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The We Turned Out Okay Podcast

What kind of hijinks did you get up to as a kid? Did you climb trees? Did you run around outside barefoot? Did you eat raw cookie dough? Maybe you wanted to do these and other crazy things, but you weren't allowed… Let me ask you this: what if your children wanted to? Would you let them? If you hesitate there, well, you're in the right place. The We Turned Out Okay podcast is where we learn the hows and whys of hovering less and enjoying our young children more. You get to learn from host Karen Lock Kolp's mistakes, but especially from the successes of her guests. Each helpful, lively conversation illustrates why this show really is "The Modern Guide to Old-School Parenting."
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The We Turned Out Okay Podcast
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Nov 21, 2017

This is one conversation I have been SUPER excited to bring you for a really long time!

During my talk with Ignore It! author Dr. Catherine Pearlman, a.k.a. The Family Coach, she answers listener questions, talks about what works to stop bullying, and most importantly comes up with tons of ways that you can curb your child's bad behavior and REALLY enjoy life with your kids to the fullest.

Key links at weturnedoutokay.com/197 – happy listening!

Nov 14, 2017

A podcast listener wrote to me recently with a a really good and important question:

"We see all kinds of ways for girls to deal with being assaulted, how to prevent it, how to heal, support groups and the like… How do we teach boys to keep their hands to themselves or what not to say?" She's got a two-year-old boy and she does not want him to grow up into harasser or an abuser.

I based this episode on the awesome and wonderful responses I got when I asked this listener's question on my Facebook page.

In today's episode identify 4 key steps we as parents need to take in order to raise children who both do not grow up to be harassers or abusers, and who successfully resist being harassed or abused.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/196 to see these steps written down, and for key links!

Nov 9, 2017

Today is one of my very favorite kinds of shows, a Parent-Coaching Call with an NPC member!

– – A HUGE tree fell in our yard during a buck wild nor'easter last week, and we lost power for days! (Click here to check out the video I made of the tree!) All back now and everything is okay… But I had to delay the start of our epic "How to Help Your Child Navigate the Choppy Social Waters of Life Without Getting Pulled Under Yourself or Losing Your Mind" mastercourse.
The first live module now goes up on Tuesday, November 14, giving you until Monday, November 13 to enroll!
If you can't make it to the modules live, you'll always be able to catch them in our password-protected online classroom - plus ask questions over the whole 6 weeks of the mastercourse in our private Survive the Social Stuff Facebook group, exclusively for those enrolled in the course.…
To learn more and sign up go to weturnedoutokay.com/socialstuff! – –

In each parent-coaching call, NPC members disclose their struggles and I put my years of experience with young children and degrees in early childhood education and human development/family relations to work, figuring out exactly what steps will help most (and fastest).
It's an exclusive benefit for members of my private coaching community, and the great thing is that even if you're not a member, you get answers to mind-bending parenting conundrums as well!

Here are the issues that Jen is seeing with her 5-and 3-year-old daughters:
1) What to do about endless whining, when all the tools in the toolbox have been tried – redirection is not working, making no sound like yes is not working, and her head is about ready to explode?

2) What to do when the girls take one or two bites out of an apple and then want to throw the rest of the apple away, or similar food conundrums, usually having to do with snacks, especially those that "don't portion out well"

If either of these seems familiar, you are going to LOVE this episode.

NPC members: view the expanded notes and action steps – and read about how Jen did with these issues – by clicking here (just remember you must be logged in to view).
Not a member of the Ninja Parenting Community? Click here.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/195 key links : )

Nov 7, 2017

– – A HUGE tree fell in our yard during a buck wild nor'easter last week, and we lost power for days! (Click here to check out the video I made of the tree!) All back now and everything is okay… But I had to delay the start of our epic "How to Help Your Child Navigate the Choppy Social Waters of Life Without Getting Pulled Under Yourself or Losing Your Mind" mastercourse.
The first live module now goes up on Tuesday, November 14, giving you until Monday, November 13 to enroll!
If you can't make it to the modules live, you'll always be able to catch them in our password-protected online classroom - plus ask questions over the whole 6 weeks of the mastercourse in our private Survive the Social Stuff Facebook group, exclusively for those enrolled in the course.…
To learn more and sign up go to weturnedoutokay.com/socialstuff! – –

Today's conversation is one of those awesome ones that went in a completely different direction than I had thought it would.
I knew we were going to talk about racism, and parenting, and how New York Times best-selling author Joshilyn Jackson teaches creative writing to prisoners – but when, early on in our conversation, Joshilyn shared "I didn't have any empathy until I became a mom," my heart just stopped.

