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The We Turned Out Okay Podcast

What kind of hijinks did you get up to as a kid? Did you climb trees? Did you run around outside barefoot? Did you eat raw cookie dough? Maybe you wanted to do these and other crazy things, but you weren't allowed… Let me ask you this: what if your children wanted to? Would you let them? If you hesitate there, well, you're in the right place. The We Turned Out Okay podcast is where we learn the hows and whys of hovering less and enjoying our young children more. You get to learn from host Karen Lock Kolp's mistakes, but especially from the successes of her guests. Each helpful, lively conversation illustrates why this show really is "The Modern Guide to Old-School Parenting."
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Now displaying: 2016
Dec 27, 2016

The story I tell today really happened. The year I was nine, we headed up to Montréal from our home in New England to spend the Christmas holidays with our extended family as usual.

But this trip was anything except for "usual!"

It took us more than 54 hours to complete the trip – which normally takes 8-hours – and included many harrowing moments as my mom tried desperately to get herself and us 3 kids safely to her once-a-year time with the family she loved and missed so much.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/127 for links to WGBH studios – where I was invited to tell this story live on stage – and to Mass Mouth, the awesome Massachusetts storytelling organization!

Are you feeling overwhelmed in your parenting?
Check out the Ninja Parenting Community, for expert advice about how to handle anything your kids throw at you!
We've got training courses – like the Sanity With Kids course, about staying sane even while raising kids – exclusive members-only calls, vibrant forums, and lots of ways to feel better.
Click here to check out the community, I hope to see you in the forums!

Dec 22, 2016

Today I'm asking the question: "what matters most… To your kids?"

It's something I've been thinking about since speaking with Jonathan Fields, this past Tuesday's guest.

Through his Good Life Project podcast, Jonathan has been a HUGE mentor of mine. Tuesday we found out who some of Jonathan's mentors are; one turns out to be Milton Glaser, a man who helped Jonathan realize the value of structuring your life so that you prioritize the things that matter most.

What mattered most to Jonathan: time with his wife and their daughter.

This dovetails nicely with what matters most to our kids: it's the time we spend with them.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/126 for full show notes and key links – enjoy the show!

Dec 20, 2016

I've been a huge fan of Jonathan Fields' Good Life Project podcast for over a year now; the guests, subject matter, and message have been instrumental in my life and We Turned Out Okay.

So, when Jonathan accepted my invitation to come on my show, I did a happy dance! (I was already doing one anyway… Jonathan's book, How to Live A Good Life, came out right around the time of our conversation : )

If you're trying to figure out how to survive these next weeks – if you're feeling overwhelmed, and not as joyful as the season suggests you should – you are going to love the show.

Also - are you feeling overwhelmed in your parenting?
Check out the Ninja Parenting Community, for expert advice about how to handle anything your kids throw at you!
We've got training courses – like the Sanity With Kids course, about staying sane even while raising kids – exclusive members-only calls, vibrant forums, and lots of ways to feel better.
Click here to check out the community, I hope to see you in the forums!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/125 for show notes and key links!

Dec 15, 2016

I'm cranking up the mic for two reasons today:

1) listening back to episode 123, where Ninja Parenting Community member Sabrina shared her concerns about holiday overwhelm and helping her girls handle gift-giving, I wanted to create something to help you if you're facing those same problems…

So, I did! Download the FREE 3 Principles of Kids and Gifts if you want help:
– cutting through the gift giving insanity and overwhelm
– finding solutions that work for your whole family – including you.
– Truly enjoying celebrations, with less stress

Click this link to download them today and make the most of the season!

2) an article I read in the paper today, two Saturdays before Christmas eve, really got me thinking about a problem unique to the family gatherings we will all be attending this year. The article reads in part:
"But some non-Trump voters are not yet in a place where they can joke.
That includes [a Dad who shall remain nameless, because he represents a great many people listening today] and his family. This year they will not go to his wife's great aunt's Christmas gathering, in large part for fear of an argument breaking out in front of their 6-year-old daughter.
"She doesn't understand why people like this person, said [this Dad], referring to Trump, "and to explain to her that people in her own family like this person – it would be a lot for her to process."
– "Can The Holidays Be Happy?" The Boston Globe, Saturday, December 10th, 2016

In the wake of that article, I'm wondering: how are you?

Are you worrying about attending family gatherings this year, when it all feels so contentious?

I really hope this episode helps you, if that's the case. Click here to get the full show notes and key links!

