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The We Turned Out Okay Podcast

What kind of hijinks did you get up to as a kid? Did you climb trees? Did you run around outside barefoot? Did you eat raw cookie dough? Maybe you wanted to do these and other crazy things, but you weren't allowed… Let me ask you this: what if your children wanted to? Would you let them? If you hesitate there, well, you're in the right place. The We Turned Out Okay podcast is where we learn the hows and whys of hovering less and enjoying our young children more. You get to learn from host Karen Lock Kolp's mistakes, but especially from the successes of her guests. Each helpful, lively conversation illustrates why this show really is "The Modern Guide to Old-School Parenting."
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Now displaying: 2018
Dec 11, 2018

FREE copies of 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know!

Get your free copy of my latest parenting book in one of two ways:
The e-book is FREE in Amazon all this week!
Click here for your free copy, now through Saturday 12/15/18!

I'm giving away 2 paperback copies during the Facebook live Ask Me Anything I'm doing on Wednesday, December 12, 2018 at 2 PM EST. Click here to go to my Facebook page! And you may be the recipient of a free copy of 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know!

 

When a coaching client of mine recently posted an article by today's guest in our Ninja Parenting Community forums, I was introduced to one of the great positive parenting forces of our time: Dr. Laura Markham.

As soon as I visited her Aha Parenting website, and read some of the advice Dr. Laura shares, I knew you needed to be introduced to her too!

Today our conversation gets into vulnerability, trust, and resiliency. Dr. Laura helps us really enjoy our lives, and our kids.

I hope our conversation helps you gain a better understanding of this whole parenting thing. It sure helped me!

Temper Tantrums and Potty Training:

During today's break I share about two helpful free guides I offer.
While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are super quick.

You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately handle the temper tantrums or get started with potty training (depending on which guide you choose : )

  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to handle every temper tantrum
  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to successfully potty train your child

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/255 for:

  • Links to Dr. Laura's website, which contains tons of resources for you
  • The link to the WTOO Facebook page where Wednesday 12/12 I'm doing a Facebook live Ask Me Anything to kick off the launch of my latest book, 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know, officially out today!!
  • The video of the week: "How to get my kids to stop fighting with each other"

And thank you so much for listening!

Dec 4, 2018

HEADS UP: At the top of the show, we say we're going to tell you if we go into PG-13 territory. In the second half of this episode, I share about being sexually abused at age 7. You may want to listen away from your littles, or with headphones.

"Is it shyness or bad manners?" When a member of our private coaching community asked this question during a live members-only call recently, I knew I needed to get you a show about handling stranger anxiety.

We've got 12 ways for you to handle your child's stranger anxiety… and we talk about how stranger anxiety isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I hope this is a helpful episode as you head into the holiday season, and your young child is meeting lots of new people!

Temper Tantrums and Potty Training:

During today's break I share about two wonderful free guides I offer.
While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are quick-and-effective.

You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately handle the temper tantrums or get started with potty training (depending on which guide you choose : )

  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to handle every temper tantrum
  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to successfully potty train your child

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/254 for:

  • A cheat sheet on the 12 ways to handle stranger anxiety
  • Links to the articles I quote from today
  • The link to the WTOO Facebook page where Wednesday 12/12 I'm doing a Facebook live Ask Me Anything to kick off the launch of my latest book, 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know, officially out today!!
  • The video of the week: "My child is anxious around new people"

And thank you so much for listening!

Nov 27, 2018

Today I share how the stress I was under 7 1/2 years ago resulted in a lifelong tendon disorder.

I was so busy running our household and putting everyone else first, I did not pay attention to my health.

I really want you to learn from my mistake.

Today's show focuses on how our stress isn't just bad for us. It's bad for our kids, too.

We also dig into the stresses of "intensive" parenting (a.k.a. helicopter or lawnmower parenting). And as you'll see, that form of parenting stresses everybody out.