How could that possibly be, I wondered?

And so we raced off into a discussion that will help you understand empathy as a crucial parenting skill, perhaps the most important ninja tactic of all.

You are going to LOVE it.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/194 for key links : )

Nov 2, 2017

It's agonizing to watch your child go through the social stuff of life.

You know what I'm talking about:
When you spend your days stopping angry sibling fights, as if you were a boxing referee.
When one of them gets made fun of at school – or worse, bullied.
When they get broken up with by a friend.
When they have a crush on a fellow eight-year-old and say to you "who could love a face like this?"

If your heart breaks or you feel shellshocked when something like this happens, you are not alone.

I'm offering a new approach that gives you the power to support your child, set aside your inner demons, and be happier in your parenting.
It's a new 6-week mastercourse, and it changes everything:

How to Help Your Child Navigate the Choppy Social Waters of Life Without Losing Your Mind or Getting Pulled Under Yourself
Click the course title or go to weturnedoutokay.com/socialstuff to learn more…

Space is Limited!! Sign up now to save your spot – LOTS of listeners struggle with the social stuff and spots will go fast!

The course starts this coming Tuesday, November 7…
And you can go to the course's secret Facebook group immediately upon registering and paying!

You'll learn:
– How to help your child navigate the social landscape
– Strategies for helping your child stand up to a bully, deal with sibling rivalry, and gain social confidence and competence
– Why your agony and heartbreak over your child's struggles may be hurting him or her socially
– How to feel better within yourself while helping your child feel better

Come get started on this new approach right away –
Sign up now!

Oct 31, 2017

Today, I answer a listener question about how to buckle in a squirming child who doesn't want to be in a car seat. And then I tackle something that makes us all squirm…

The unhappy social stuff in our kids' lives.

You know what I'm talking about:
When you spend your days stopping angry sibling fights, as if you were a boxing referee.
When one of them gets made fun of at school – or worse, bullied.
When they get broken up with by a friend.
When they have a crush on a fellow eight-year-old and say to you "who could love a face like this?"

If your heart breaks – or you feel shellshocked – when something like this happens, you are not alone.

You need to learn about the new approach that gives you the power to support your child, set aside your inner demons, and be happier in your parenting.
This new 6-week mastercourse changes everything:

How to Help Your Child Navigate the Choppy Social Waters of Life Without Losing Your Mind or Getting Pulled Under Yourself
Click the course title or go to weturnedoutokay.com/socialstuff to learn more…

Space is Limited!! Sign up now to save your spot – LOTS of listeners struggle with the social stuff and spots will go fast!

The course starts this coming Tuesday, November 7…
And you can go to the course's secret Facebook group immediately upon registering and paying!

Come get started on this new approach right away –
Sign up now!

Find out how to handle squirmy social stuff in today's episode and go to weturnedoutokay.com/193 for key links.

Oct 26, 2017

Listen to today's episode for a quick and easy way to cut down on your child's bad behavior : )

– – – New Course Offering: It's agonizing to watch your child go through the social stuff of life; getting called a mean name or crybaby; getting "broken up with" by a friend, encountering sibling strife. It upsets us parents because 1) our heart breaks for our beautiful child, and 2) we don't know what to do to help..
I'm offering something new and different that will create a new opportunity for you:
The Surviving the Social Stuff course. It's tailored to participants' needs, so whatever social stuff is going on in your child's life – THAT'S what you'll learn how to handle.
It's super helpful as we get into the high-emotion holidays, with weekly class meetings starting Tuesday, November 7 and running right through into January.
Space is limited!!
So, if you're struggling with anything social in your child's life, Click Here to sign up..
Then you'll be feeling less alone and learning new ways to Survive the Social Stuff! – – –

For key links, go to weturnedoutokay.com/192!

Oct 24, 2017

Each fall as the nights get longer and Halloween gets close, spooky feelings crop up. They can be fun, but for kids these feelings also be downright frightening.

Today I'm excited to bring you my conversation with my youngest, Jason, who remembers well the feeling of being afraid of the dark and shares really great advice for helping your kids cope with their fears.

We talk about all kinds of Halloweeny stuff, and also:
– Einstein's view of the world
– Why validating a kid's fears is the gateway to helping them feel less afraid
– Jay's all-important question:
"How does pretending an avocado is alive show a mastery of empathy?"

