This episode starts off as a review of my 2018 goals, and how I did with them.
But then it takes a dramatic turn: I actually had to record the second half of the show more than once. Why? Because when I recorded the first time, I didn't have clarity.
So I renamed the episode, and re-recorded the second half, and now I hope it is much more helpful than the first version would've been!
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/259 for:
And thank you so much for listening!
During today's break I share about two helpful free guides I offer.
While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are super quick.
You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately handle the temper tantrums or get started with potty training (depending on which guide you choose : )
Happy new year!!
As you climb out from underneath tinsel, and excess, and cranky kiddos, I wanted to share some success stories.
I hope to inspire you, right at the beginning of the year, by giving you some stories where things, well, turned out okay, to use the pun that I always swore I would never use (and have indeed not used until this very moment : )
So, today's is a re-broadcasted conversation, originally recorded way back in 2016, in which I spoke to dad and educator Erik Wagter. Erik's story is special: he and his wife are raising an autistic son, and early on they were told he would never lead anything like a normal life.
And they are helping him, every day, to lead a wonderful, if not completely normal, life. Besides, whose life is "normal"?
"Normal is just a setting on the washing machine" – one of my favorite quotes ever.
Also, I'm sharing two stories of success from our exclusive private coaching community, the Ninja Parenting Community.
Stories of parents just like you, and how they handled it when the going got tough.
I hope you find today's success stories episode inspiring and helpful!
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/258 for:
And thank you so much for listening!
During today's break I share about two helpful free guides I offer.
While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are super quick.
You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately handle the temper tantrums or get started with potty training (depending on which guide you choose : )
Let's just say it: at this time of year, we don't always get the best behavior from our kids.
They're overstimulated. They're out of routine. In many end-of-year traditions they are being showered with gifts.
This can make them forget that life is about so much more than receiving presents from everybody who walks through the door (or whose door they walk through.)
So, today I wanted to help you deal with the gimmes!
Listen for three ways to gently help your child step away from the gifts.
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/257 for:
And thank you so much for listening!
During today's break I share about two helpful free guides I offer.
While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are super quick.
You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately handle the temper tantrums or get started with potty training (depending on which guide you choose : )
posted an article by today's guest in our Ninja Parenting Community forums, I was introduced to one of the great positive parenting forces of our time: Dr. Laura Markham.
As soon as I visited her Aha Parenting website, and read some of the advice Dr. Laura shares, I knew you needed to be introduced to her too!
Today our conversation gets into vulnerability, trust, and resiliency. Dr. Laura helps us really enjoy our lives, and our kids.
I hope our conversation helps you gain a better understanding of this whole parenting thing. It sure helped me!
During today's break I share about two helpful free guides I offer.
While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are super quick.
You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately handle the temper tantrums or get started with potty training (depending on which guide you choose : )
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/255 for:
And thank you so much for listening!
I feel your pain about getting kids to do chores.
They whine, and complain, and with enough of that, we begin to ask ourselves "is this really necessary? I could have already had this done myself, and saved us all this trouble."
But if kids don't do chores, what happens? Are they any more or less likely to have a successful, fulfilled, happy life?
Today we dive into this topic. We explore the right chore mindset, and three practical steps you can take, regarding chores and your child.
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/256 for:
And thank you so much for listening!
During today's break I share about two helpful free guides I offer.
While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are super quick.
You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately handle the temper tantrums or get started with potty training (depending on which guide you choose : )
HEADS UP: At the top of the show, we say we're going to tell you if we go into PG-13 territory. In the second half of this episode, I share about being sexually abused at age 7. You may want to listen away from your littles, or with headphones.
"Is it shyness or bad manners?" When a member of our private coaching community asked this question during a live members-only call recently, I knew I needed to get you a show about handling stranger anxiety.
We've got 12 ways for you to handle your child's stranger anxiety… and we talk about how stranger anxiety isn't necessarily a bad thing.
