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The We Turned Out Okay Podcast

What kind of hijinks did you get up to as a kid? Did you climb trees? Did you run around outside barefoot? Did you eat raw cookie dough? Maybe you wanted to do these and other crazy things, but you weren't allowed… Let me ask you this: what if your children wanted to? Would you let them? If you hesitate there, well, you're in the right place. The We Turned Out Okay podcast is where we learn the hows and whys of hovering less and enjoying our young children more. You get to learn from host Karen Lock Kolp's mistakes, but especially from the successes of her guests. Each helpful, lively conversation illustrates why this show really is "The Modern Guide to Old-School Parenting."
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Feb 7, 2017

Maybe you think that self-acceptance and self-forgiveness are fine for other people, but not for you (I know I used to feel this way.)

I work with a lot of moms and dads who struggle with this – and the struggle 100% affects their parenting, and thus their kids.

If you need a kick in the pants – or a guide into the world of not scowling in the mirror – then sign up for my free Friendly Mirror 10-day challenge!

The Challenge will be conducted via video modules and a live interactive training session; specifically, each day for 10 days you'll get the latest video module, sometimes with a mini-assignment to complete if you choose. We'll wrap up with a live training session to answer your questions and work on keeping our great momentum going...

Click here to sign up!

The idea of goals is really resonating with y'all right now, judging from my inbox, Facebook page, and podcast download statistics…
Today we spend a little bit more time on this track, when I extend on listener Eri's question about how the ability to accept and forgive ourselves impacts our children.

Each night for a little over a year, I have had a very specific conversation.

In the mirror, with myself.

Today I teach you exactly how to have that conversation – and why it's so important.

For key links including to the books I reference in today's episode, for written directions to the nightly mirror conversation, and to listen go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/136!

Feb 2, 2017
Remember a few weeks ago, when I got emotional about talking to myself in the mirror every night? (Listen to that episode, We Turned Out Okay's second annual goal-setting episode, by clicking here.)
 
If you struggle with self-acceptance and self-forgiveness – and if you also want to be a better example for your child – click this link to listen to today's episode! You can read the full text of listener Eri's question about how her struggle with self-acceptance could negatively impact her 14-month-old daughter – as well as watch my new favorite YouTube video in which a preschool-age girl stands on her bathroom vanity and cheerfully shouts affirmations for herself in the mirror – and sign up for tonight's live FAQ about the Ninja Parenting Community by clicking this link:
Jan 31, 2017

Diving into the archives of We Turned Out Okay, and finding wonderful shows like this one which you may not have heard before (and will get something out of even if you have heard it already), seems like a fitting start to a new year.

My guest today, Gift of Failure author Jessica Lahey, has helped me in so many ways: to be a better mom, to forgive myself when I screw up, to take the long view on mistakes, thinking not so much about epic fails but instead asking myself "how do I learn from this?" (Jess is also 1/2 of the #amwriting with Jess and KJ duo; click here to check out one of my favorite podcasts, and great if you have any interest in writing or creating!)

I know you'll learn a lot from our conversation today, thanks for tuning in!

Today's show is brought to you by the Ninja Parenting Community:

If you like what you hear on We Turned Out Okay, but you feel like it's not quite enough…
If you want more personal help and advice from me…
The Ninja Parenting Community is the place for you to get that help!

– We've got classes, like Sanity With Kids, to help you simultaneously raise your children and retain your sanity
– Parent-Coaching calls: one "starter" call for monthly members and one each quarter for annual members
– Forums where I personally help and advise members – and where we all support each other

Now is the perfect time to join, because you get beta pricing and it's really built out to help you most.
This coming Friday the cost will double when we leave beta, so click this link to see what it's all about!

Want a closer look PLUS a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, the book I wrote to help you handle everything your child can throw at you?

Come to the live NPC FAQ Q&A!
This coming Thursday night, February 2, at 8 PM EST you can:
look inside the community
listen as I address lots of frequently asked questions
ask your questions!

