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The We Turned Out Okay Podcast

What kind of hijinks did you get up to as a kid? Did you climb trees? Did you run around outside barefoot? Did you eat raw cookie dough? Maybe you wanted to do these and other crazy things, but you weren't allowed… Let me ask you this: what if your children wanted to? Would you let them? If you hesitate there, well, you're in the right place. The We Turned Out Okay podcast is where we learn the hows and whys of hovering less and enjoying our young children more. You get to learn from host Karen Lock Kolp's mistakes, but especially from the successes of her guests. Each helpful, lively conversation illustrates why this show really is "The Modern Guide to Old-School Parenting."
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The We Turned Out Okay Podcast
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Sep 18, 2018

You'll love today's conversation

if you look at your little kids and can't imagine how they could possibly become functioning – never mind happy or successful – adults.

Dad and author Jonathan Greene shares wisdom, and great stories, with us today!

Our conversation is all about how Jonathan went from being a latchkey kid – who was routinely mugged, and didn't let it bother him – to a hovering father of young children.

Today he's a dad of teens who's formed really great bonds with his son and daughter, and shares today about the choices he made that helped develop those bonds.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/243 for this week's YouTube video about what to do when your child is sneaking candy and treats that they know are off limits, for the podcast back catalog and all the great links that come up in today's episode.

And thanks for listening!

Shout out to all you We Turned Out Okay Patreon patrons!

Patrons get exclusive content, EXTRA Magic Words for Parents videos, early access to my forthcoming book, Your Child Explained Vol 1, and lots more help and advice that regular listeners can only dream of.

Click Patreon.com/weturnedoutokay to find out how you can get these benefits too!

Sep 11, 2018

"Today my 2.5-year-old and his Dad were in a car accident… This happened around 1 PM today and my son has been talking about it and asking questions all evening. I'm trying to answer in simple clear terms but I feel over my head. It feels like a punch in the gut every time it comes up again."
So wrote one of our Ninja Parenting Community members over the summer. Scary stuff!

Helping her process her young child's trauma, and helping her through her own, has been a real focus of mine ever since.

So it seemed only right to share these lessons with you!
That way you'll be prepared if something traumatic happens that involves your children.

Tune in to find out 3 ways to help your young child process trauma - and read about these 3 ways, find the entire back catalog of the podcast, watch my recent YouTube video about how to make big parenting decisions, and check out lots more stuff at weturnedoutokay.com/242 ...

And thanks for listening!

Sep 6, 2018

"[My husband and I, and our little daughter] are rushing out the door and late to work most mornings. I'm looking forward to participating in the challenge to figure out how to get to work on time!"

"With kindergarten I feel like I'm about to toss [my daughter] to the wolves. I'm worried I will have to practically push her through the door. How can I help her overcome her fear and her habitual morning anxiety?"

Do you, like these listeners, struggle with chaotic mornings? If so sign up here for the Streamline Your Mornings challenge, going on all next week September 10-14!

Each day you will learn one new tactic to eliminate the stress and frustration that mornings can bring, so you can calmly and confidently enjoy your mornings with your kids.

Stop the morning madness!

Listen to this quickie episode to learn more about the Streamline Your Mornings challenge… And then:
Click the link below to join this challenge:
weturnedoutokay.com/streamline

Sep 4, 2018

To wrap up our Back-to-School Bootcamp series we take a look today at milestones, guidelines, and goals in our kids' education.

How important is it to have a 20,000-foot view of a young child's life?
What kind of goals should you set, and what kind of milestones should you look for?

That's what today's episode is all about.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/241 for notes to this episode...

Sign up for the upcoming Streamline Your Mornings challenge by clicking here: weturnedoutokay.com/streamline!

And click here for an advanced chapter of my forthcoming book, Your Child Explained Volume 1… 

And thank you so much for listening!

Aug 28, 2018

Glad you are here for Module 3 of our Back-to-School Bootcamp!

