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The We Turned Out Okay Podcast

What kind of hijinks did you get up to as a kid? Did you climb trees? Did you run around outside barefoot? Did you eat raw cookie dough? Maybe you wanted to do these and other crazy things, but you weren't allowed… Let me ask you this: what if your children wanted to? Would you let them? If you hesitate there, well, you're in the right place. The We Turned Out Okay podcast is where we learn the hows and whys of hovering less and enjoying our young children more. You get to learn from host Karen Lock Kolp's mistakes, but especially from the successes of her guests. Each helpful, lively conversation illustrates why this show really is "The Modern Guide to Old-School Parenting."
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Now displaying: June, 2020
Jun 30, 2020

As a child development expert, I want to help you keep going in our new reality!
This conversation, recorded during March 2020 (in other words at the very beginning of the pandemic here in the US), I know will be super helpful for that.

I am excited to bring you my conversation with the author of one of my favorite parenting books (it's called Happy Campers) – Audrey Monke of sunshine-parenting.com is today's OkayCon 2020 guest!

Audrey shares:
- How to stay positive, even while everyone is cooped up together
– Some great family-focused activities you can do to make your stuck at home time more enjoyable
– What lessons Audrey, her family, and counselors and campers (who attend the summer camp Audrey owns and runs) are learning from this time

Learn how to keep going:
In my (free) Weekly Parenting Newsletters I am taking you on my journey of recovering from burnout, exhaustion, and huge feelings of guilt.
I am working to feel at peace with myself – to keep going, raising my kids, keeping our household running, and feeling happy inside – and if you want some tools to help you accomplish those miracles, click this link! Weturnedoutokay.com/weekly

NPC Summer Camp registration ENDS Wednesday 7/1
One way parents have been feeling way better, recovering from exhaustion, handling their kids' fears, clinginess, and potty training issues: the Ninja Parenting Community.
Get access to everything in the community and enjoy a summer camp program created just for you, if you are looking for connection and positivity in our new reality!
I am closing registration to NPC on Wednesday, July 1 at 9 PM EST – enroll today, and take that first step toward being able to feel at peace with yourself and (sustainably) keep going!
Here is the link, jump in while there is still time:
weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC

(go to weturnedoutokay.com/337 for notes to this episode)
We will get through this together!
Cheers -
Karen

Jun 23, 2020

"Would you have any recommendations for books or anything that might help with learning the best ways to integrate an older adopted child into a family, or good books on adoption and advice?"
"How to divide my attention between my 1 YO and my 4 YO… I try to give exclusive mummy daughter time but it's never enough."

These are the first two questions in our Q&A series… I hope they are helpful!

A Summer Camp program for you
Towards the end of the episode I mention NPC Summer Camp, a new program I'm offering to help parents of young children not just get through, but live IN, summer 2020. Opening Ceremonies are this coming Friday!

Spend your whole first month in my online coaching practice for parents (NPC) for FREE – exclusively for podcast listeners and folks in my email group – by clicking here (offer ends Wednesday, June 24, so enroll today!)

Then you'll be all set for summer camp! We'll have lots of fun, keeping each other company and taking control of our family's direction in this, a summer like no other.

Camp activities are aimed at helping you enjoy family time even in this year's difficult circumstances.
Join now, spend your whole first month in NPC for free. I can't wait to see you in our community forums!

For the adoption and sibling jealousy links that come up today, click the following link:
weturnedoutokay.com/336

And hang in there. We will get through this together!

Jun 16, 2020

I am super excited to bring you this conversation with Jennifer Louden, whose extremely helpful books (including the one we dive into today, Why Bother?), have sold nearly a million copies! Jennifer has been featured in hundreds of podcasts, magazines, and TV and radio shows – even appearing on Oprah.

In today's conversation you will learn:
– How to really give a hoot about your life again
– Why it's crucial to LIVE in tough times, instead of just trying to live through them
– Appropriate discipline for when your child gets into mischief (specifically writing on walls with magic marker, but what we discuss applies to whenever a kid gets into trouble)

Go to jenniferlouden.com for answers to this question, posed there: "How do you bother after heartbreak, after creative and career defeats, after loss, after sidelining your dreams to pay off the debt, raise kids, or take care of aging parents?"
But first, listen to our conversation!

Need something positive in your life this summer?