I hope this is a helpful episode as you head into the holiday season, and your young child is meeting lots of new people!
During today's break I share about two wonderful free guides I offer.
While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are quick-and-effective.
You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately handle the temper tantrums or get started with potty training (depending on which guide you choose : )
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/254 for:
And thank you so much for listening!
Today I share how the stress I was under 7 1/2 years ago resulted in a lifelong tendon disorder.
I was so busy running our household and putting everyone else first, I did not pay attention to my health.
I really want you to learn from my mistake.
Today's show focuses on how our stress isn't just bad for us. It's bad for our kids, too.
We also dig into the stresses of "intensive" parenting (a.k.a. helicopter or lawnmower parenting). And as you'll see, that form of parenting stresses everybody out.
(Know what else stresses everybody out? Potty training, and temper tantrums… During today's break I share about a free guide I offer for each of these stressors:
In this episode I offer three ways for you to be less stressed, not just now as we get into the holiday season (and everyone is pretty well at the end of their rope) but about how you can be less stressed over the long haul.
It's Part 3 of the "how to raise successful, fulfilled, happy people" series, and I hope it helps you enjoy the time you spend with your littles!
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/253 for:
And thank you so much for listening!
Thanksgiving is supposed to be fun, right? It's time with family, one last deep breath before December's insanity.
But when our kids were small I used to worry.
It's such a big meal. It takes such preparations. And it goes on for such a long time… How could I keep my boys quiet and happy on this day?
Then, there were the issues of stranger anxiety, and of small kids in a crowded space, with lots of treasured knickknacks and plants for them to hurt or break "on accident"… How could I give them a sense of security, and everyone else the sense that "here's a kid who won't destroy everything in sight"?
In this bonus episode I give you 5 ways to alleviate these problems, just in time for tomorrow's celebrations!
This is Ninja Parenting Community (NPC) member Jen, with her two little girls. Jen is a rockstar member of NPC! She brings not just great questions, but help and support for other members, a "parenting can be fun" sensibility, and also adorable pictures like this one. I am so grateful for Jen.
In this episode I share an announcement about something happening right now: the "I'm thankful" special, where you can join our exclusive parent coaching community for just $1 for the first month.
One member of the Ninja Parenting Community (NPC for short) recently shared in our forums:
"What a difference this has made!!!… I truly cannot thank you enough."
When she wrote those words I felt so grateful. To know that the work I do strengthens the bond between a parent and child; to know that I have expertise that brings families together?
Nothing feels better than that to me.
I am so thankful, and I want to share that gratitude with you.
If you've been thinking about jumping into NPC, but but you weren't sure that membership would be worthwhile, reread those words from NPC member Mama Llama above.
This is PJ Jonas and family; PJ, my guest in episode 173, shared so much about getting to the fun parts of family life. I'm so grateful for our conversation.
And then:
Imagine a December in which, when your young child acts up, you've got a place to come and get help right away.
Imagine bringing your kids to a family gathering without being fearful of what their behavior could be.
Imagine that instead of feeling gut-wrenching worry, instead of the guilt or sadness you feel when you shout or spank your little one, you could enjoy this special family time.
Then: click here to try NPC, for just $1, for your whole first month.
The "I'm grateful" special also includes a special discounted rate for every consecutive month you're in NPC (you can cancel at any time, so there's no risk)…
So make your dreams of happy family time a reality by clicking the link above!
(This offer ends the Thursday after Thanksgiving, Nov. 29. I know you don't want to miss out!
Click the link above today.)
Happy listening, and happy Thanksgiving!
I did a happy dance a few weeks ago when I read that American Academy of Pediatrics has revised its guidelines on spanking and corporal punishment. This 67,000-doctor organization is coming out strongly against spanking, humiliating, and frightening children as discipline.