… Just to give you an idea of the kind of conversations we have around here : )

Key links, including the one about Surviving the Social Stuff, the course that will help you feel less alone AND help your child navigate scary social waters, at weturnedoutokay.com/191!

Oct 21, 2017

Sexually abused at age 7, I consider myself not a victim, but a survivor.
In today's bonus episode, brought on by the #MeToo movement, I share the most important tool in my healing – and the conviction that, if you or a loved one has been sexually abused or harassed, there is help and hope for a good life (even a great one).

Click here for key links, and please consider sharing this episode if you feel like it will help somebody in your life feel better. Thanks, and thanks for listening!

Oct 17, 2017

Given their small stature and relative powerlessness, the idea of something as powerFUL as a gun captivates young children. But in the violent world we live in, their fascination can seem to us morbid and frightening…
All the more so in the wake of mass shootings like the one just a few weeks ago in Las Vegas.
Today's show gives you concrete ideas about how to raise a nonviolent child in our violent world, and how to feel better if you, like me, share your home with a pint-sized gun enthusiast.

Key links at weturnedoutokay.com/190;
Click here to get concrete help for the huge and important questions in your parenting, by checking out the Ninja Parenting Community!

Oct 12, 2017

In which a coaching client of mine shows me that something I'd always thought to be truly impossible is, in fact, possible.
It brings up the question "what happens to our children when we believe something is impossible?" Alternatively, what happens to them when we believe that something is possible?

Key links at weturnedoutokay.com/189;
Click here to learn more about the Ninja Parenting Community, if you're at your wit's end with your child, and need some help making the impossible become possible!

Oct 10, 2017

Today's guest knows that we live in a time where everything around us – the challenges, the technology, changing culture – can seem both terrifying and awesome.

Former psychotherapist and current creativity coach Mark McGuinness teaches how to embrace the awesome, and mitigate the terrifying with his podcast, 21st Century Creative, and today he brings wonderful ideas for you to enjoy more of your parenting in this turbulent time.

Mark also brings something new to We Turned Out Okay: a guest-challenge!
An expert at helping people find time to accomplish their goals, Mark drops the gauntlet, setting YOU a challenge in this episode.
Completing Mark's challenge not only can help you find time in your life for the things you love, but might just when you a copy of his book, Productivity for Creative People… Three copies of which Mark has graciously offered three lucky WTOO listeners.

Listen to find out what the challenge is, and how to enter the giveaway – which ends Tuesday, October 17, 2017!

To take up the challenge: sometime on or before October 17, 2017, go to weturnedoutokay.com/contact and tell me how you did with Mark's challenge…

More key links in the show notes at weturnedoutokay.com/188!

Oct 3, 2017

In which I identify 5 different ways you might feel about your child and schooling, on a continuum from 1) you knew going into school that your child had issues that impact education, and would need to be addressed to 5) you have no worries about potential issues, and the school reports no problems.
It doesn't matter which of these five spots on the continuum you occupy – the way to work with your child's teachers is the same, 3 steps to keep in mind that make every interaction with your child's caregivers easier.

To read about these three steps and for key links, go to weturnedoutokay.com/187.
And if you're having trouble thinking past mindset and into concrete steps to help you worry less and enjoy more, click here to find out about the Ninja Parenting Community. It's the place where I help parents solve their toughest challenges every day, so I know it'll be helpful for you too!

Sep 28, 2017

In which we talk about how, when we are so worried, we can also feel simultaneously frozen and stuck – and, when we feel that way, the effect on our kids is devastating.

Sign up for round 2 of the Streamline Your Mornings Free 5-Day Challenge (which you know you want to if weekday mornings are, well, challenging : ) and for key links to today's episode by going to weturnedoutokay.com/186.

Click here to find out more about the Ninja Parenting Community, the place where I help parents solve their toughest challenges every day.

Sep 26, 2017

When he was just five years old and a child in preschool, Nicole Olson's son was suffering. Lots of changes were going on in his world, and in the midst of dealing with them he "lost his personality."
Nicole had thought that, if only she checked all the right boxes and pushed him into all the right activities, academic and otherwise, that he'd be fine.
When she discovered that was not the case, she felt about the biggest load of parental guilt that one could feel…
That sad, depressed 5-year-old is now 14 and thriving. Today's episode shares their story, and will feel so relevant for you if you worry at all about how your child will learn to get along in this world.
We share about a million links, so click weturnedoutokay.com/185 to grab them, and to sign up for the Streamline Your Mornings 5-Day Free Challenge, which starts in less than a week!