(Know what else stresses everybody out? Potty training, and temper tantrums… During today's break I share about a free guide I offer for each of these stressors:

  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to handle every temper tantrum
  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to successfully potty train your child)

In this episode I offer three ways for you to be less stressed, not just now as we get into the holiday season (and everyone is pretty well at the end of their rope) but about how you can be less stressed over the long haul.

It's Part 3 of the "how to raise successful, fulfilled, happy people" series, and I hope it helps you enjoy the time you spend with your littles!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/253 for:

  • A cheat sheet on the 3 ways you can alleviate stress
  • Links to the articles I quote from today
  • What's up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : )
  • The video of the week: "Good behavior at meals, good behavior at the park"

And thank you so much for listening!

Nov 21, 2018

Thanksgiving is supposed to be fun, right? It's time with family, one last deep breath before December's insanity.

But when our kids were small I used to worry.

It's such a big meal. It takes such preparations. And it goes on for such a long time… How could I keep my boys quiet and happy on this day?

Then, there were the issues of stranger anxiety, and of small kids in a crowded space, with lots of treasured knickknacks and plants for them to hurt or break "on accident"… How could I give them a sense of security, and everyone else the sense that "here's a kid who won't destroy everything in sight"?

In this bonus episode I give you 5 ways to alleviate these problems, just in time for tomorrow's celebrations!

I am SO thankful.

This is Ninja Parenting Community (NPC) member Jen, with her two little girls. Jen is a rockstar member of NPC! She brings not just great questions, but help and support for other members, a "parenting can be fun" sensibility, and also adorable pictures like this one. I am so grateful for Jen.

In this episode I share an announcement about something happening right now: the "I'm thankful" special, where you can join our exclusive parent coaching community for just $1 for the first month.

One member of the Ninja Parenting Community (NPC for short) recently shared in our forums:
"What a difference this has made!!!… I truly cannot thank you enough."

When she wrote those words I felt so grateful. To know that the work I do strengthens the bond between a parent and child; to know that I have expertise that brings families together?
Nothing feels better than that to me.

I am so thankful, and I want to share that gratitude with you.

If you've been thinking about jumping into NPC, but but you weren't sure that membership would be worthwhile, reread those words from NPC member Mama Llama above.

This is PJ Jonas and family; PJ, my guest in episode 173, shared so much about getting to the fun parts of family life. I'm so grateful for our conversation.

And then:

Imagine a December in which, when your young child acts up, you've got a place to come and get help right away.

Imagine bringing your kids to a family gathering without being fearful of what their behavior could be.

Imagine that instead of feeling gut-wrenching worry, instead of the guilt or sadness you feel when you shout or spank your little one, you could enjoy this special family time.

Then: click here to try NPC, for just $1, for your whole first month.

The "I'm grateful" special also includes a special discounted rate for every consecutive month you're in NPC (you can cancel at any time, so there's no risk)…

So make your dreams of happy family time a reality by clicking the link above!

(This offer ends the Thursday after Thanksgiving, Nov. 29. I know you don't want to miss out!
Click the link above today.)

Happy listening, and happy Thanksgiving!

Nov 20, 2018

I did a happy dance a few weeks ago when I read that American Academy of Pediatrics has revised its guidelines on spanking and corporal punishment. This 67,000-doctor organization is coming out strongly against spanking, humiliating, and frightening children as discipline.

Today I'm rebroadcasting my conversation with former AAP president, Dr. Benard Dreyer. Dr. Dreyer gave such wonderful advice for parents as we raise our kids, and to my surprise it's been more than 2 years since this interview first aired! Time flies.

In the preshow, before our conversation, I read from the newspaper article that had me doing my happy dance, "Spanking is harmful, ineffective, group says."

Hope you enjoy this episode, and that it helps you remember to keep your discipline positive!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/252 for:

  • The link to the article about the AAP's stance on spanking
  • What's up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : )
  • The video of the week: Off this week, returning after Thanksgiving

And thank you so much for listening!

Nov 13, 2018

"What's a reasonable consequence for when I ask my young child to stop running away, and he doesn't stop, at the park?"
This is the gist of a recent question from one mom in our We Turned Out Okay Facebook group.

