SENSITIVE EARS ALERT… Part way through this episode I share about a traumatic event that happened to me in my childhood. I ask that you put on headphones, or listen away from sensitive ears. Thank you!
Today I share three keys to success, when parenting in a pandemic or any crisis.
They are not difficult keys. Because if they were, we wouldn't be able to do them as consistently as they need doing…
Instead, the first key is relaxing, the second key is enjoyable, and the the third key takes something negative and frames it to be positive.
Also: the day before I recorded this episode I had a total brainwave.
I connected up my superpower – helping people feel seen and cared for – to the reason I have this gift, and have had ever since I can remember.
It's not a pretty reason.
When I was seven years old I was sexually abused, in my own home, with my mom right upstairs. (She was completely unaware, and I would be a senior in college before she discovered the extent of the trauma. In my first book, Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, I share about what my folks did that was helpful, even though they had no idea what had happened to me.)
After the incident, my whole personality changed. I felt lost, anxious every time we drove out of my ken in the car, and convinced that if I lost sight of my family, they had deserted me.
The day before recording this episode I had the following brainwave:
My superpower comes from the fact that no one gave me the care that I needed, no one came to my rescue on that day. No one had found me when I was lost.
So, I had to learn to do that for myself.
I had to take care of little Karen, because no one else was there to do that.
And it's left me with a unique ability, that I've been practicing ever since: to make people feel seen, and cared for.
It's become the defining value of my life.
So if you're feeling lost, or as if no one cares about you, let me be that person for you.
As a child development expert, I've never yet met a parent who didn't have some concerns for their children.
If you're feeling like everything is impossible right now – lockdown, mask etiquette, school-at-at home, chaos in one corner and fire in another – I can help.
I've got two ways:
First, I am creating a publication called the We Turned Out Okay Playbook.
It is going to be so helpful for you, as you navigate the craziness and help your family through it all.
I wrote it to help you LIVE in challenging times, so you and your family can come through them and thrive.
Check it out – and download the August 2020 PDF completely free – by going to:
weturnedoutokay.com/playbook
Second, I'm opening up some time in my schedule to talk. For conversations.
Conversation that helps you feel seen, and heard, and cared for.
Conversation that helps you handle parenting, in the age of coronavirus.
If you want to think possibilities instead of fears…
If you want the help of someone who knows her child-development stuff, who helps her clients get real success…
If you want to have a conversation that's so helpful that you will literally remember it for the rest of your life… Email me!
(I share my email address towards the end of this episode. I won't write it down for bot-fraud-prevention purposes, but suffice it to say that my email address is my name, combined with the name of this website. Or, you could just listen to this episode, where you'll hear me say it out loud : )
I've worked with people who came into a coaching session with me, believing that something was impossible. They came out of it looking forward to some new possibilities and within a very short amount of time (the story that I share in this episode, it was the same day) wrote to me and said "I thought this was impossible, and we are DOING it!"
What is possible for you?
Let's find out.
The inaugural issue of the We Turned Out Okay Playbook is officially out!
Click the link below to view and download your free PDF copy of Issue 1/August 2020:
weturnedoutokay.com/playbook
The wonderful coach, Mariela Ortiz, was kind enough to include me in her virtual summit, Mommy Matters!
Click the link below to join the Free virtual Summit that Mariela is offering, which starts on August 3:
https://bit.ly/2Ztu7pJ
On August 4 (next week if you're listening in real time) Mariela is my guest on We Turned Out Okay!
On that day or after you can click the following link to listen to our conversation:
weturnedoutokay.com/342
I am loving the Parenting in Place Masterclass, and talk about this in here today because the second key to success for parenting in the pandemic is a game that I first heard of in this masterclass. Click the link below to find out more about it:
parentinginplacemasterclass.com
Click the link below for this post in your browser:
weturnedoutokay.com/341
Navigating social situations has only gotten worse in the pandemic – but it sure wasn't always easy, even before!
Today's guests, Evie Granville and Sarah Davis of the Modern Manners for Moms and Dads Podcast, have spent years helping parents navigate social minefields. With a book coming out in the fall and an awesome quiz that you can take right now (I did!), These two friends, educators, and parents have lots to contribute in helping us get along and raise our kids in these crazy times.
Listen to this episode to learn:
– how to navigate the toughest situations you might encounter
– how to understand your own approach to parenting
– how to shift that approach, if it's not working as well as it could for you and your family
A few announcements
1. I share in this week's preshow segment how frustrating I'm feeling, as a child-development expert, hearing from so many parents whose children are not doing well in the current educational climate.
I've got 3 ways to help if this is you!
Join my FREE Pandemic Back-to-School Challenge – enroll at the link below by Wednesday, July 22, 2020:
weturnedoutokay.com/pandemicchallenge
Try the Ninja Parenting Community (NPC), our online virtual coaching practice, where parents are getting much needed help navigating the start to this crazy school year.