Dec 13, 2016

Recently I did an episode called How to Help Kids Cope with Anxiety Over New Situations, episode 117 – and it got near-record downloads.

In episode 117, we helped Melissa figure out how to help her kids handle new situations better – and even how to handle new situations better herself.

(Episode 117 is a recording of a coaching call with a Ninja Parenting Community member – if you want to become a member of our community and get all your parenting questions answered, click here.)

The amount of downloads made me realize something: Melissa is not the only one listening with some anxiety over new situations!

Today, I dig into the idea of anxiety, especially when travel and extended family are involved.

Recorded in December, I hope this episode helps you prepare for year-end gatherings and holiday celebrations.

If you're listening after the holidays, it will still be helpful because new situations happen all the time, we parents often expose our kids to new situations, even outside of this season.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/124 for full show notes and key links. I hope this episode helps you!

Dec 8, 2016

Today, Ninja Parenting Community member Sabrina shares about the concerns she's having right now: how to manage her children's expectations, everyone's feelings of overwhelm – and balancing her own needs with the needs of her family.

Recorded in early December, Sabrina has both a daughter's birthday coming up as well as the busy and overwhelming-in-and-of-itself holiday season.

Sabrina got to have this conversation with me because she is a member of our Ninja Parenting Community.
If you want my help sorting out your toughest parenting issues, you should join too!
We've got training courses – like the Sanity With Kids course, about staying sane even while raising kids – exclusive members-only calls, vibrant forums, and lots of ways to feel better.
Click here to check out the community, I hope to see you in the forums!

Click weturnedoutokay.com/123 for show notes and key links!

Dec 6, 2016

Are you feeling overwhelmed in your parenting?
Check out the Ninja Parenting Community, for expert advice about how to handle anything your kids throw at you!
We've got training courses – like the Sanity With Kids course, about staying sane even while raising kids – exclusive members-only calls, vibrant forums, and lots of ways to feel better.
Click here to check out the community, I hope to see you in the forums!

You may know Jocelyn and Shane Sams from their entrepreneurial podcast, Flipped Lifestyle… "Where Life Always Comes Before Work." This fun and inspirational couple has figured out a way to make their living online, thus spending more time on the important stuff – like raising their 7 and 5-year-old kids!

Today's conversation does not get into entrepreneurship at all, except in talking about how this duo functions as a team – without, in their words, "killin' each other."

It does, however, share Shane and Jocelyn's best tips for enjoying your relationships – with work, family, and those closest to you.

Our conversation is in turns hilarious (as in when Shane describes his "safety wipe" potty training method), and tender (I nearly named this episode "love is a verb," I was so moved when Shane and Jocelyn brought up this concept.)

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/122 for full show notes and key links – and enjoy listening. I know you're going to love this one!

Nov 29, 2016

On November 4 of this year, we heard our very first Christmas commercial, prompting my youngest and I to freak out a little bit.

I mean, November 4! We're still eating Halloween candy on November 4, we're not ready to even think about Thanksgiving, never mind the crazy end-of-the-year extravaganza the holiday season is nowadays.

So my question is: how are you feeling?
Are you stressed out about the holidays?

If so, you're going to love these next weeks of We Turned Out Okay.

We've got conversations coming up with guests who share practical advice for feeling better right now, and the 3-part Holiday Survival guide to give you the support and solace you need to bring your family through this season with smiles on all your faces.

Today: I share an embarrassing story, because I want you to learn from my greedy mistake that experiences matter lots more than stuff.

It's so easy to forget that at this time of year.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/121 for show notes and key links, and enjoy the show!

Nov 24, 2016

There are so many great reasons to help our kids give, no matter their age. Today we dig into not just why but how to help even very young children become "givers."

For many years now, my two boys set aside just a little bit of money each month – an idea given to us by the mom of a friend of theirs. This particular mom also happens to be a midwife, and Max and Jay are helping fund her trip to Haiti, to train midwives and deliver babies, contributing nearly 200 dollars with this little bit of money each month!

There were tears in this mom's eyes when I handed over their donation; that is the power of giving.

But it doesn't just have to be about money. Small kids can contribute in several other ways – listen to this episode for some other ideas to help you help your child become a giver.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/120 for full show notes – including links to tutorials for making no-sew fleece blankets and doggie beds out of old sweatshirts – and key links for this episode!

Nov 22, 2016

Today's guests, Annemarie Kelly-Harbaugh and Ken Harbaugh, did some pretty amazing stuff before they became parents. She helped troubled young people in a program that functioned mainly way out in the woods, he was a naval officer who flew reconnaissance missions and responded to disasters here at home and internationally.