I shared what I think is a pretty good answer… and then other parents in the group shared their ideas. These ideas were so great – and so different from mine – that I knew I needed to talk about this issue on the podcast.

So, hope you enjoy this episode, dedicated to helping you set limits, and enjoy more of your time, when you are at a park or playground or out in the world with your young child!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/251 for:

  • A breakdown of how you can reign in your young child, without overdoing it or losing your mind
  • What's up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : )
  • The video of the week: "Good behavior at meals, good behavior at the park"
  • The sign-up for our upcoming 'When to potty train, How to potty train' free online class

And thank you so much for listening!

Nov 6, 2018

The term "parenting style" feels so nebulous.

But what if your parenting style – what you do in day-to-day interactions with your young child – makes it harder for you to connect, to be happy as you raise your family?

What if it affected, not just your young one's childhood, but their whole life?

Framed like that, the parenting style we bring isn't so much nebulous, as important.
Key, even.

Today's episode digs into the 3 different parenting styles, how they affect your child's life, and yours.

It's part two of our "raising successful, fulfilled kids" series, and I hope it's useful for you!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/250 for:

  • A cheat sheet on these 3 parenting styles
  • What's up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : )
  • The video of the week: "Am I smothering my child with love?"
  • The sign-up for our upcoming 'When to potty train, How to potty train' free online class

And thank you so much for listening!

Oct 30, 2018

Do you sometimes feel like you are raising your family in mighty frightening times?
So do I.

That's why, when I learned about the thing of beauty this week's guest created to combat fear, I knew I had to bring her on the show!

Mom, quilter, poet, and personal friend Cathleen Dinsmore recently created an amazing quilt-and-poem combination. The quilt is breathtaking – and, combined with the poem, fosters conversation around fear, and hope, and justice.

At weturnedoutokay.com you can view Cathleen's amazing quilt, read the beautiful poem, and prepare to be inspired by the incredible impact one person can have on alleviating fear and inspiring hope.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/249 for:

  • A look at Cathleen's racial justice quilt, her accompanying poem, and TONS of links that come up in today's conversation
  • What's up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : )
  • The video of the week: "Helping when Halloween scares your young child"

And thank you so much for listening!

Oct 23, 2018

I am SO excited to bring you today's show!
I have good friend and colleague, Tricia Tomaso, a veteran preschool teacher and holder of a master's degree in special education.
Recently, Tricia helped me figure out the right mindset and steps parents can take while potty training – her amazing ideas come up in my Successful Potty Training Under Pressure course, in fact – and she has graciously agreed to come on the show and answer YOUR questions.

So! Today we take questions on:
– What to do if your child hits you, especially repeatedly
– How to handle it if you are a relatively low energy parent, and your child is a high-energy kid
– If you're worried that you are overinvolved with your kids
– And more!

Buckle in, this is a really fun and useful ride today!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/248 for:

  • A summary of each "ask the expert" question and answer
  • What's up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : )
  • The video of the week: "I'm exhausted from doing too much for my kid"

And thank you so much for listening!

Oct 16, 2018

Today's show dives into something difficult to imagine, when your kids are so young and your focus is on stuff like temper tantrums, sibling fights, and picky eaters.

We can wonder, what miracle will occur, just in the next decade or so, to change my kid from being so young and helpless, to someone who can lead a successful, fulfilled, and happy life?

Today, I'm beginning a deep dive into the idea of raising successful and fulfilled kids.

The idea was born years ago, when friends would lament the idea of the lack of business and entrepreneurship education in K-12 school.

Then several months ago it crystallized, when a friend, thinking he was motivating his child, changed his boy's internally-motivated entrepreneurial activity to one with strings attached (the boy wouldn't get his weekly allowance unless he worked on this previously for-fun, now parent mandated business activity.)

Today I share how you can avoid making this mistake.
Because it IS a huge mistake – and the repercussions can ripple out over your child's entire adult life.