And just for showing up at the Q&A you'll receive a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics! Up until now the book has only been available in Amazon – get it for free at the Q&A : )

To sign up for the NPC FAQ Q&A – and for notes to today's show, go to weturnedoutokay.com/134!

Jan 24, 2017

Just about a year ago, on the Flipped Lifestyle podcast, co-host Shane Sams asked me if what I do here at We Turned Out Okay is to teach people how to combat their kids' "evil Jedi mind tricks" – which I thought was such a great definition!

In the last few weeks my family and I saw and loved Rogue 1, and also mourned the loss of Carrie Fisher; it seems fitting to talk about all that with you today, sharing two great ways to combat your child's Jedi mind tricks.

Want a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, the book I wrote to help you handle everything your child can throw at you?

Come to the live NPC FAQ Q&A!
This coming Thursday night, February 2, at 8 PM EST you can:
look inside the Ninja Parenting Community
listen as I address lots of frequently asked questions
ask your questions!

And just for showing up at the Q&A you'll receive a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics! Up until now the book has only been available in Amazon – get it for free at the Q&A : )

To sign up for the NPC FAQ Q&A – and for notes to today's show, go to weturnedoutokay.com/133!

Jan 19, 2017

Today's show asks the question: how can I help you go to bat for your child?

It's easier to think about standing up for our children that it is, oftentimes, for us to stand up for ourselves.

But sometimes – especially when an authority figure like a doctor or a teacher is doing the pushing – it can be hard to know how to stand up for our children.

Today's show is brought to you by the Ninja Parenting Community:

Are you raising little kids and feeling overwhelmed?

Could you use some accountability and support?

Join us inside our membership community to get access to:
– courses, like the one I just finished up, called Sanity With Kids, helping you stay sane while simultaneously raising children
– live, members-only calls
– direct feedback on how to get through your toughest challenges
– the support of a community where were all working to worry less and enjoy more while raising kids!

We leave beta very soon, because the community is really built out now with course offerings and great forums, so get in before the price goes up!

Click this link or go to weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login to get all the details –

Click weturnedoutokay.com/132 for lots of links, and enjoy today's show!

Jan 17, 2017

Diving into the archives of We Turned Out Okay, and finding wonderful shows like this one which you may not have heard before (and will get something out of even if you have heard it already), seems like a fitting start to a new year.

Today's guest, along with his wife and children, have been special people in my family's life ever since we had the excellent luck of moving in across the street from them more than a decade ago.

We've watched Steve Mirando and his wife Sue support each other through a lot – having children, figuring out work-life challenges, Steve's going to full-time school for acupuncture and then hanging out his shingle as a practicing acupuncturist… many of these all happening at the same time!

I know you'll learn a lot from our conversation today, thanks for tuning in!

Today's show is brought to you by the Ninja Parenting Community:

Are you raising little kids and feeling overwhelmed?

Could you use some accountability and support?

Join us inside our membership community to get access to:
– courses, like the one I just finished up, called Sanity With Kids, helping you stay sane while simultaneously raising children
– live, members-only calls
– direct feedback on how to get through your toughest challenges
– the support of a community where were all working to worry less and enjoy more while raising kids!

We leave beta very soon, because the community is really built out now with course offerings and great forums, so get in before the price goes up!

Click this link or go to weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login to get all the details –

And for notes to today's show, go to weturnedoutokay.com/131!

Jan 10, 2017

This early in the new year, everyone is thinking about resolutions and how to keep them; today, I'm asking you to think a little bit differently about resolutions – in fact, I'm asking you to not even use the word "resolution!"

I prefer the shorter, less-charged "goals."

Goals can be short-term, medium-term, or long… And the goals we choose for ourselves today don't just help us; the goals we choose and start working toward today help our children as well.

In our second-annual show about goals, I share mine, I share how I did with last year's, and I ask you to share yours with me! (Which you can do by going to weturnedoutokay.com/contact.)