They had each encountered their fair share of storms, which helped them prepare for the challenges of parenthood.

Just like all of us, Ken and Annemarie have seen some storms in parenting; what's cool about them is that they don't just ride out the storms – they learn from them.

In fact, they've written a book – Here Be Dragons: A Parent's Guide to Rediscovering Purpose, Adventure, and the Unfathomable Joy of The Journey – and are on the show today sharing some of their best lessons with us.

I'm excited to bring you today's episode this week especially, because Thanksgiving comes up in our conversation.

And so does so much else.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/119 for full show notes and key links, including those to Annemarie and Ken's awesome blog and book!

Nov 15, 2016

When Ninja Parenting Community member Melissa shared about the anxiety that her kids can feel in new situations – as well as that she herself experiences this anxiety – I knew this was going to be a great Your Child Explained episode.

Who among us has not felt anxiety in new situations? It's so easy for kids to feed off of our worries.

I hope you learn lots as Melissa opens up about the toughest parts of the family's day, feeling overwhelmed, and lots more that you will totally identify with – I know I did.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/118 for my recommendations and key links!

Nov 9, 2016

The gist of this show is, we take care of each other. It's going to be okay.

This morning I woke up to pandemonium, with Canadian loved ones seriously offering their homes… Some of the calmest people that I know terrified and freaking out… My Facebook feed – like yours, I'm sure – filled with tears and panic.

Because half the country was pro--her, and the other half of the country pro-him, we were all going to know some people who hate and fear the results of yesterday's presidential election.

What resonated with me most: parents asking "how do I tell my kids about this?"

Here's how I talked to my boys this morning: I posted a quote to ponder.

In the recent Boston Globe Magazine Women & Power issue, Axcelis Technologies CEO Mary G. Puma was asked how she handles crisis. She responded that a mentor of hers used to say (here comes the quote):

"Never waste a good crisis."

Meaning: how can we move forward?

I wanted this episode to use today's "good crisis" as a catalyst, to help us all bring our kids through tough stuff.

So, I got in here a little earlier than usual in hopes of making you feel better if you are, shall we say, not your usual calm self.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/117 to read about the three ways you can help your kids, and talk to them about this election!

Nov 8, 2016

What worries you about technology and your kids?
Is it online predators? Cyber bullying?
The idea that they'll disappear into their little devices and you'll never see them again?

My guest today, Devorah Heitner, is an expert at helping us understand technology and our kids – and ourselves.

Because like it or not, we are raising digital natives; we need to get this right!

Devorah has appeared on the Today show, NPR, the Discovery Education Channel; she's been featured in Time magazine and Real Simple. Most recently, she's written Screenwise, a book about raising kids in this digital age, highly recommended!

Today – election day if you're listening in real time – Devorah is on the show to help us understand both raising kids in our digital world, and how to teach civility in this era of utterly uncivil political/public discourse.

To read more about my conversation with Devorah, view her amazing TED-X talk, and to listen to our conversation, go to weturnedoutokay.com/116!

 

Nov 1, 2016

In the final chapter in our three-part series (click here for Part 1 about good sleep, and here for Part 2 about the antidote to anxiety), The Modern Parent's Guide to Surviving This Election Cycle, I share about how you can become as educated as possible on the candidates…

Because knowledge IS power.

I'll be voting a week from today – I share in this episode about why voting at all is so important to me, having only been able to vote in the last three presidential elections – and I hope you will vote too.

In this series, I'm also working really hard to be completely unbiased… I don't care WHO you vote for.

I just care that you go in with good information and actually vote.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/115 for notes and links to the unbiased websites I worked so hard to find for you (we stay well away from the candidates' own sites, as well as any site that hints at bias); get informed and then please go vote!

Oct 27, 2016

This past Tuesday, my conversation with mom and broadcast journalist Cheryl Tan ranged among many important topics, including how to talk to our kids about current events and tough stuff, and how to feel better about this election. (Go to weturnedoutokay.com/113 for my conversation with Cheryl.)

One aspect of our talk resonated with me as a great subject to dive into in a Your Child Explained episode: a family schedule that works for everybody.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/114 for notes from this episode on why creating a great family schedule is so important, and for key links!

Oct 25, 2016

I knew I wanted to speak with a journalist regarding next month's presidential election, so I was thrilled when today's guest, veteran TV reporter/anchor Cheryl Tan, agreed to come on the show!