This is one we really need to get right, so listen in and find out how.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/247 for:

  • A cheat sheet on the 4 steps outlined in his episode that you can take to avoid this mistake
  • What's up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : )
  • The video of the week: "Introverted parent, extroverted child"

And thank you so much for listening!

Oct 9, 2018

Diane Hessan always knew she wanted to work full-time, while raising her daughters. Today she shares what that was really like, and how her life's work prepared her to fulfill a super important role in today's frightening and demoralizing political climate.

Nowadays, Diane speaks daily with 500 American voters. These are people from every area of the country, every walk of life, every creed, every color. And as she connects with them Diane is learning important lessons that she takes into her own life.

Listen to our conversation today to discover what these lessons are, so you can enjoy your life, and be helpful to those around you at the same time!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/246 for:

  • Links that come up in our conversation today
  • What's up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : )
  • The 3 most important things to remember from today's conversation

And thank you so much for listening!

Oct 2, 2018

When should you start potty training your child?

[caption id="attachment_1787" align="alignleft" width="150"] Don't you wish your kid looked this happy sitting on a potty?[/caption]

How should you potty train your child?

I've done some research on these two questions, and let me tell you, they are asked really often in Google.

Is this on your mind? Or, are you already trying to potty train, but hitting serious roadblocks?
Then, today's episode is for you!

In it I share 3 ways to know if your child is ready for potty training, and also 3 tips on how to actually accomplish this feat.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/245 for:

  • A positive way forward in potty training your young child
  • The intro video to this epic course I just created, Successful Potty Training Under Pressure. You can watch the intro and see if the course would be helpful for you!
  • The 3 most important things to remember about potty training

And thank you so much for listening!

PS Today I share about a course I just finished that I'm really proud of!
It's called Successful Potty Training Under Pressure, a comprehensive guide to potty training your young child in even the most difficult of circumstances, and you can check it out by clicking here.
Or if you'd rather, get the first lesson FREE! Click here to have Lesson 1, "How to make this take the shortest amount of time possible," dropped right into your inbox!

Sep 25, 2018

Recently one of the moms in my parent coaching community wrote in to share that her 4-year-old sons were about to start school… in a preschool-through-12th-grade school where corporal punishment is used.

"I can't imagine [my boys] doing anything that would warrant a paddling, but I could not make myself check that box saying it was okay," she wrote in our forums.

She then shared that, if parents check the "no, don't spank my kid" box, children are exposed to other punishments such as a 3-day suspension and zeros on any assignments missed!

I was shocked. In every state there are laws against striking people in prisons and in the military; in most every state it's illegal to strike an animal.

But it turns out that in 19 states, it's okay to strike a child in school.

Come down the rabbit hole with me, into the world of corporal punishment.
It's a world that might be much closer to you than you ever imagined.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/244 for:

  • Links to the articles I discuss today
  • The video I made recently about what to do when your young child wants to do everything all by him or herself… but can't, and then has a fit
  • Also to hear my story about being in a flash flood this week!! I talk about that during the break. It was scary, that's for sure!

And thank you so much for listening!

Sep 18, 2018

You'll love today's conversation

if you look at your little kids and can't imagine how they could possibly become functioning – never mind happy or successful – adults.

Dad and author Jonathan Greene shares wisdom, and great stories, with us today!

Our conversation is all about how Jonathan went from being a latchkey kid – who was routinely mugged, and didn't let it bother him – to a hovering father of young children.

Today he's a dad of teens who's formed really great bonds with his son and daughter, and shares today about the choices he made that helped develop those bonds.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/243 for this week's YouTube video about what to do when your child is sneaking candy and treats that they know are off limits, for the podcast back catalog and all the great links that come up in today's episode.

And thanks for listening!

Shout out to all you We Turned Out Okay Patreon patrons!

Patrons get exclusive content, EXTRA Magic Words for Parents videos, early access to my forthcoming book, Your Child Explained Vol 1, and lots more help and advice that regular listeners can only dream of.

Click Patreon.com/weturnedoutokay to find out how you can get these benefits too!