Today we follow up on last week's discussion of what to do about school or childcare problems, so listen back to that one if you're wondering "how do I handle THIS?"

Many of us wonder "what is my role in my child's education, how can I best help?" I've got three crucial actions you must take so your child can thrive!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/240 for more on these 3 steps, help getting your child to love reading, and links to back episodes of everything…

And thank you so much for listening!

[Please note: Magic Words for Parents, our series of quick phrases to help you say the right thing even in the toughest parenting moments, is on vacation until September 10… Click here for the playlist of past Magic Words in YouTube, and click here for the EXTRA Magic Words videos … get exclusive access by becoming a We Turned Out Okay Patreon patron.]

Aug 21, 2018

Glad you are here for Module 2 of our Back-to-School Boot camp!

Today we follow up on last week's determination of readiness, so listen back to that one if you're wondering "is my child ready for this?"

Problems can crop up whether your child is "ready" for this step or not, so I've got three crucial steps you need to take to handle challenges!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/239 for more on these 3 steps, help getting your child to love reading, and links to back episodes of everything…

And thank you so much for listening!

[Please note: Magic Words for Parents, our series of quick phrases to help you say the right thing even in the toughest parenting moments, is on vacation until September 10… Click here for the playlist of past Magic Words in YouTube, and click here for the EXTRA Magic Words videos … get exclusive access by becoming a We Turned Out Okay Patreon patron.]

Aug 14, 2018

We've got a great August coming up for you,

a whole series of new episodes on overcoming the perils of back-to-school!

Starting with today's episode, in which I share three ways to know if your child is ready – for preschool, for kindergarten, for first or second grade, for relocating to a new school… You name it and we cover it in this episode.

If, after you listen, you're thinking "maybe my kid ISN'T ready for this…" Hang onto your hats for next week. That is when we will discuss what to do if you're not sure your child is ready for whatever's in store!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/238 for help getting your child to love reading, to take my survey on your biggest back-to-school challenge, and links to back episodes of everything…

And thank you so much for listening!

[Please note: Magic Words for Parents, our series of quick phrases to help you say the right thing even in the toughest parenting moments, is on vacation until September 10… Click here for the playlist of past Magic Words in YouTube, and click here for the EXTRA Magic Words videos … get exclusive access by becoming a We Turned Out Okay Patreon patron.]

Aug 7, 2018

Talking with returning champion KJ Dell'Antonia

is always a pleasure, and this episode is maybe my favorite conversation with her yet!

KJ has got a book coming out later this month, and if you're feeling the pressures of parenting, you are going to LOVE her book, How to be a Happier Parent.

Like so many of my favorite conversations, this one zooms around and goes in directions that I didn't envision when we sat down to talk.

And every direction offers something valuable for you to take into your parenting life.

We talk about:

  • Why parents need something of their own – something separate from your kids – to enjoy
  • How (and why) after-school activities and sports got so crazy
  • KJ's two key steps to handling the big, bad pressures on us parents.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/237 for the TONS of links that come up in our conversation, and also to read more about KJ's 2-step process to deal with those pressures…

And thank you so much for listening!

Aug 2, 2018

What's toughest for you about this time of year?

Maybe it's your worries about how your child will handle the upcoming school year

Or maybe it's just that you can't stand the thought of the crazy schedule changes that are coming your way…

Or maybe you're worrying about how to work with teachers or administrators?

I'm creating a Back to School Bootcamp to directly address your toughest struggles!

We'll have new Bootcamp podcast episodes all throughout August to get you the help you need, here at the beginning of the school year, PLUS a free guide teaching 6 ways to help your kids love reading…

It all starts with you sharing what drives you most nuts at this time of year.

Click here to fill out my super-quick, 3-question back-to-school survey, so I can help you best in these upcoming weeks!

Cheers!

PS Want to help your child love reading? Click here for the guide : )

Jul 31, 2018

Welcome to Part 5 of our series on how to have good weeknights with your kids!