Cheryl has appeared on CNN and Fox News, and currently hosts her own entrepreneurial TV show, Hampton Roads Business Weekly, the Standout podcast, and teaches entrepreneurs how to connect with journalists in her online community, PR Pro.

Speaking with Cheryl helped me realize that "the mainstream media" – feared by some, considered distant by others – is made up of real people. They are sons and daughters, moms and dads, brothers and sisters, and like Cheryl they want to tell people's stories.

In today's episode Cheryl shares about the crazy schedule-juggling that two married journalists go through while raising three boys, how to talk to kids about current events, and Cheryl shares advice that she's not sure you'll love, but nevertheless is her best idea for parents of young children…

Click weturnedoutokay.com/113 for notes in key links on today's episode!

Oct 20, 2016

Here are the top 2 reasons to listen to today's episode:

1) With all the fear in the air right now, you might benefit from a story about becoming fearless – so, here it is!

I told this hilarious and inspiring story last week, about becoming fearless while sitting in front of my mom's sewing machine as a young woman, and it took second place in the Massmouth Story Slam competition! I'm semifinals bound, and super excited : )

(My 4 1/2-minute story is, shall we say, not expletive-free… Grab some headphones or listen away from your kids. I hope you enjoy it!)

2) Speaking of fear, according to this article last week at Vox.com, 55% of voters were "disgusted" with the campaign… back in September.
I'm betting that that number has gone up a bit as this election has changed from PG to R-rated.

And if we are that freaked out – how are our kids?

When our fear and upset level goes up, so does theirs.

You can make both you and your kids feel better by coming to my FREE online class tonight:

How to Parent Young Children in this Mixed-up, Crazy World

I'll teach you how to:
– Coach your kids through the election insanity
– Help them feel less anxious
– Lessen your own anxiety

You can make "Everybody Sucks 2016" a little better for yourself and your kids –

Go to weturnedoutokay.com and sign up for tonight's class!

I can help you help your kids through the election craziness, tonight at 7 PM Eastern standard Time.

See you in class!

Oct 18, 2016

According to this article last week at Vox.com, 55% of voters were "disgusted" with the campaign… back in September.
I'm betting that that number has gone up a bit as this election has changed from PG to R-rated.

And if we are that freaked out – how are our kids?

When our fear and upset level goes up, so does theirs.

You can make both you and your kids feel better by coming to my FREE online class:

How to Parent Young Children in this Mixed-up, Crazy World

I'll teach you how to:
– Coach your kids through the election insanity
– Help them feel less anxious
– Lessen your own anxiety

You can make "Everybody Sucks 2016" a little better for yourself and your kids –

Go to weturnedoutokay.com and sign up for the October 20 (this coming Thursday) class!

I can help you help your kids through the election craziness, Thursday October 20 at 7 PM Eastern standard Time.

See you in class!

Oct 13, 2016

I start out today by speaking a little bit more about homework for young kids and the remarks that American Academy of Pediatrics president Dr. Benard Dreyer made regarding this in episode 107.

After hearing episode 106 (the homework backlash episode), a mom got in touch with me to share about the heaps of homework her first grader receives each night, and the fact that three missed homework assignments earns this six-year-old after school detention.

After school detention! For a six-year-old!

I really hope that listening to Dr. Dreyer's words on homework is helpful for everyone, but especially for those of you whose kids are stuck in a really crummy homework situation.

This past Tuesday in episode 110, my guest, former assistant secretary of Homeland Security and creator of book and podcast Security Mom, Juliette Kayyem, shared many great ideas for helping us feel safer amidst the contentious election and toxic fall vibes.

Today I expand on her comment that if we are calm, our kids will be calm as well – but if we freak out, they'll freak out too.

We look at security through our kids' eyes, discussing why they react that way and figuring out how to alleviate their anxieties.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/111 for notes, a hilarious and wonderful – and, I promise, relevant to today's show – YouTube clip of the Muppets, and to listen!

Oct 11, 2016

If you are nervous about the sense of unrest in the air, about the upcoming contentious election, about the threats of violence from all quarters; if you're feeling a little powerless as to how to protect your home and family in the midst of the toxic vibes, you are going to LOVE this show.

Beloved children's television host Fred Rogers famously said: "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping."

For more than fifteen years, my guest today has been one of those helpers –

In her role as assistant secretary of the Department of Homeland Security, Juliette Kayyem figured out how every day people could help during the 2010 BP oil spill; she advised then-Governor Deval Patrick in her position as Massachusetts' first Homeland Security advisor.