Sep 11, 2018

"Today my 2.5-year-old and his Dad were in a car accident… This happened around 1 PM today and my son has been talking about it and asking questions all evening. I'm trying to answer in simple clear terms but I feel over my head. It feels like a punch in the gut every time it comes up again."
So wrote one of our Ninja Parenting Community members over the summer. Scary stuff!

Helping her process her young child's trauma, and helping her through her own, has been a real focus of mine ever since.

So it seemed only right to share these lessons with you!
That way you'll be prepared if something traumatic happens that involves your children.

Tune in to find out 3 ways to help your young child process trauma - and read about these 3 ways, find the entire back catalog of the podcast, watch my recent YouTube video about how to make big parenting decisions, and check out lots more stuff at weturnedoutokay.com/242 ...

And thanks for listening!

Sep 6, 2018

"[My husband and I, and our little daughter] are rushing out the door and late to work most mornings. I'm looking forward to participating in the challenge to figure out how to get to work on time!"

"With kindergarten I feel like I'm about to toss [my daughter] to the wolves. I'm worried I will have to practically push her through the door. How can I help her overcome her fear and her habitual morning anxiety?"

Do you, like these listeners, struggle with chaotic mornings? If so sign up here for the Streamline Your Mornings challenge, going on all next week September 10-14!

Each day you will learn one new tactic to eliminate the stress and frustration that mornings can bring, so you can calmly and confidently enjoy your mornings with your kids.

Stop the morning madness!

Listen to this quickie episode to learn more about the Streamline Your Mornings challenge… And then:
Click the link below to join this challenge:
weturnedoutokay.com/streamline

Sep 4, 2018

To wrap up our Back-to-School Bootcamp series we take a look today at milestones, guidelines, and goals in our kids' education.

How important is it to have a 20,000-foot view of a young child's life?
What kind of goals should you set, and what kind of milestones should you look for?

That's what today's episode is all about.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/241 for notes to this episode...

Sign up for the upcoming Streamline Your Mornings challenge by clicking here: weturnedoutokay.com/streamline!

And click here for an advanced chapter of my forthcoming book, Your Child Explained Volume 1… 

And thank you so much for listening!

Aug 28, 2018

Glad you are here for Module 3 of our Back-to-School Bootcamp!

Today we follow up on last week's discussion of what to do about school or childcare problems, so listen back to that one if you're wondering "how do I handle THIS?"

Many of us wonder "what is my role in my child's education, how can I best help?" I've got three crucial actions you must take so your child can thrive!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/240 for more on these 3 steps, help getting your child to love reading, and links to back episodes of everything…

And thank you so much for listening!

[Please note: Magic Words for Parents, our series of quick phrases to help you say the right thing even in the toughest parenting moments, is on vacation until September 10… Click here for the playlist of past Magic Words in YouTube, and click here for the EXTRA Magic Words videos … get exclusive access by becoming a We Turned Out Okay Patreon patron.]

Aug 21, 2018

Glad you are here for Module 2 of our Back-to-School Boot camp!

Today we follow up on last week's determination of readiness, so listen back to that one if you're wondering "is my child ready for this?"

Problems can crop up whether your child is "ready" for this step or not, so I've got three crucial steps you need to take to handle challenges!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/239 for more on these 3 steps, help getting your child to love reading, and links to back episodes of everything…

And thank you so much for listening!

[Please note: Magic Words for Parents, our series of quick phrases to help you say the right thing even in the toughest parenting moments, is on vacation until September 10… Click here for the playlist of past Magic Words in YouTube, and click here for the EXTRA Magic Words videos … get exclusive access by becoming a We Turned Out Okay Patreon patron.]

Aug 14, 2018

We've got a great August coming up for you,

a whole series of new episodes on overcoming the perils of back-to-school!

Starting with today's episode, in which I share three ways to know if your child is ready – for preschool, for kindergarten, for first or second grade, for relocating to a new school… You name it and we cover it in this episode.

If, after you listen, you're thinking "maybe my kid ISN'T ready for this…" Hang onto your hats for next week. That is when we will discuss what to do if you're not sure your child is ready for whatever's in store!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/238 for help getting your child to love reading, to take my survey on your biggest back-to-school challenge, and links to back episodes of everything…

And thank you so much for listening!