Today I'm rebroadcasting my conversation with former AAP president, Dr. Benard Dreyer. Dr. Dreyer gave such wonderful advice for parents as we raise our kids, and to my surprise it's been more than 2 years since this interview first aired! Time flies.
In the preshow, before our conversation, I read from the newspaper article that had me doing my happy dance, "Spanking is harmful, ineffective, group says."
Hope you enjoy this episode, and that it helps you remember to keep your discipline positive!
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/252 for:
And thank you so much for listening!
"What's a reasonable consequence for when I ask my young child to stop running away, and he doesn't stop, at the park?"
This is the gist of a recent question from one mom in our We Turned Out Okay Facebook group.
I shared what I think is a pretty good answer… and then other parents in the group shared their ideas. These ideas were so great – and so different from mine – that I knew I needed to talk about this issue on the podcast.
So, hope you enjoy this episode, dedicated to helping you set limits, and enjoy more of your time, when you are at a park or playground or out in the world with your young child!
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/251 for:
And thank you so much for listening!
The term "parenting style" feels so nebulous.
But what if your parenting style – what you do in day-to-day interactions with your young child – makes it harder for you to connect, to be happy as you raise your family?
What if it affected, not just your young one's childhood, but their whole life?
Framed like that, the parenting style we bring isn't so much nebulous, as important.
Key, even.
Today's episode digs into the 3 different parenting styles, how they affect your child's life, and yours.
It's part two of our "raising successful, fulfilled kids" series, and I hope it's useful for you!
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/250 for:
And thank you so much for listening!
Do you sometimes feel like you are raising your family in mighty frightening times?
So do I.
That's why, when I learned about the thing of beauty this week's guest created to combat fear, I knew I had to bring her on the show!
Mom, quilter, poet, and personal friend Cathleen Dinsmore recently created an amazing quilt-and-poem combination. The quilt is breathtaking – and, combined with the poem, fosters conversation around fear, and hope, and justice.
At weturnedoutokay.com you can view Cathleen's amazing quilt, read the beautiful poem, and prepare to be inspired by the incredible impact one person can have on alleviating fear and inspiring hope.
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/249 for:
And thank you so much for listening!
I am SO excited to bring you today's show!
I have good friend and colleague, Tricia Tomaso, a veteran preschool teacher and holder of a master's degree in special education.
Recently, Tricia helped me figure out the right mindset and steps parents can take while potty training – her amazing ideas come up in my Successful Potty Training Under Pressure course, in fact – and she has graciously agreed to come on the show and answer YOUR questions.
So! Today we take questions on:
– What to do if your child hits you, especially repeatedly
– How to handle it if you are a relatively low energy parent, and your child is a high-energy kid
– If you're worried that you are overinvolved with your kids
– And more!
Buckle in, this is a really fun and useful ride today!
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/248 for:
And thank you so much for listening!
Today's show dives into something difficult to imagine, when your kids are so young and your focus is on stuff like temper tantrums, sibling fights, and picky eaters.
We can wonder, what miracle will occur, just in the next decade or so, to change my kid from being so young and helpless, to someone who can lead a successful, fulfilled, and happy life?
Today, I'm beginning a deep dive into the idea of raising successful and fulfilled kids.
The idea was born years ago, when friends would lament the idea of the lack of business and entrepreneurship education in K-12 school.
Then several months ago it crystallized, when a friend, thinking he was motivating his child, changed his boy's internally-motivated entrepreneurial activity to one with strings attached (the boy wouldn't get his weekly allowance unless he worked on this previously for-fun, now parent mandated business activity.)
Today I share how you can avoid making this mistake.
Because it IS a huge mistake – and the repercussions can ripple out over your child's entire adult life.
This is one we really need to get right, so listen in and find out how.
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/247 for:
And thank you so much for listening!
Diane Hessan always knew she wanted to work full-time, while raising her daughters. Today she shares what that was really like, and how her life's work prepared her to fulfill a super important role in today's frightening and demoralizing political climate.