Today's show is brought to you by the Ninja Parenting Community… If you're raising little kids and feeling overwhelmed; if you could use some accountability and support –

Join us inside our membership community, and get access to:
– courses like the one I just finished up, Sanity With Kids
– live, members-only calls
– direct feedback on how to get through your toughest challenges
– the support of a community where we're all working to worry less and enjoy more while raising our kids
– beta pricing – but only for a little while… we leave beta very soon, so you want to get in before the price goes up!
Click here to check out Ninja Parenting Community, I hope to see you in the forums!

To read my goal setting report card, and for key links I talk about in this episode (including to the awesome podcast #amwriting with Jess and KJ, and last year's goalsetting episode), click weturnedoutokay.com/130!

Jan 5, 2017

In our first Your Child Explained episode of the new year, listener Jennifer asks:

"When my boys says, "that's for boys" or "girls can't do that," is there more I could do than simply replying "you know, girls can do everything boys can do…"

The short answer: yes, there is lots more we can do to foster the gender identities of our sons and daughters.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/129 for show notes and key links from this episode!

Also - are you feeling overwhelmed in your parenting?
Check out the Ninja Parenting Community, for expert advice about how to handle anything your kids throw at you!
We've got training courses – like the Sanity With Kids course, about staying sane even while raising kids – exclusive members-only calls, vibrant forums, and lots of ways to feel better.
Click here to check out the community, I hope to see you in the forums!

Jan 3, 2017

Maybe you know the symptoms: tummy aches, excessive temper tantrums and stubbornness, crying over everything and over an extended period of time.

If your child shows some of these elements, and it's freaking you out, how do you know what is wrong? And if you can figure that out – how do you help your son or daughter make it right?

In this rebroadcasting of a great conversation from early in 2016, mom and educational facilitator Amy Anderson helps us answer these big, hairy questions.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/128 to listen; weturnedoutokay.com/contact with questions or comments; and here to get personal help with your biggest, scariest child-rearing issues!

Dec 27, 2016

The story I tell today really happened. The year I was nine, we headed up to Montréal from our home in New England to spend the Christmas holidays with our extended family as usual.

But this trip was anything except for "usual!"

It took us more than 54 hours to complete the trip – which normally takes 8-hours – and included many harrowing moments as my mom tried desperately to get herself and us 3 kids safely to her once-a-year time with the family she loved and missed so much.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/127 for links to WGBH studios – where I was invited to tell this story live on stage – and to Mass Mouth, the awesome Massachusetts storytelling organization!

Are you feeling overwhelmed in your parenting?
Check out the Ninja Parenting Community, for expert advice about how to handle anything your kids throw at you!
We've got training courses – like the Sanity With Kids course, about staying sane even while raising kids – exclusive members-only calls, vibrant forums, and lots of ways to feel better.
Click here to check out the community, I hope to see you in the forums!

Dec 22, 2016

Today I'm asking the question: "what matters most… To your kids?"

It's something I've been thinking about since speaking with Jonathan Fields, this past Tuesday's guest.

Through his Good Life Project podcast, Jonathan has been a HUGE mentor of mine. Tuesday we found out who some of Jonathan's mentors are; one turns out to be Milton Glaser, a man who helped Jonathan realize the value of structuring your life so that you prioritize the things that matter most.

What mattered most to Jonathan: time with his wife and their daughter.

This dovetails nicely with what matters most to our kids: it's the time we spend with them.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/126 for full show notes and key links – enjoy the show!

Dec 20, 2016

I've been a huge fan of Jonathan Fields' Good Life Project podcast for over a year now; the guests, subject matter, and message have been instrumental in my life and We Turned Out Okay.

So, when Jonathan accepted my invitation to come on my show, I did a happy dance! (I was already doing one anyway… Jonathan's book, How to Live A Good Life, came out right around the time of our conversation : )

If you're trying to figure out how to survive these next weeks – if you're feeling overwhelmed, and not as joyful as the season suggests you should – you are going to love the show.