Click here to find out more about the Ninja Parenting Community, the place where I help parents solve their toughest challenges every day.

Sep 21, 2017

Here at the beginning of the school year, teachers are doing their initial assessments, figuring out who of their students is how far along the literacy timeline.

It can be a worrisome time for us parents – what if our kids don't read when they're supposed to?
What if they tell you "reading is boring"?
What if they hate reading?

We all know that reading is THE key to our children's future success… but how do you get them to want to read?

Today's bonus episode digs into the two most important factors in getting children to be happy readers.

Click here to listen, and to sign up for the upcoming Streamline Your Mornings 5-Day Challenge, which starts Monday, October 2!

Sep 19, 2017

If you're struggling with back-to-school time, or starting-school time – I'm creating shows this month and next to help you feel better.

Today's is all about homework.

Over the years I've had parents share the most horrible stories about homework and their little kids, like the mom whose six-year-old received an afterschool detention for missing four homework assignments in a row.
That one still makes me choke a little.

Or the one about a child forced to miss recess because of a parent's failure to log in and do the required "family homework."

When medical ethicist Dr. Arthur Caplan comes on this show and says "recess is a right," as he did in this episode last spring, I smile at his words.

But my blood pressure goes up.
Way up, at the thought of you and your young son or daughter coping with outrageous, damaging policies like these.

So today I'm taking everything my own training and experience tells me, and everything the wonderful teachers and doctors and folks who really understand young children (and who've spoken up on my show) – and I'm boiling it down into three steps to help you handle crazy homework demands.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/184 for key links, and to read an outline of the three steps.
Also – Click here to sign up to join the Streamline Your Mornings Free 5-Day Challenge, which I'm offering again in early October!

Sep 14, 2017

With fall youth sports in full swing, I wanted to share something ugly that I witnessed last spring: a dad berating his young son, after the boy and his fellow teammates took a real drubbing, losing a soccer game big-time.

In this empathy-lacking, divisive grown-up-up world, what kids learn on the soccer field seems more important and relevant than ever before; listen to today's show to find out how a parent's attitude makes or breaks a child.

Click here to sign up for the upcoming Streamline Your Mornings Free 5-Day Challenge, which I'm bringing back for a second round because the first one was so effective and helpful for parents…

And go to weturnedoutokay.com/183 for key links to this episode!

Sep 12, 2017

Back when We Turned Out Okay turned 2, I asked you all for a gift: your questions!

Today I'm answering one of those questions, listener Caroline's about how to deal with medical issues in your child, and expanding out from "medical" advocacy by sharing, in the second half of today's episode, about how to advocate in other aspects of your child's life.

I am so happy to bring back medical ethicist Dr. Art Caplan to address Caroline's question, "Could you possibly give some advice about dealing with stressful situations in general and medical stuff, i.e. advocating for your child?"

Art outlines four key steps that parents can take when confronted with a child's illness, and in looking back I realized that those same steps would be wonderful when trying to advocate for kids in a variety of situations, socially, educationally, in addition to medically.

For an outline of these four steps to advocating for your child and related key links, go to weturnedoutokay.com/182!
Also – to download my free Guide to Happy Readers click here
Click here to sign up for the upcoming Streamline Your Mornings Free 5-Day Challenge, coming up October 2nd-6!

Sep 5, 2017

"With kindergarten," a listener shares, "I feel like I'm about to toss her to the wolves."

How are you handling the stresses of the autumn? If you've got a child starting school or preschool, or returning to school, daycare, or preschool, it can be really tough on both you and your kids.
That's why today is the first of a 3-part series, the We Turned Out Okay Back-to-School Guide.

Today I share the ONE thing you can do to make your child's separation anxiety better!

Please note: the Streamline Your Mornings Free 5-Day Challenge is underway, and thus closed to new participants.
If you want to get in on this challenge when I offer it next in October, go to weturnedoutokay.com/181 to sign up! (Go there as well for show notes and other key links to this Just You and Me Episode : )

Aug 31, 2017

It's the beginning of the school year, if you're listening in real time, and thus the time of year where we are all figuring out new routines, new bus routes, new sports schedules and after-school activities… Definitely a time where we can feel overwhelmed.

Today's show answers Shelley's question: "what are the hazards of overscheduling my kids?"