Click here for our FREE Tame the Weeknight Chaos Guide

Today we are talking about what to do when things go wrong with even the best-planned weeknight..

I've got 3 easy steps that you can use to overcome the frustrations, troubleshoot the problems that come up, and truly enjoy weeknights with your children!

Watch this video for more on these steps to solve weeknight issues:

 

Want my concise roadmap to good weeknights with your kids? Get the Tame the Weeknight Chaos video and checklist today!
Get the guide – and also watch the video module I made to accompany this episode, plus the video I made this week about what to do when your young child hits you  – at:
weturnedoutokay.com/236

Thanks and happy listening!

Jul 24, 2018

Welcome to Part 4 of our series on how to have good weeknights with your kids!

Click here for the FREE Tame the Weeknight Chaos Guide

Today we are talking about how to say positive, weeknight after weeknight, even when you are burned out on family time..

I've got 3 easy steps that you can use to overcome the feeling of being fed up and instead truly enjoy weeknights with your children!

Watch this video for more on these steps to overcome weeknight burnout:

Want my concise roadmap to good weeknights with your kids? Get the Tame the Weeknight Chaos video and checklist today!
Get the guide – and also watch the video module I made to accompany this episode, plus the videos I made this week about stopping kids' annoying behavior and what to do when your child is jumping on the couch to attract your attention at the WORST possible time – at:
weturnedoutokay.com/235

Thanks and happy listening!

Jul 17, 2018

Welcome to Part 3 of our Taming the Weeknight Chaos series!

Click here for the FREE Tame the Weeknight Chaos Guide, including Video & Checklist

Today we are talking about how to start weeknights off right.

I've got 3 easy steps that you can use to get a peaceful and enjoyable start to this very evening!

Want my complete, free Guide to Taming Weeknight chaos, which includes a 6-point checklist and a video?
Get the guide – and also watch the video module I made to accompany this episode – at:
weturnedoutokay.com/234

Thanks and happy listening!

Jul 10, 2018

Welcome to Part 2 of our Taming the Weeknight Chaos series!

Today we address a huge challenge in every parent's efforts to create enjoyable, smooth family weeknights: there's just not enough time to get everything done.

In fact today is a troubleshooting episode, because we tackle that problem – and also the "I'm always the bad cop" problem that comes up for tons of parents!

You'll find this episode really helpful if weeknight chaos is a problem for you.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/233 for:

A video covering these two common problems with weeknights;

And: A free 6-Point Checklist and Video Guide to help you truly enjoy weeknights with your kids

Happy listening : )

Jul 3, 2018

Today is the start of a new series

here at We Turned Out okay!

It's all about taming the chaotic and crazy weeknights that so many of us experience in raising kids.

We start by investigating: WHY are weeknights so tough?

For us parents, evenings – especially weeknights – are a constant slog.

I want to make this series tailored exactly to your needs, and in order to do that I need you to respond to the poll I've got going on this very topic!

Go to the We Turned Out Okay Facebook page to take the poll (the link is just below)…

Or if you are in the We Turned Out Okay email group, the poll has already landed in your inbox, and hopefully you've already written me back.

Thank you so much for helping me make this series into exactly what will help you most!

 

All The Links

I'm making it easy on you to access all the links I talk about in today's episode:

Click here for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook page, where you can take the poll (and also catch the Magic Words for Parents video I do live each Monday at 10 AM EST : )

Click here for the Karen Lock Kolp YouTube channel, featuring a playlist of Magic Words for Parents, including this week's which shares a phrase for when your child loses a special comfort object, like a blanky or stuffed animal.

Click here for EXTRA Magic Words for Parents, exclusive access to my patron-only feed, advanced chapters of my forthcoming book, Your Child Explained Volume 1, and other great stuff which goes way beyond what regular listeners get… Find all these awesome and exclusive extras at Patreon.com/weturnedoutokay!

I teach these great things called Parent-Ninja Tactics, which are THE key to happy parenting, and they're only available in the Ninja Parenting Community.
I would love to teach you these and help you truly enjoy the time you spend with your kids!
Join the Ninja Parenting Community by going to weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC.