I'm excited to share a new program I'm offering: we are having summer camp in the Ninja Parenting Community!
In addition to the courses, challenges, and other great stuff to keep you sane while raising your little kids, NPC Summer Camp includes:
– Weekly camp activities that help you be a better parent, like making a vision board, or a "house rules" sign, or a treasure hunt to take kiddos on, or a "no occasion needed" fun family surprise
– Supportive and fun Members-Only Campfire Nights
– The sense of belonging to a community of people who get it, and who are along on this parenting journey with you

NPC Summer Camp dates: Friday, June 26-Friday, August 7, 2020.
Enroll now to enjoy family life this summer!

Exclusively for podcast listeners and folks signed up for my weekly newsletters, click here to get your whole first month for free!

(Offer ends Wednesday, June 24, and NPC Summer Camp begins Friday, June 26, so jump in now!)
Can't wait to see you at summer camp!

Click here to see this post in your browser : )

Jun 9, 2020

"It's as if we are going through the 1918 flu pandemic AND the Great Depression AND the Civil Rights era, all at once." That's what James Arthur said on his podcast, Minority Korner, in (and about) Spring 2020.
I think he's right.
To get through it all we are going to have to work together!
That's the spirit in which I bring you this episode. In this conversation on racial justice between my friend Shane Sams, and his friend Talaat McNeely, Talaat shares that we each must "Make change within our sphere of influence."
Well, my sphere of influence is in teaching parents like you how to get your family going in the direction you want.
Today I link that idea up with getting this nation going in the direction we want: one in which everyone is treated fairly, and where parents don't have to worry about their children being harassed, assaulted, or murdered because of how they look.
I hope this episode, all about raising anti-racist kids, will help you make these crucial changes within your sphere of influence.

FYI: Free live training course on raising good, kind kids –
This week I'm doing not one but two live trainings, teaching on how a parent can change a child's bad behavior to good… and one common mistake that well-meaning parents often make when trying to raise good, kind kids. (In other words, something that ups the bad behavior, when they're trying to reduce it. It's not a mistake you want to make.)
Click weturnedoutokay.com/kind to sign up for the live trainings, this coming Thursday, June 11 and Sunday, June 14!

Because of my white privilege, I have been able to insulate myself.
I've been able to not see some important truths that have been right in front of me.
I have remained ignorant, when I should have been seeking education.

This week one of my friends, a white man from Kentucky, had an amazing conversation with one of his friends, a Black man from Chicago. Talaat McNeely and Shane Sams spoke for an hour and 45 minutes, and I was astounded and ashamed at the stories Talaat told.
Things that have personally happened to him and his kids, just because of the color of their skin.

I was:
– astounded by the differences in our experiences, Talaat's and mine, which only came about because he happens to be Black, and I happen to be white. No one should ever, EVER be treated the way Talaat and his family have been treated.

– ashamed because I let it happen.
The simple fact that it is happening means that I have not done enough to stop it.

Talaat shares five key steps that we can take to stop racism.
(I don't remember to bring up the first and most important one until we're almost at the very end of today's episode, so all along you'll hear me talk about four key steps… But that first one is most important. Talaat brings it up right at the beginning of his conversation with Shane. It's something you hear me talk about on the show again and again, and I still can't believe it took me until the last part of this episode to talk about it in connection with stopping racism.)

There are about a million links today, so for those and a description of the five key steps we can take to stop racism – to raise anti-racist kids – click the following link: weturnedoutokay.com/334.

We need each other now, more than ever.
If you are reading this and you're a person who (as the Black Panthers used to say) is Black or oppressed, you have my empathy, and my pledge to become educated instead of remaining ignorant about what has happened to you, and the part I have played in your troubles.
If you're a person of privilege, I hope that like me, you're open to moving forward on the path from ignorance, to education. And from there to support.
We will get through this together <3

Jun 2, 2020

(FYI: about 10 or so minutes in, I use the word "jackass" once or twice... it's not enough for an E-rating, but I want you to be aware just in case you want to listen away from sensitive ears.)

Hi Friends,

I had planned for, and drafted, a very different kind of post today for you (I got about a dozen spider bites while sleeping Saturday night, and we've got a very large ant invasion going on in our kitchen; my abandoned draft was largely about these.)

But as I wrote I realized how truly small and insignificant these concerns of mine are.

There is a lot going on in the world, and a lot going on in the news.

And I wanted to start the week off with a simpler message.

I wasn't sure what that message would be, except somehow I wanted to transcend the fear, the worry, and the struggles that we are seeing in the news, and even in our own homes.