Also - are you feeling overwhelmed in your parenting?
Check out the Ninja Parenting Community, for expert advice about how to handle anything your kids throw at you!
We've got training courses – like the Sanity With Kids course, about staying sane even while raising kids – exclusive members-only calls, vibrant forums, and lots of ways to feel better.
Click here to check out the community, I hope to see you in the forums!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/125 for show notes and key links!

Dec 15, 2016

I'm cranking up the mic for two reasons today:

1) listening back to episode 123, where Ninja Parenting Community member Sabrina shared her concerns about holiday overwhelm and helping her girls handle gift-giving, I wanted to create something to help you if you're facing those same problems…

So, I did! Download the FREE 3 Principles of Kids and Gifts if you want help:
– cutting through the gift giving insanity and overwhelm
– finding solutions that work for your whole family – including you.
– Truly enjoying celebrations, with less stress

Click this link to download them today and make the most of the season!

2) an article I read in the paper today, two Saturdays before Christmas eve, really got me thinking about a problem unique to the family gatherings we will all be attending this year. The article reads in part:
"But some non-Trump voters are not yet in a place where they can joke.
That includes [a Dad who shall remain nameless, because he represents a great many people listening today] and his family. This year they will not go to his wife's great aunt's Christmas gathering, in large part for fear of an argument breaking out in front of their 6-year-old daughter.
"She doesn't understand why people like this person, said [this Dad], referring to Trump, "and to explain to her that people in her own family like this person – it would be a lot for her to process."
– "Can The Holidays Be Happy?" The Boston Globe, Saturday, December 10th, 2016

In the wake of that article, I'm wondering: how are you?

Are you worrying about attending family gatherings this year, when it all feels so contentious?

I really hope this episode helps you, if that's the case. Click here to get the full show notes and key links!

Dec 13, 2016

Recently I did an episode called How to Help Kids Cope with Anxiety Over New Situations, episode 117 – and it got near-record downloads.

In episode 117, we helped Melissa figure out how to help her kids handle new situations better – and even how to handle new situations better herself.

(Episode 117 is a recording of a coaching call with a Ninja Parenting Community member – if you want to become a member of our community and get all your parenting questions answered, click here.)

The amount of downloads made me realize something: Melissa is not the only one listening with some anxiety over new situations!

Today, I dig into the idea of anxiety, especially when travel and extended family are involved.

Recorded in December, I hope this episode helps you prepare for year-end gatherings and holiday celebrations.

If you're listening after the holidays, it will still be helpful because new situations happen all the time, we parents often expose our kids to new situations, even outside of this season.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/124 for full show notes and key links. I hope this episode helps you!

Dec 8, 2016

Today, Ninja Parenting Community member Sabrina shares about the concerns she's having right now: how to manage her children's expectations, everyone's feelings of overwhelm – and balancing her own needs with the needs of her family.

Recorded in early December, Sabrina has both a daughter's birthday coming up as well as the busy and overwhelming-in-and-of-itself holiday season.

Sabrina got to have this conversation with me because she is a member of our Ninja Parenting Community.
If you want my help sorting out your toughest parenting issues, you should join too!
We've got training courses – like the Sanity With Kids course, about staying sane even while raising kids – exclusive members-only calls, vibrant forums, and lots of ways to feel better.
Click here to check out the community, I hope to see you in the forums!

Click weturnedoutokay.com/123 for show notes and key links!

Dec 6, 2016

Are you feeling overwhelmed in your parenting?
Check out the Ninja Parenting Community, for expert advice about how to handle anything your kids throw at you!
We've got training courses – like the Sanity With Kids course, about staying sane even while raising kids – exclusive members-only calls, vibrant forums, and lots of ways to feel better.
Click here to check out the community, I hope to see you in the forums!