[Please note: Magic Words for Parents, our series of quick phrases to help you say the right thing even in the toughest parenting moments, is on vacation until September 10… Click here for the playlist of past Magic Words in YouTube, and click here for the EXTRA Magic Words videos … get exclusive access by becoming a We Turned Out Okay Patreon patron.]

Aug 7, 2018

Talking with returning champion KJ Dell'Antonia

is always a pleasure, and this episode is maybe my favorite conversation with her yet!

KJ has got a book coming out later this month, and if you're feeling the pressures of parenting, you are going to LOVE her book, How to be a Happier Parent.

Like so many of my favorite conversations, this one zooms around and goes in directions that I didn't envision when we sat down to talk.

And every direction offers something valuable for you to take into your parenting life.

We talk about:

  • Why parents need something of their own – something separate from your kids – to enjoy
  • How (and why) after-school activities and sports got so crazy
  • KJ's two key steps to handling the big, bad pressures on us parents.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/237 for the TONS of links that come up in our conversation, and also to read more about KJ's 2-step process to deal with those pressures…

And thank you so much for listening!

Aug 2, 2018

What's toughest for you about this time of year?

Maybe it's your worries about how your child will handle the upcoming school year

Or maybe it's just that you can't stand the thought of the crazy schedule changes that are coming your way…

Or maybe you're worrying about how to work with teachers or administrators?

I'm creating a Back to School Bootcamp to directly address your toughest struggles!

We'll have new Bootcamp podcast episodes all throughout August to get you the help you need, here at the beginning of the school year, PLUS a free guide teaching 6 ways to help your kids love reading…

It all starts with you sharing what drives you most nuts at this time of year.

Click here to fill out my super-quick, 3-question back-to-school survey, so I can help you best in these upcoming weeks!

Cheers!

PS Want to help your child love reading? Click here for the guide : )

Jul 31, 2018

Welcome to Part 5 of our series on how to have good weeknights with your kids!

Click here for our FREE Tame the Weeknight Chaos Guide

Today we are talking about what to do when things go wrong with even the best-planned weeknight..

I've got 3 easy steps that you can use to overcome the frustrations, troubleshoot the problems that come up, and truly enjoy weeknights with your children!

Watch this video for more on these steps to solve weeknight issues:

 

Want my concise roadmap to good weeknights with your kids? Get the Tame the Weeknight Chaos video and checklist today!
Get the guide – and also watch the video module I made to accompany this episode, plus the video I made this week about what to do when your young child hits you  – at:
weturnedoutokay.com/236

Thanks and happy listening!

Jul 24, 2018

Welcome to Part 4 of our series on how to have good weeknights with your kids!

Click here for the FREE Tame the Weeknight Chaos Guide

Today we are talking about how to say positive, weeknight after weeknight, even when you are burned out on family time..

I've got 3 easy steps that you can use to overcome the feeling of being fed up and instead truly enjoy weeknights with your children!

Watch this video for more on these steps to overcome weeknight burnout:

Want my concise roadmap to good weeknights with your kids? Get the Tame the Weeknight Chaos video and checklist today!
Get the guide – and also watch the video module I made to accompany this episode, plus the videos I made this week about stopping kids' annoying behavior and what to do when your child is jumping on the couch to attract your attention at the WORST possible time – at:
weturnedoutokay.com/235

Thanks and happy listening!

Jul 17, 2018

Welcome to Part 3 of our Taming the Weeknight Chaos series!

Click here for the FREE Tame the Weeknight Chaos Guide, including Video & Checklist

Today we are talking about how to start weeknights off right.

I've got 3 easy steps that you can use to get a peaceful and enjoyable start to this very evening!

Want my complete, free Guide to Taming Weeknight chaos, which includes a 6-point checklist and a video?
Get the guide – and also watch the video module I made to accompany this episode – at:
weturnedoutokay.com/234

Thanks and happy listening!

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