Nowadays, Diane speaks daily with 500 American voters. These are people from every area of the country, every walk of life, every creed, every color. And as she connects with them Diane is learning important lessons that she takes into her own life.
Listen to our conversation today to discover what these lessons are, so you can enjoy your life, and be helpful to those around you at the same time!
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/246 for:
And thank you so much for listening!
[caption id="attachment_1787" align="alignleft" width="150"] Don't you wish your kid looked this happy sitting on a potty?[/caption]
How should you potty train your child?
I've done some research on these two questions, and let me tell you, they are asked really often in Google.
Is this on your mind? Or, are you already trying to potty train, but hitting serious roadblocks?
Then, today's episode is for you!
In it I share 3 ways to know if your child is ready for potty training, and also 3 tips on how to actually accomplish this feat.
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/245 for:
And thank you so much for listening!
PS Today I share about a course I just finished that I'm really proud of!
It's called Successful Potty Training Under Pressure, a comprehensive guide to potty training your young child in even the most difficult of circumstances, and you can check it out by clicking here.
Or if you'd rather, get the first lesson FREE! Click here to have Lesson 1, "How to make this take the shortest amount of time possible," dropped right into your inbox!
Recently one of the moms in my parent coaching community wrote in to share that her 4-year-old sons were about to start school… in a preschool-through-12th-grade school where corporal punishment is used.
"I can't imagine [my boys] doing anything that would warrant a paddling, but I could not make myself check that box saying it was okay," she wrote in our forums.
She then shared that, if parents check the "no, don't spank my kid" box, children are exposed to other punishments such as a 3-day suspension and zeros on any assignments missed!
I was shocked. In every state there are laws against striking people in prisons and in the military; in most every state it's illegal to strike an animal.
But it turns out that in 19 states, it's okay to strike a child in school.
Come down the rabbit hole with me, into the world of corporal punishment.
It's a world that might be much closer to you than you ever imagined.
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/244 for:
And thank you so much for listening!
if you look at your little kids and can't imagine how they could possibly become functioning – never mind happy or successful – adults.
Dad and author Jonathan Greene shares wisdom, and great stories, with us today!
Our conversation is all about how Jonathan went from being a latchkey kid – who was routinely mugged, and didn't let it bother him – to a hovering father of young children.
Today he's a dad of teens who's formed really great bonds with his son and daughter, and shares today about the choices he made that helped develop those bonds.
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/243 for this week's YouTube video about what to do when your child is sneaking candy and treats that they know are off limits, for the podcast back catalog and all the great links that come up in today's episode.
And thanks for listening!
Shout out to all you We Turned Out Okay Patreon patrons!
Patrons get exclusive content, EXTRA Magic Words for Parents videos, early access to my forthcoming book, Your Child Explained Vol 1, and lots more help and advice that regular listeners can only dream of.
Click Patreon.com/weturnedoutokay to find out how you can get these benefits too!
"Today my 2.5-year-old and his Dad were in a car accident… This happened around 1 PM today and my son has been talking about it and asking questions all evening. I'm trying to answer in simple clear terms but I feel over my head. It feels like a punch in the gut every time it comes up again."
So wrote one of our Ninja Parenting Community members over the summer. Scary stuff!
Helping her process her young child's trauma, and helping her through her own, has been a real focus of mine ever since.
So it seemed only right to share these lessons with you!
That way you'll be prepared if something traumatic happens that involves your children.
Tune in to find out 3 ways to help your young child process trauma - and read about these 3 ways, find the entire back catalog of the podcast, watch my recent YouTube video about how to make big parenting decisions, and check out lots more stuff at weturnedoutokay.com/242 ...
And thanks for listening!
"[My husband and I, and our little daughter] are rushing out the door and late to work most mornings. I'm looking forward to participating in the challenge to figure out how to get to work on time!"
"With kindergarten I feel like I'm about to toss [my daughter] to the wolves. I'm worried I will have to practically push her through the door. How can I help her overcome her fear and her habitual morning anxiety?"