You may know Jocelyn and Shane Sams from their entrepreneurial podcast, Flipped Lifestyle… "Where Life Always Comes Before Work." This fun and inspirational couple has figured out a way to make their living online, thus spending more time on the important stuff – like raising their 7 and 5-year-old kids!

Today's conversation does not get into entrepreneurship at all, except in talking about how this duo functions as a team – without, in their words, "killin' each other."

It does, however, share Shane and Jocelyn's best tips for enjoying your relationships – with work, family, and those closest to you.

Our conversation is in turns hilarious (as in when Shane describes his "safety wipe" potty training method), and tender (I nearly named this episode "love is a verb," I was so moved when Shane and Jocelyn brought up this concept.)

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/122 for full show notes and key links – and enjoy listening. I know you're going to love this one!

Nov 29, 2016

On November 4 of this year, we heard our very first Christmas commercial, prompting my youngest and I to freak out a little bit.

I mean, November 4! We're still eating Halloween candy on November 4, we're not ready to even think about Thanksgiving, never mind the crazy end-of-the-year extravaganza the holiday season is nowadays.

So my question is: how are you feeling?
Are you stressed out about the holidays?

If so, you're going to love these next weeks of We Turned Out Okay.

We've got conversations coming up with guests who share practical advice for feeling better right now, and the 3-part Holiday Survival guide to give you the support and solace you need to bring your family through this season with smiles on all your faces.

Today: I share an embarrassing story, because I want you to learn from my greedy mistake that experiences matter lots more than stuff.

It's so easy to forget that at this time of year.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/121 for show notes and key links, and enjoy the show!

Nov 24, 2016

There are so many great reasons to help our kids give, no matter their age. Today we dig into not just why but how to help even very young children become "givers."

For many years now, my two boys set aside just a little bit of money each month – an idea given to us by the mom of a friend of theirs. This particular mom also happens to be a midwife, and Max and Jay are helping fund her trip to Haiti, to train midwives and deliver babies, contributing nearly 200 dollars with this little bit of money each month!

There were tears in this mom's eyes when I handed over their donation; that is the power of giving.

But it doesn't just have to be about money. Small kids can contribute in several other ways – listen to this episode for some other ideas to help you help your child become a giver.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/120 for full show notes – including links to tutorials for making no-sew fleece blankets and doggie beds out of old sweatshirts – and key links for this episode!

Nov 22, 2016

Today's guests, Annemarie Kelly-Harbaugh and Ken Harbaugh, did some pretty amazing stuff before they became parents. She helped troubled young people in a program that functioned mainly way out in the woods, he was a naval officer who flew reconnaissance missions and responded to disasters here at home and internationally.

They had each encountered their fair share of storms, which helped them prepare for the challenges of parenthood.

Just like all of us, Ken and Annemarie have seen some storms in parenting; what's cool about them is that they don't just ride out the storms – they learn from them.

In fact, they've written a book – Here Be Dragons: A Parent's Guide to Rediscovering Purpose, Adventure, and the Unfathomable Joy of The Journey – and are on the show today sharing some of their best lessons with us.

I'm excited to bring you today's episode this week especially, because Thanksgiving comes up in our conversation.

And so does so much else.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/119 for full show notes and key links, including those to Annemarie and Ken's awesome blog and book!

Nov 15, 2016

When Ninja Parenting Community member Melissa shared about the anxiety that her kids can feel in new situations – as well as that she herself experiences this anxiety – I knew this was going to be a great Your Child Explained episode.

Who among us has not felt anxiety in new situations? It's so easy for kids to feed off of our worries.

I hope you learn lots as Melissa opens up about the toughest parts of the family's day, feeling overwhelmed, and lots more that you will totally identify with – I know I did.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/118 for my recommendations and key links!

Nov 9, 2016

The gist of this show is, we take care of each other. It's going to be okay.