Click here to sign up for my FREE checklist and video on How to Handle Every Temper Tantrum so that you can calmly, confidently handle your child's very next one!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/232 for every back episode of the podcast, and to read more about the top three reasons why weeknights are so challenging…

And thank you so much for listening!

Jun 26, 2018

Today we're talking about safety – just simple safety.

I've got three unconventional ways to help you ensure that your child is safe, in a variety of situations and from the time that they are very small…

For notes on the three ways I share this episode to keep your child safe, and also for every podcast back episode,

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/231

And for podcast extras you will LOVE go to patreon.com/weturnedoutokay...

Thank you so much for listening!

 How to share about today's show

As always, thank you for sharing about We Turned Out Okay!

Today's is the kind of show where somebody might get upset when you say "oh – YOU will get so much benefit," because nobody wants to think that they wouldn't keep their kids safe.

So if you know someone who is notorious for letting their kids run around unattended, or for yelling all the time, here's how to share it:

Post it on a public page, like your Facebook page, and say something like "I got such benefit from this episode of We Turned Out Okay," instead of singling somebody else out.

And thank you so much for sharing! That is how our show has grown and grown : )

Jun 19, 2018

I'm so happy to share

this wonderful conversation with Charlie Hoehn, dad, podcaster, person who helps people publish books, and (most important for our conversation today) author.

Charlie's book, Play It Away, shares his experience with soul-sucking anxiety, and the simple cure he found.

The thing about this cure is, it's something humans all do naturally, and it's as important to us as sleep.

But yet we often grow up and forget how important it is; the lack of this crucial element in Charlie's life is what caused his terrible anxiety.

If you're feeling anxious, you are going to love our conversation.

And if you're not feeling anxious, you'll still love it because it will help you see the importance of this element in your child's life.

Shout out this week to new patrons of We Turned Out Okay: Steve, and Sue, who are supporting WTOO in Patreon and getting access to exclusive content, like EXTRA Magic Words for Parents, and Behind-the-Scenes videos!

You can get these great extras too, just by going to Patreon.com/weturnedoutokay!

This week's Magic Words for Parents video shares a quick phrase you can use to help when your child is feeling overwhelmed by too many choices. Watch by clicking here to join the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group, or by clicking here to watch in YouTube, where there's a whole playlist of Magic Words!

Thank you for listening to today's episode!
Key links and show notes – and THE CUTEST picture of Charlie with his little girl! – at weturnedoutokay.com/230.

Cheers!

Jun 12, 2018

I'm so excited to bring you this week's show, all about timeouts!

  • Also:
    I announce the name of the parenting book I'm working on right now! And I share some exciting news: the introduction to this book is available for you to read, for free, at Patreon.com/weturnedoutokay!
  • This week's Magic Words for Parents video shares a quick phrase you can use to stop your child's begging and whining in stores like Target or food shopping. Watch by clicking here to join the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group, or by clicking here to watch in YouTube, where there's a whole playlist of Magic Words!
  • Thanks to all the We Turned Out Okay Patreon patrons, and shout out to Tiffany, our latest patron! Tiffany's getting some awesome rewards, which you can get too, listen to today's show and go to Patreon.com/weturnedoutokay for more information : )

Do you find that giving a time out

to your young child is an effective way to change that child's behavior?

Maybe you find, as one coaching client of mine does, that timeouts become "a battle of wills" and aren't effective at all.

Maybe your young child runs away from the timeout chair, giggling and leaving you super frustrated…

If so, this is the show for you because today I'm teaching how to effectively discipline your young child!

For notes on today's episode including my 4-step formula for disciplining effectively, as well as to sign up for my 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting live, online class, go to weturnedoutokay.com/229.

Thanks for listening!

Jun 5, 2018

Special thanks to: Nancy, Diane, Ben, and Max, each of whom became patrons of the show in Patreon this week!