Do you, like these listeners, struggle with chaotic mornings? If so sign up here for the Streamline Your Mornings challenge, going on all next week September 10-14!
Each day you will learn one new tactic to eliminate the stress and frustration that mornings can bring, so you can calmly and confidently enjoy your mornings with your kids.
Stop the morning madness!
Listen to this quickie episode to learn more about the Streamline Your Mornings challenge… And then:
Click the link below to join this challenge:
weturnedoutokay.com/streamline
To wrap up our Back-to-School Bootcamp series we take a look today at milestones, guidelines, and goals in our kids' education.
How important is it to have a 20,000-foot view of a young child's life?
What kind of goals should you set, and what kind of milestones should you look for?
That's what today's episode is all about.
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/241 for notes to this episode...
Sign up for the upcoming Streamline Your Mornings challenge by clicking here: weturnedoutokay.com/streamline!
And click here for an advanced chapter of my forthcoming book, Your Child Explained Volume 1…
And thank you so much for listening!
Glad you are here for Module 3 of our Back-to-School Bootcamp!
Today we follow up on last week's discussion of what to do about school or childcare problems, so listen back to that one if you're wondering "how do I handle THIS?"
Many of us wonder "what is my role in my child's education, how can I best help?" I've got three crucial actions you must take so your child can thrive!
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/240 for more on these 3 steps, help getting your child to love reading, and links to back episodes of everything…
And thank you so much for listening!
[Please note: Magic Words for Parents, our series of quick phrases to help you say the right thing even in the toughest parenting moments, is on vacation until September 10… Click here for the playlist of past Magic Words in YouTube, and click here for the EXTRA Magic Words videos … get exclusive access by becoming a We Turned Out Okay Patreon patron.]
Glad you are here for Module 2 of our Back-to-School Boot camp!
Today we follow up on last week's determination of readiness, so listen back to that one if you're wondering "is my child ready for this?"
Problems can crop up whether your child is "ready" for this step or not, so I've got three crucial steps you need to take to handle challenges!
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/239 for more on these 3 steps, help getting your child to love reading, and links to back episodes of everything…
And thank you so much for listening!
[Please note: Magic Words for Parents, our series of quick phrases to help you say the right thing even in the toughest parenting moments, is on vacation until September 10… Click here for the playlist of past Magic Words in YouTube, and click here for the EXTRA Magic Words videos … get exclusive access by becoming a We Turned Out Okay Patreon patron.]
a whole series of new episodes on overcoming the perils of back-to-school!
Starting with today's episode, in which I share three ways to know if your child is ready – for preschool, for kindergarten, for first or second grade, for relocating to a new school… You name it and we cover it in this episode.
If, after you listen, you're thinking "maybe my kid ISN'T ready for this…" Hang onto your hats for next week. That is when we will discuss what to do if you're not sure your child is ready for whatever's in store!
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/238 for help getting your child to love reading, to take my survey on your biggest back-to-school challenge, and links to back episodes of everything…
And thank you so much for listening!
[Please note: Magic Words for Parents, our series of quick phrases to help you say the right thing even in the toughest parenting moments, is on vacation until September 10… Click here for the playlist of past Magic Words in YouTube, and click here for the EXTRA Magic Words videos … get exclusive access by becoming a We Turned Out Okay Patreon patron.]
is always a pleasure, and this episode is maybe my favorite conversation with her yet!
KJ has got a book coming out later this month, and if you're feeling the pressures of parenting, you are going to LOVE her book, How to be a Happier Parent.
Like so many of my favorite conversations, this one zooms around and goes in directions that I didn't envision when we sat down to talk.
And every direction offers something valuable for you to take into your parenting life.
We talk about:
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/237 for the TONS of links that come up in our conversation, and also to read more about KJ's 2-step process to deal with those pressures…
And thank you so much for listening!