today's guest, along with his wife and children, have been special people in my family's life ever since we had the excellent luck of moving in across the street from them more than a decade ago.

We've watched Steve Mirando and his wife Sue support each other through a lot – having children, figuring out work-life challenges, Steve's going to full-time school for acupuncture and then hanging out his shingle as a practicing acupuncturist… many of these all happening at the same time!

I know you'll learn a lot from our conversation today, thanks for tuning in!

Today's show is brought to you by the Ninja Parenting Community:

Are you raising little kids and feeling overwhelmed?

Could you use some accountability and support?

Join us inside our membership community to get access to:
– courses, like the one I just finished up, called Sanity With Kids, helping you stay sane while simultaneously raising children
– live, members-only calls
– direct feedback on how to get through your toughest challenges
– the support of a community where were all working to worry less and enjoy more while raising kids!

We leave beta very soon, because the community is really built out now with course offerings and great forums, so get in before the price goes up!

Click this link or go to weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login to get all the details –

And for notes to today's show, go to weturnedoutokay.com/131!

Jan 10, 2017

This early in the new year, everyone is thinking about resolutions and how to keep them; today, I'm asking you to think a little bit differently about resolutions – in fact, I'm asking you to not even use the word "resolution!"

I prefer the shorter, less-charged "goals."

Goals can be short-term, medium-term, or long… And the goals we choose for ourselves today don't just help us; the goals we choose and start working toward today help our children as well.

In our second-annual show about goals, I share mine, I share how I did with last year's, and I ask you to share yours with me! (Which you can do by going to weturnedoutokay.com/contact.)

Today's show is brought to you by the Ninja Parenting Community… If you're raising little kids and feeling overwhelmed; if you could use some accountability and support –

Join us inside our membership community, and get access to:
– courses like the one I just finished up, Sanity With Kids
– live, members-only calls
– direct feedback on how to get through your toughest challenges
– the support of a community where we're all working to worry less and enjoy more while raising our kids
– beta pricing – but only for a little while… we leave beta very soon, so you want to get in before the price goes up!
Click here to check out Ninja Parenting Community, I hope to see you in the forums!

To read my goal setting report card, and for key links I talk about in this episode (including to the awesome podcast #amwriting with Jess and KJ, and last year's goalsetting episode), click weturnedoutokay.com/130!

Jan 5, 2017

In our first Your Child Explained episode of the new year, listener Jennifer asks:

"When my boys says, "that's for boys" or "girls can't do that," is there more I could do than simply replying "you know, girls can do everything boys can do…"

The short answer: yes, there is lots more we can do to foster the gender identities of our sons and daughters.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/129 for show notes and key links from this episode!

Also - are you feeling overwhelmed in your parenting?
Check out the Ninja Parenting Community, for expert advice about how to handle anything your kids throw at you!
We've got training courses – like the Sanity With Kids course, about staying sane even while raising kids – exclusive members-only calls, vibrant forums, and lots of ways to feel better.
Click here to check out the community, I hope to see you in the forums!

Jan 3, 2017

Maybe you know the symptoms: tummy aches, excessive temper tantrums and stubbornness, crying over everything and over an extended period of time.

If your child shows some of these elements, and it's freaking you out, how do you know what is wrong? And if you can figure that out – how do you help your son or daughter make it right?

In this rebroadcasting of a great conversation from early in 2016, mom and educational facilitator Amy Anderson helps us answer these big, hairy questions.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/128 to listen; weturnedoutokay.com/contact with questions or comments; and here to get personal help with your biggest, scariest child-rearing issues!

Dec 27, 2016

The story I tell today really happened. The year I was nine, we headed up to Montréal from our home in New England to spend the Christmas holidays with our extended family as usual.

But this trip was anything except for "usual!"

It took us more than 54 hours to complete the trip – which normally takes 8-hours – and included many harrowing moments as my mom tried desperately to get herself and us 3 kids safely to her once-a-year time with the family she loved and missed so much.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/127 for links to WGBH studios – where I was invited to tell this story live on stage – and to Mass Mouth, the awesome Massachusetts storytelling organization!

Are you feeling overwhelmed in your parenting?
Check out the Ninja Parenting Community, for expert advice about how to handle anything your kids throw at you!
We've got training courses – like the Sanity With Kids course, about staying sane even while raising kids – exclusive members-only calls, vibrant forums, and lots of ways to feel better.
Click here to check out the community, I hope to see you in the forums!

Dec 22, 2016

Today I'm asking the question: "what matters most… To your kids?"

It's something I've been thinking about since speaking with Jonathan Fields, this past Tuesday's guest.

Through his Good Life Project podcast, Jonathan has been a HUGE mentor of mine. Tuesday we found out who some of Jonathan's mentors are; one turns out to be Milton Glaser, a man who helped Jonathan realize the value of structuring your life so that you prioritize the things that matter most.

What mattered most to Jonathan: time with his wife and their daughter.

This dovetails nicely with what matters most to our kids: it's the time we spend with them.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/126 for full show notes and key links – enjoy the show!