The way I see it, there are two big hazards in overscheduling.

It's worth, whether at the beginning of the school year or whenever you hear this, understanding the dangers in putting too many items on our children's schedules.

Only then can we understand the potential damage we're doing, and begin to figure out how to reduce the overscheduling.

Today's episode outlines the 2 big hazards in overscheduling, so hit play and listen in!

Please note: if you're feeling overwhelmed about school day morning chaos, the Streamline Your Mornings 5-Day Challenge starts in less than a week! Registration closes on Sunday, September 3, so sign up for this FREE challenge now.
The challenge includes an email in your inbox outlining a step you can take to calm the overwhelm and streamline your mornings every day from Monday, September 4 through Friday, September 8. On that day you'll also have access to my Facebook live, back-to-school Ask Me Anything, happening in the private We Turned Out Okay Facebook group.

For notes from today's show, for key links, and to sign up for the free Streamline Your Mornings 5-Day Challenge go to weturnedoutokay.com/180!

Aug 30, 2017

Are you feeling any of the following right now?

  • Worry about busy schoolday mornings, with the chaos of everyone trying to get up/get dressed/eat/get teeth and hair brushed/get lunches/get out the door/etc.?
  • Fears that, even though you've got a pretty good routine right now, that that could all change with one bad night or morning meltdown?
  • Guilt at being consistently – no matter what you try – super late out the door?
  • Helpless , as you send your child off into school, about "throwing your baby to the wolves?"

If so, I've got a way for you to feel better:

Join the Streamline Your Mornings 5-Day Challenge!
(It starts this coming Monday, September 4 and sign-ups close the day before, Sunday, September 3.)

This quick episode shares what the challenge includes and how participating in it will help you.

So give it a listen – and then click here to go to weturnedoutokay.com and click the picture to join the challenge!

Aug 29, 2017

Today's guest, author, artist, and speaker Dan Blank, knows an awful lot about fostering creativity. As dad to a six-year-old and a new baby, he also knows the struggles that creative people go through to retain their creativity – their sanity, even – while raising children.

For Dan it's a foregone conclusion: the way we humans are, right down to our very core, demands creativity. It's not something we can escape because it's part of us – everything feels off when we don't have a creative outlet.

But how do we accomplish that, while we're caught up in the daily demands of work, and raising children, and everything else?

That's what our conversation is all about today. I know you're going to love it!

For the full show notes and key links – and to sign up for the FREE Streamline Your Mornings challenge (Click here to sign up for the challenge), which will help you get a handle on the school day morning chaos and starts this coming Monday, September 4 – go to weturnedoutokay.com/179.

Aug 22, 2017

Do you ever wish your kids took on more around the house? Does the prospect of getting to that point seem so overwhelming that you give up before you've even started?

Today we're talking about the how to foster responsibility in kids – not an easy task!

The way I see it, there are 3 things we can do to encourage responsibility in our kids.

Listen to today's show to find out what they are and how to put them into practice!

Also – Click here to sign up for the FREE Streamline Your Mornings challenge, taking place the first full week of September, just a few weeks away… If school day mornings feel chaotic for you, jump into the challenge, which includes daily emails from Monday, 9/4-Friday, 9/8, entry into the private We Turned Out Okay Facebook group, and the ability to come to the back-to-school Facebook live I'm hosting on the last day of the challenge!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/178 for key links and notes to this episode, and to sign up for the challenge. And have a great day!

Aug 17, 2017

"My wife doesn't want me to spank them, I get it – I don't want to either but what else can I do?" These words come from a listener's email, a desperate plea to figure out how to discipline kids and keep order during the daily grind.

This listener goes on to say "I got spanked, and turned out okay… I got more than spanked to tell you the truth, and I know what the constant barrage of words being screamed at me feels like. To be honest, I'd rather have had the spanking."

This listener deftly identifies two things that do not work with kids:
1) a "constant barrage of words"
2) spanking.

So, what do you do instead?

Listen to this episode to find out!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/177 for key links, and Click here to sign up for the Streamline Your Mornings challenge, if school days are looming and those weekday mornings are looking frightening. This FREE challenge starts in just a few weeks, and once it starts the sign-ups are closed. So to make sure that you get an email every day of the challenge, entry into our We Turned Out Okay private Facebook group, and access to the Facebook live back-to-school Ask Me Anything I'll be doing on the last day of the challenge (September 8), jump in now.

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