My family and I just finished virtually attending the closing ceremonies for the year at my son's school, and the Executive Director George Popham teared up saying the following:

"If there's one important thing we should be doing, it is to put good, kind people in the world."

Immediately I knew that that was the message I wanted to share.

This morning when I woke up, and even as I began to write this email, I was feeling helpless and small and afraid. (And itchy from spider bites, if I'm being honest.)

Hearing George's words made me feel much, much better.

We have a really important mission, us parents:
It's to put good, kind people in the world.

If we do nothing else – absolutely nothing! – besides this, I believe it will be enough.

And if I can be helpful to you, as you are working on this mission, that would fulfill something deep in me.

I have lots of ideas and experience working with young children, and spent nearly a decade working in an outstanding, cutting-edge preschool program.
I earned my bachelor's degree in Human Development and Family Relations, and later my master's degree in Early Childhood Education.

I've spent the last six years helping parents rein in their children's bad behavior and truly enjoy family life.

I know a lot about what makes kids tick, and how we can alleviate their bad behavior, and thus connect with them and feel happy within ourselves as we raise them.

If we're going to raise kind people, we can do that best by making our environment is positive and kind as possible.
If you're struggling with that, I hope I can be helpful for you!

I just built a page on my website, weturnedoutokay.com/bias, where I gathered many of the resources that have been helping me learn to combat racism – a huge part of raising good and kind kids.

I've also got lots of other free resources, including 332 back podcast episodes, and an entire Virtual Summit that I put on in response to the pandemic this past April. You can spend more in depth time with me each Wednesday evening by joining the WTOO Book Club, which is free to join, and can be free to read the book if the purchase cost is a barrier for you. And I am running a special right now, until this coming Wednesday, June 3, on entry into the virtual coaching practice where I personally help parents with their biggest challenges, trying to make this as affordable for you as possible.

Lastly, if you've got any parenting questions at all I hope you'll go to weturnedoutokay.com/contact and ask.
We will get through this, together.

Cheers,
Karen

Jun 2, 2020

"I feel like I'm completely alone trying to meet completely insatiable needs for days on end."
That is what one of the moms in my online coaching practice, the Ninja Parenting Community, wrote early last week.

She's not the only one. Not by a longshot!
In this week's episode I share my best ideas for getting through a crisis.
Even a slow-motion, simultaneously-terrifying-and-tedious, pandemic-induced crisis like the one we're in now in June 2020.

If your energy, patience, and/or well-being is flagging, first of all let me offer HUGE hugs!
Listen to this episode for some practical things you can do to get through the toughest of these tough times.

Join us!

Links that come up today:

Parenting Masterclass
For the all-summer-long live Masterclass series, "Parenting in Place," which features lots of WTOO beloved guests and friends, like Audrey Monke, Jessica Lahey, and Devorah Heitner, click here! (I'm signed up for it, and I hope you'll sign up too!)

Ninja Parent Playbook!
Want to be a part of the (extremely limited) first-ever issue of the Ninja Parent Playbook?
This is the brainwave I mentioned briefly in last week's episode – a newsletter to help you keep going, anchored by a calendar that gives you some small step to take every day.
But it's so much more than that. It's part workbook, part inspirational thinking, part marching orders to keep you on track. It's packed with informative and thoughtful ideas to help you not just "live through" this (or any) crisis – but really, truly LIVE.
If you want to bring your family safely through hard times, while feeling not just as if you're scraping by but as if you are happy within yourself and in your family, you need this newsletter!
It's a monthly publication that comes in your mailbox! (If you're outside the US at this point it needs to be a PDF into your email, although I'm hoping that will change in the future : )
Click the link below to sign up:
weturnedoutokay.com/playbook

WTOO Book Club
Click the following link for the WTOO Book Club (we are reading Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, my first book and one that really gets to the heart of how to have a happy family life)
weturnedoutokay.com/bookclub

Grand Reopening sale ends Wednesday, June 3
Earlier I mentioned the Ninja Parenting Community, my online private coaching practice; Wednesday, June 3, 2020 is your LAST day to get a special quarterly rate – 3 months for the price of 2!
Click this link for details:
weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC

Click weturnedoutokay.com/066 for my conversation about consent, with Amy Anderson.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/332 for last week's conversation with special needs preschool teacher, and close friend and colleague of mine, Tricia Tomaso (the episode comes up today because I shared last week about the brainwave that has become the Ninja Parent Playbook : )

Click weturnedoutokay.com/333 to view this post in your browser.

And again huge hugs! We will get through this together <3

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