Right now you can try the Community for just $1 for your whole first month! Click the following link for details and to join NPC:
weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC
A new publication I'm creating, the WTOO Playbook! The August 2020 issue is jampacked with help and hope as you navigate the beginning of this crazy school year.
Join my newsletter group to find out more about the WTOO Playbook:
weturnedoutokay.com/weekly
2. We're in the middle of a 10-week (free) newsletter series on how I'm overcoming my own burnout and overwhelm.
The most recent newsletter was all about how much better I felt coming from a place of kindness, rather than judgment.
Click here to read that newsletter and to sign up for future ones!
3. I've been invited to be part of the Mommy Matters Virtual Summit, the brainchild of next week's WTOO guest, parent Coach, mindfulness expert, and yoga instructor Mariela Ortiz!
The Summit starts in early August, and you can sign up for it by going to:
Mommymatterssummit.com
Links Evie, Sarah, and I discuss are in the show notes, located at weturnedoutokay.com/340
Enjoy the show!
If the return to preschool/childcare/school is on your mind – and I know it is, because I've spoken with lots of you over the last few weeks – this FREE Pandemic Back-to-School Challenge will help you:
– Take on your biggest concerns about the upcoming year
– Manage your children's behavior, and your own emotions, so you're ready for the upcoming changes
– Learn the 3 Keys to Success for starting this year off right, even amidst all the uncertainty
You can do this, and I'm excited to help!
The challenge runs for four days from Thursday, July 23-Sunday, July 26.
Each day I'm sharing a video with participants as well as inviting questions and success stories…
Also participants get to be present for the Live Challenge Wrap up on Sunday!
And I'm doing something I've never done before in a challenge, handing out MVP awards!
I know we can start this year off on a positive note, regardless of whatever else is happening.
Prove to yourself that you can do it – join our challenge!
Click the following link:
weturnedoutokay.com/pandemicchallenge
Challenge starts Thursday, July 23.
See you then!
I am excited to bring Shannon Connery, PhD, onto the show today, because she's got lots of great ideas to help you keep going! (Click here for Shannon's website, where you'll find her podcast, her blog, and a wonderful free guide that she offers to help people overcome the challenges that we all have in our lives : )
Shannon is a therapist living in Colorado, and in our conversation today you'll hear her story of losing nearly everything – and coming back stronger from that experience.
Shannon is also a podcaster, and her Fix Yourself is one of my favorites – she helps us all know what to do when we encounter difficult events and struggles in our lives. Shannon shares so much about herself, and her feelings, and what she's tried that works to keep going and to help her family members and patients thrive.
Today we talk about:
– The role of empathy and positivity in helping you keep going
– Steps we are taking (and that you can also take) to dismantle racism
– What Shannon is doing to help those that she works with through the pandemic
Join us!
Video of our conversations – as well as lots of key links from this conversation – are available at weturnedoutokay.com/339
A couple notes from the preshow segment:
– Registration is now open for the private coaching practice for parents that I run (the Ninja Parenting Community), so you can join now if you need the extra help from a child development expert, and the support of a wonderful online community!
weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC
– All throughout July I'm offering free live trainings, and even a free challenge! Get notified of these at the following link:
weturnedoutokay.com/weekly
Today we're answering your GREAT questions!
– "[My young daughter] is going through a phase of not wanting clothes on. Do I just not battle it? What's appropriate at 4? How do I instill the importance of being careful without taking away her sweet innocence? Or am I totally overthinking this?"
– "This week's hot topic is sharing and temper around that. The minute [my three-year-old's] little brother walks in the room (even if he hasn't messed with her stuff yet) she goes right to screaming at him and throwing stuff… I'm struggling with getting her to react in a bit calmer way.
"Understandably, she is having a lot of trouble letting other kids play with any of her toys. I get it, we haven't had to share in a long time. I'm just wondering if there are some good strategies or advice for starting back at square one was sharing, and also talking nicely to others even when angry."
– "My four-year-old was playing with her toys saying "this one is dead, it's in the dead place" (inside the toy garage) then when I needed a shower "Mummy you need to go to the shower and be dead"… How can I talk about death at an appropriate level for children?"
– "They don't stop fighting with each other – they push each other's buttons just for "the fun of it."
(I said they were great questions : )
If You're Struggling to Keep Going
During this summer I'm using my newsletter to share about my own journey, trying to find peace and stop feeling so guilty while working, running our household, and keeping going sustainably.
Last week I shared about my first step (stopping "obsessively checking" on the Internet, and (as I share in this episode) it's going well!
But I know I've got a long way to go… If you want to come along on this journey with me, I'm sharing about it in my newsletters. Click the link below to get them automagically delivered to your inbox!
Weturnedoutokay.com weekly
Tons of links today!
You'll find them - as well as a cheat sheet of answers to these questions - at weturnedoutokay.com/338