Dec 20, 2016

I've been a huge fan of Jonathan Fields' Good Life Project podcast for over a year now; the guests, subject matter, and message have been instrumental in my life and We Turned Out Okay.

So, when Jonathan accepted my invitation to come on my show, I did a happy dance! (I was already doing one anyway… Jonathan's book, How to Live A Good Life, came out right around the time of our conversation : )

If you're trying to figure out how to survive these next weeks – if you're feeling overwhelmed, and not as joyful as the season suggests you should – you are going to love the show.

Also - are you feeling overwhelmed in your parenting?
Check out the Ninja Parenting Community, for expert advice about how to handle anything your kids throw at you!
We've got training courses – like the Sanity With Kids course, about staying sane even while raising kids – exclusive members-only calls, vibrant forums, and lots of ways to feel better.
Click here to check out the community, I hope to see you in the forums!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/125 for show notes and key links!

Dec 15, 2016

I'm cranking up the mic for two reasons today:

1) listening back to episode 123, where Ninja Parenting Community member Sabrina shared her concerns about holiday overwhelm and helping her girls handle gift-giving, I wanted to create something to help you if you're facing those same problems…

So, I did! Download the FREE 3 Principles of Kids and Gifts if you want help:
– cutting through the gift giving insanity and overwhelm
– finding solutions that work for your whole family – including you.
– Truly enjoying celebrations, with less stress

Click this link to download them today and make the most of the season!

2) an article I read in the paper today, two Saturdays before Christmas eve, really got me thinking about a problem unique to the family gatherings we will all be attending this year. The article reads in part:
"But some non-Trump voters are not yet in a place where they can joke.
That includes [a Dad who shall remain nameless, because he represents a great many people listening today] and his family. This year they will not go to his wife's great aunt's Christmas gathering, in large part for fear of an argument breaking out in front of their 6-year-old daughter.
"She doesn't understand why people like this person, said [this Dad], referring to Trump, "and to explain to her that people in her own family like this person – it would be a lot for her to process."
– "Can The Holidays Be Happy?" The Boston Globe, Saturday, December 10th, 2016

In the wake of that article, I'm wondering: how are you?

Are you worrying about attending family gatherings this year, when it all feels so contentious?

I really hope this episode helps you, if that's the case. Click here to get the full show notes and key links!

Dec 13, 2016

Recently I did an episode called How to Help Kids Cope with Anxiety Over New Situations, episode 117 – and it got near-record downloads.

In episode 117, we helped Melissa figure out how to help her kids handle new situations better – and even how to handle new situations better herself.

(Episode 117 is a recording of a coaching call with a Ninja Parenting Community member – if you want to become a member of our community and get all your parenting questions answered, click here.)

The amount of downloads made me realize something: Melissa is not the only one listening with some anxiety over new situations!

Today, I dig into the idea of anxiety, especially when travel and extended family are involved.

Recorded in December, I hope this episode helps you prepare for year-end gatherings and holiday celebrations.

If you're listening after the holidays, it will still be helpful because new situations happen all the time, we parents often expose our kids to new situations, even outside of this season.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/124 for full show notes and key links. I hope this episode helps you!

Dec 8, 2016

Today, Ninja Parenting Community member Sabrina shares about the concerns she's having right now: how to manage her children's expectations, everyone's feelings of overwhelm – and balancing her own needs with the needs of her family.

Recorded in early December, Sabrina has both a daughter's birthday coming up as well as the busy and overwhelming-in-and-of-itself holiday season.

Sabrina got to have this conversation with me because she is a member of our Ninja Parenting Community.
If you want my help sorting out your toughest parenting issues, you should join too!
We've got training courses – like the Sanity With Kids course, about staying sane even while raising kids – exclusive members-only calls, vibrant forums, and lots of ways to feel better.
Click here to check out the community, I hope to see you in the forums!

Click weturnedoutokay.com/123 for show notes and key links!

Dec 6, 2016

Are you feeling overwhelmed in your parenting?
Check out the Ninja Parenting Community, for expert advice about how to handle anything your kids throw at you!
We've got training courses – like the Sanity With Kids course, about staying sane even while raising kids – exclusive members-only calls, vibrant forums, and lots of ways to feel better.
Click here to check out the community, I hope to see you in the forums!

You may know Jocelyn and Shane Sams from their entrepreneurial podcast, Flipped Lifestyle… "Where Life Always Comes Before Work." This fun and inspirational couple has figured out a way to make their living online, thus spending more time on the important stuff – like raising their 7 and 5-year-old kids!

Today's conversation does not get into entrepreneurship at all, except in talking about how this duo functions as a team – without, in their words, "killin' each other."

It does, however, share Shane and Jocelyn's best tips for enjoying your relationships – with work, family, and those closest to you.

Our conversation is in turns hilarious (as in when Shane describes his "safety wipe" potty training method), and tender (I nearly named this episode "love is a verb," I was so moved when Shane and Jocelyn brought up this concept.)

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/122 for full show notes and key links – and enjoy listening. I know you're going to love this one!

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