This morning I woke up to pandemonium, with Canadian loved ones seriously offering their homes… Some of the calmest people that I know terrified and freaking out… My Facebook feed – like yours, I'm sure – filled with tears and panic.

Because half the country was pro--her, and the other half of the country pro-him, we were all going to know some people who hate and fear the results of yesterday's presidential election.

What resonated with me most: parents asking "how do I tell my kids about this?"

Here's how I talked to my boys this morning: I posted a quote to ponder.

In the recent Boston Globe Magazine Women & Power issue, Axcelis Technologies CEO Mary G. Puma was asked how she handles crisis. She responded that a mentor of hers used to say (here comes the quote):

"Never waste a good crisis."

Meaning: how can we move forward?

I wanted this episode to use today's "good crisis" as a catalyst, to help us all bring our kids through tough stuff.

So, I got in here a little earlier than usual in hopes of making you feel better if you are, shall we say, not your usual calm self.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/117 to read about the three ways you can help your kids, and talk to them about this election!

Nov 8, 2016

What worries you about technology and your kids?
Is it online predators? Cyber bullying?
The idea that they'll disappear into their little devices and you'll never see them again?

My guest today, Devorah Heitner, is an expert at helping us understand technology and our kids – and ourselves.

Because like it or not, we are raising digital natives; we need to get this right!

Devorah has appeared on the Today show, NPR, the Discovery Education Channel; she's been featured in Time magazine and Real Simple. Most recently, she's written Screenwise, a book about raising kids in this digital age, highly recommended!

Today – election day if you're listening in real time – Devorah is on the show to help us understand both raising kids in our digital world, and how to teach civility in this era of utterly uncivil political/public discourse.

To read more about my conversation with Devorah, view her amazing TED-X talk, and to listen to our conversation, go to weturnedoutokay.com/116!

 

Nov 1, 2016

In the final chapter in our three-part series (click here for Part 1 about good sleep, and here for Part 2 about the antidote to anxiety), The Modern Parent's Guide to Surviving This Election Cycle, I share about how you can become as educated as possible on the candidates…

Because knowledge IS power.

I'll be voting a week from today – I share in this episode about why voting at all is so important to me, having only been able to vote in the last three presidential elections – and I hope you will vote too.

In this series, I'm also working really hard to be completely unbiased… I don't care WHO you vote for.

I just care that you go in with good information and actually vote.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/115 for notes and links to the unbiased websites I worked so hard to find for you (we stay well away from the candidates' own sites, as well as any site that hints at bias); get informed and then please go vote!

Oct 27, 2016

This past Tuesday, my conversation with mom and broadcast journalist Cheryl Tan ranged among many important topics, including how to talk to our kids about current events and tough stuff, and how to feel better about this election. (Go to weturnedoutokay.com/113 for my conversation with Cheryl.)

One aspect of our talk resonated with me as a great subject to dive into in a Your Child Explained episode: a family schedule that works for everybody.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/114 for notes from this episode on why creating a great family schedule is so important, and for key links!

Oct 25, 2016

I knew I wanted to speak with a journalist regarding next month's presidential election, so I was thrilled when today's guest, veteran TV reporter/anchor Cheryl Tan, agreed to come on the show!

Cheryl has appeared on CNN and Fox News, and currently hosts her own entrepreneurial TV show, Hampton Roads Business Weekly, the Standout podcast, and teaches entrepreneurs how to connect with journalists in her online community, PR Pro.

Speaking with Cheryl helped me realize that "the mainstream media" – feared by some, considered distant by others – is made up of real people. They are sons and daughters, moms and dads, brothers and sisters, and like Cheryl they want to tell people's stories.

In today's episode Cheryl shares about the crazy schedule-juggling that two married journalists go through while raising three boys, how to talk to kids about current events, and Cheryl shares advice that she's not sure you'll love, but nevertheless is her best idea for parents of young children…

Click weturnedoutokay.com/113 for notes in key links on today's episode!

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