They're getting helpful stuff like access to my Patron-only feed, Extra Magic Words for Parents videos, and early access to chapters of parenting books I'm working on right now - plus I'm saying thanks to them in today's episode!

Get GREAT extras and a shout-out in next week's We Turned Out Okay episode! Go to:

Patreon.com/weturnedoutokay 

Speaking of books! This week I'm sharing about four helpful ones for you as you raise your kids.

Next week I'm announcing what my next book will be, so stay tuned :)

 Four must-reads for anyone raising children…

But only one of them is considered a "parenting" book.

These books are game-changers, helping you power through the tough parts of life, frame your day-to-day living differently, and feel happy inside!

For links to each book as well as to sign up for my upcoming 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting free, live, online class, go to weturnedoutokay.com/228.

Thank you so much for listening, I know you'll get a lot from these Fabulous Four!

Jun 2, 2018

For a long time, the podcast was the tool.
Then I wrote Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics – and we had 2 tools.
And now, a little more than three years in, we've got a multitude of tools for parenting and happy family time...

Today's episode is a discussion of some of the best tools, a description of how parents are changing their families' lives by utilizing these tools, and a roadmap so that you know where to find the exact We Turned Out Okay tools you need!

This episode came up because, at the beginning of 2018, a new listener to We Turned Out Okay got in touch with me, and she shared that she had a bad experience listening to the show: to her, listening felt as if I'd taken her to a party where I knew everyone - and she knew no one.

I really took that critique to heart. I've been working ever since to be sure that everything I do makes you, the listener, feel welcomed and included, and that's how we ended up where we are.

The tools I talk about in this episode:

Click here for the podcast page of weturnedoutokay.com

Click here for the We Turned out Okay Facebook group… And click here for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook page

Click here for my YouTube channel, where you'll find the Magic Words for Parents playlist

Click here for the We Turned Out Okay Patreon page where you'll find Extra Magic Words for Parents, access to my patron-only feed, and where you'll be able to read my parenting books long before they are published! Lots of great tools in Patreon : )

Click here for the Ninja Parenting Community, where you'll have access to all of my best parenting tools

Thank you for listening!

Please share this episode if you know a parent who needs some good tools!

May 29, 2018

Picture this: you're in the car, in a parking lot, with your screaming three-year-old and six-month-old.

You're on a call with work, and you've got the call muted so that you can hear what's going on – but your coworkers can't hear the car chaos.

Until one of your coworkers says "Shannon, what do you think?" – and you know that as soon as you unmute the call everyone on it will hear the screaming.

What do you do?

If you are today's guest, you learn from this situation… and you take that learning and make a life with a proper balance between family, and work.

Join me in a great conversation with Shannon Miles, author of The Third Option, all about handling the tough choices that we parents face every day.

Shannon shares a wonderful 3-step process if you're feeling stuck, with a big decision to make.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/227 for notes on this process, and also for the key links that come up during our conversation –

and thank you so much for listening!

PS Shannon asked me to share that the company she and her husband Bryan started is hiring! Click belaysolutions.com if you, or someone you know, might be interested in working for the Mileses : )

May 22, 2018

This episode, we focus on a serious issue.
It's one you may have been wondering about, but not known what to do about – or even if it was a big deal at all:

Does tablet or smartphone use contribute to a child's behavior problems?

We live in this world, which is absolutely filled with tech. The tech doesn't appear to be going anywhere fast… So what's the answer?

Does tablet use contribute to behavior problems?

Listen to today's episode to find out!

For notes on this episode including:

- Three ways to safely use technology with your littles
- The sign-up for the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting FREE online class, which distills everything I've learned into 3 simple lessons for true enjoyment of this parenting life
– Key Links and every back episode of We Turned Out Okay

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/226.

And thank you so much for listening!

May 15, 2018

Maybe you have said to yourself,
when you're watching a parent fail miserably to bring a recalcitrant child under control, "that will NEVER be me. I pride myself on order and discipline in my house!"