She's an expert in disaster preparation, she's been keeping people informed since before 9/11 as on-air security analyst for CNN. More recently she's started connecting home and family with homeland security through her podcast and best-selling book, Security Mom.

We commiserate over breast versus bottle, drop a few S-bombs (because as in parenthood, when you are in homeland security, shit happens), and Juliette reminds us "we've had bad presidents before, and we've lived through it."

Click weturnedoutokay.com/110 for links and notes about this wonderful conversation with a true voice of reason, and to enjoy the show!

Oct 4, 2016

How bad is the vague sense of fear, of atmospheric worry, in your life? Because if you feel it, you can bet that your child is getting those vibes from you (and now she's worrying, too.)

It's very difficult to escape the news and mudslinging around this contentious election. That's what started me thinking about how to help you feel better during this time of year when it always seems to feel a bit more "serious" than just a few weeks ago – but this year seems amplified by an order of magnitude.

So, here's the first of three parts of The Modern Parent's Guide to Living Through This Election!

Click weturnedoutokay.com/109 to listen to this episode and to read more about the one thing – THE basic building block – around which we can start to knock back worry and anxiety in our lives, and therefore the lives of our kids.

Sep 29, 2016

About episode 108:

During my recent conversation with American Academy of Pediatrics president Dr. Benard Dreyer, about the key role that parents play in preventing their kids from getting something scary called toxic stress, different parenting styles came up.

Today, in this Your Child Explained episode where we are always figuring out what's going on inside our kids heads, we take a closer look at the different parenting styles and what each looks like from our children's perspective. We also dig into the idea of grit, why it's important and how our kids can get it.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/108 to read more about the three different parenting styles and the promotion of grit, view a great TED talk, and to listen to today's episode!

Sep 27, 2016

Welcome!
To listen to today's episode, school on down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular "play" button.

About today's episode:

With the school year starting, a contentious election giving the feeling of continual hate and negativity in the air, and reports of yet another thing for parents to be worried about – toxic stress in their young children – I knew we needed some voices of reason in our lives.

This conversation marks the beginning of a series of interviews I'm offering this fall called Voices of Reason, where we hear from well-known and influential people with something to say that will make you feel better about the world you're raising your young children in.

I hope this series helps you get through the next few months with less worry and more hope in your life!

Today's guest is the head of an organization with many voices of reason…

In all likelihood your child's pediatrician is among them, because the organization is the American Academy of Pediatrics, and today I have the privilege of bringing you my conversation with the AAP's president, Dr. Benard Dreyer.

Over the summer I started to hear about this scary thing happening in younger and younger kids, called toxic stress. What I read chilled me to the bone: exposure to violence, deprivation, and neglect can affect kids' development in a lifelong way, both physically and mentally.

In his capacity as President of the American Academy of Pediatrics, Dr. Dreyer is working to raise awareness of this condition, and to help parents combat it.

But our conversation brings up much more than that.

We discuss the holy grail of parenting styles – the authoritative, sometimes called wise, style – and the kind of traits authoritative parents exhibit; Dr. Dreyer answers your questions about toxic stress, how to get kids to eat healthy foods, and the problems of antibiotics resistance; and Dr. Dreyer gives his three most important things parents can do each and every day to raise happy, curious, and resilient children.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/107 to listen, for detailed notes about our conversation, learn about the AAP's campaign against virtual violence,and to find out how to contact Dr. Dreyer!

Sep 20, 2016

Do you worry that your child is getting too much homework for his or her young age?

Do you stress out over the nightly fits as said homework is being accomplished?

Then, you're going to love today's episode – it turns out that homework and young children do not mix, and this fall people are standing up and saying "I'm protecting my kid from the scourge of homework!"

For key links and expanded show notes about how to join the revolution, click weturnedoutokay.com/106!

Sep 15, 2016

Today, Ninja Parenting Community member Sabrina Rizk – the very same Sabrina from Tuesday's guest interview #104 – gets help solving a problem that plagues many parents: when your child's first reaction to something negative is to scream.

When I asked Sabrina what aspect of parenting she wanted our parent-coaching call to be about, she said "I want to talk about how to get my six-year-old to have different strategies beside screaming as her first response."

Young Amy struggles when her cereal bowl isn't the color she wanted; when the Lucky Charms don't have enough charms; when Sabrina needs her to complete a chore before watching a show…

I'm sure you know the deal and have struggled through this in your own home. I know I have!

Listen in as Sabrina and I figure out how to alleviate the screaming – and read about some of the solutions we come up with – by going to weturnedoutokay.com/105!

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