Or, maybe you've heard snide comments from teachers or relatives about your child "ruling the roost," and it's frustrating because you don't want to be a disciplinarian. That's not why you had kids, to order them around!

So, which is it? Do you need to be firm? Or do you need to be flexible?

Listen to today's episode to find out!

For notes on this episode including:

- The answer to this dilemma of flexibility vs. firmness
- The sign-up for the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting FREE online class, which distills everything I've learned into 3 simple lessons for true enjoyment of this parenting life
– Key Links and every back episode of We Turned Out Okay

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/225.

Thank you so much for listening!

May 8, 2018

To us grown-ups, summer can mean

headaches caused by heat and humidity, too much time spent in air-conditioning, and unwelcome changes in routine.

Also, the endless application of sunscreen on our littles.

But to kids, just being outside can be a revelation. There's birdsong, and water, and dirt…

Summer is a great time for reconnecting with your child, for truly listening to him or her - for deep, true bonding with this little person you are bringing up.

Does that seem daunting? If you're not sure how to begin, listen to this episode of We Turned Out Okay!

Today, I am excited to interview Sunshine Parenting podcast host Audrey Monke, who has directed a summer camp for more than 30 years.

In that time Audrey has seen it all: extreme homesickness, parental worries, and, again and again, the life-changing magic of summertime.

We tap into her knowledge of how to make summer great, as Audrey shares THE 3 most important things you can do this summer to capture that magic, to truly enjoy the time you spend with your young child.

For TONS of amazing links that come up in today's conversation, as well as to join our We Turned Out Okay private Facebook group (I've got a big announcement in today's episode about something new happening in the group!)…

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/224.
Thanks for listening!

May 1, 2018

As you probably did, I got spanked as a kid.
But, probably unlike you, I became an early childhood educator and lesson one was "we never, EVER spank a child."

Still, it's tempting, especially if it means stopping a behavior that you cannot stand for one more minute.

So, is it ever okay to spank your child? Do you ever do it?

Today – on We Turned Out Okay's THIRD birthday! – we dig into why parents spank kids, the lessons a child learns from being spanked, and what other options we parents have.

WHY Parents Spank Kids
Not surprisingly, spanking doesn't happen when your child's behavior is smooth and easy.

It's when they balk at what you are telling them to do.

When they drag their feet, whine, nag at a sibling until that sibling retaliates.

Spankings happen when we feel that we have been pushed to the absolute brink – when we feel like we have got no other choice.

Take a listen to this episode if you've ever felt like that, especially if you're not quite sure that spanking is what you should be doing, but you don't see any other option.

For notes to today's episode, including:

- A 3-step method you can follow to discipline without spanking
- The sign-up for the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting FREE online class, which distills everything I've learned into 3 simple lessons for true enjoyment of this parenting life
– Key Links and every back episode of We Turned Out Okay

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/223.

Thank you so much for listening!

Apr 22, 2018

Lots of us parents are pretty freaked out by the thought of money,

finances, and all the stuff we don't understand about it.

Ben (my husband and the producer of our show) and I have spent the last year or so confronting our concerns about money, really looking our finances squarely in the face and conquering our fears…

Through this process, we have become more of a team than we were before! Our goals are aligned, each understands the other's priorities better than ever, and we work closely together now to make our dreams come true.

That's why I wanted to go in depth on the subject for you.

I want you to have those same good feelings, and understand that it's possible to conceive of a great future for your child – and to actually start BUILDING that future.

 

What are the 5 most important things for you to remember, when you're thinking about finances and raising kids? Listen to today's episode to find out!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/222 for notes on today's 5 key takeaways, and links to every WTOO episode about parenting and money, so you can really go in depth on this topic!

At the website you'll also find:
– Every back episode of We Turned Out Okay
– The sign-up for our 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting FREE online class
– Links so you can subscribe to the podcast in Apple/iTunes, Spotify, and more

Happy Listening!

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